Today, my bus got held up in traffic, so I arrived home about 15 minutes late. My mum bitched me out, accused me of sleeping around, and grounded me. All this while my brother raged at his video game in the other room, screaming stuff such as "EAT SHIT, YOU CUNTS!" with total impunity. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my mum yelled "Son of a bitch!" as I narrowly beat her at a game of Mario Kart. I jokingly yelled back "Hell yeah I am!" Now I'm grounded for two weeks, birthday included, all because my mum's a sore loser. FML
Today, I woke up early, went to the gym, then came home and showered. When I went into my room to change, my mom woke up and started pounding on my door, screaming about how lazy and useless I was for sleeping so late. When I tried to tell her otherwise, she grounded me for "talking back". FML
Today, my normally very modest and prissy mom came home, pissed off about something. I asked her what was wrong, but she wouldn't say, and snapped at me to "fuck off." She then grounded me for "making" her use that kind of "vile language." FML
Today, my mom and siblings got into a fight. Being generally quiet and non-confrontational, I stayed out of it. Shortly thereafter, I was yelled at by my mother for being "ungrateful" and "disrespectful." I still don't know what I did wrong. FML
Today, I fell asleep while using my laptop. The next thing I know, it's 8am and my dad is screaming at me for posting "u skank-ass cunt-face" on my mom's Facebook timeline. I never made that post, but he won't believe me. My asshole brother, meanwhile, can't stop smirking at me. FML
Today, after weeks of insomnia, I fell asleep. This would have been great if my brother didn't wake me up at 3 a.m., screaming because his guild finally took down a raid boss. I'm now grounded for thumping him, and have to do all his chores while sleep deprived. FML
Today, I briefly left my laptop while I went to use the toilet. When I came back, I found "I" had posted on Facebook, calling my mom a "stupid cunt who should just stay in the kitchen." The only other person home at the time was my grandpa. She didn't believe it, and permanently grounded me. FML
Today, my dad made a big show of sending me to my room and grounding me for a week. Not because he heard me cursing at my video game, but because I "swear like a little girl" and it embarrassed him in front of his friends. FML
Today, my dad grounded me for two weeks for profusely swearing at my misbehaving laptop. After some arguing, he actually accepted my half-joking offer to play a game of CoD over it. His condition was that if I lost, my grounding period would double. We played. He kicked my ass. FML
Today, my brother yelled at me, calling me a "no-good fucking whore", because I couldn't fix his laptop. The same laptop he threw on the floor after screaming "FUCKING HEAL MEEE!" at his game. As ever, my parents took his side, refusing to believe that I can't fix a cracked monitor. FML
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Top comments
ThatPlankton 15
Cod is serious business. Don't want mom to ruin his killstreak now do you? Selfish much?
Lionesse 15
Ah.. Family. So many emotions conveyed in a single word...
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Comments (79)
ThatPlankton 15
Cod is serious business. Don't want mom to ruin his killstreak now do you? Selfish much?
14avalentour 9
True
Supergirl1988 16
Maybe if OP played CoD their mother would love them too.
Thursday737 7
Maybe if Op's brother didn't play a shitty game like cod (implied by 1) he wouldn't be all mad and stuff.
FuckYouScience12 8
video games rot the brain. stop technology 2013.
blackman100 20
Gotta get them noobs.
Jovecove 13
#35 - Wtf are you, 90? Keep up with technology not oppose it or you're gonna lose your head very soon.
BradTheBrony 19
You don't "get" n00bz, you pwn them! Stupid!
Lionesse 15
Ah.. Family. So many emotions conveyed in a single word...
UberNova 18
Logic, reason and cogent arguments are the way to make others understand, use them, then maybe she will appreciate your words and take them with truth more often.
doodlecloud 27
If only this were true. Unfortunately all the logic, coherence and calm explaining in the world doesn't matter when your mum takes the 'doesn't matter, not listening, I am the parent and I am right' stance.
rocker_chick105 31
Is your brother younger or older is my question..
Mahtari 19
I wish that question was relevant.
DaftDude 11
Younger or older, gaming is definately serious for him!
EvilUndead 9
Younger or older, if he can't keep his emotions in check, he's an idiot. And no, it doesn't mean gaming is serious for him.
DaftDude 11
#53 Why are you responding seriously to what is clearly a humourous joke?
rattusrattus 19
Yeah, I'm going to say your mother is a shitstain on the universe.
mangoboy1 19
A shit stain on the underwear of life.
DudeEvil 22
Would've been worth it if you had slept around, just saying.. :P
Enummoc 10
Just like that old adage: "You do the time, might as well do the crime."
Tempest151 11
Honestly why would your mom care if you were sleeping around? Unless your mom is your sister and your brother is your dad or something. Damn, I'm creepin' myself out here.
curlstar 6
Sounds like no one in your family is getting any. FYL.
MsConfusedd 27
That means she has higher expectations for you because she knows your brother will amount to nothing and you have potential.
oj101 33
Maybe it's just me, but does your mum probably have a favorite sibling? It's probably you..... *sarcasm*
gc327072 31
Child, you mean? Unless… 0_O SHIT JUST GOT REAL.
oj101 33
Time of writing comment: Brain loading 99%. Use incorrect word Reading the reply: Troll brain loads 100%. OH CRAP. Good point #13. A thumbs up from me
outoftown 27
Politely ask your mom how someone could sleep around in 15 minutes. Watch her face carefully.
bb0911 4
Premature ejaculation.
kwyk 23
Maybe it tells us something about OP's dad.
Mister_Triangle 21
They don't call 'em "quickies" for nothin'