Today, my son got expelled after using the photocopier to photocopy his penis. He then used the copies to replace every directional arrow posted throughout the school. FML
Collection
Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves!
Today, I wanted to work out the volume of my penis and did so on the first piece of paper I could find on my desk. After I finished the calculations I realized that the other side of the paper was in fact my school report. It's the only copy I have. FML
Today, my son's school called to inform me that I had to come pick him up, as he was caught vandalising. What shenanigans had he gotten up to? Writing "Epstein didn't kill himself" on various desks and walls around the school. I'm not sure if I should applaud the sentiment, or be annoyed that he got caught. FML
Today, my 14 year old son got suspended and I had to pay for the damage after he sprayed "FUCK THE POLICE" on the back wall of his school. I'm a policeman. FML
Today, my son took some of my underwear to school. What's worse is he sold it to his classmate for $10. FML
Today, I discovered that my 12-year-old son has secretly been printing out and selling copies of the suggestive photos from my camera that I'd taken for my husband. He's been selling them to kids at school for a dollar each. FML
Today, I was expelled from school. By my own mother. FML
Today, my son got suspended from school. He's in kindergarten. FML
Today, I got sent to the principal's office because my Dad decided that instead of signing his name, he would sign, "Ms. Bigtits", because he wanted to make sure the teachers were paying attention to what their students handed in. FML
Today, I was called by my son's school. They said he'd been forging my signature and comments in his reading book. He didn't forge them. I don't know what's worse: my handwriting looking like a 6 year-old's, or being too cowardly to admit it. He has a week of lunch detention, but I still have my dignity. FML
Today, I was copying an assignment from my friend and was feeling confident that I was gonna pass. I later found out I copied his name too, so the teacher failed us both. He won't talk to me now. FML
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Top comments
lawls79 14
He was thinkin with the small head...
Welshite 39
Innovation. He's going places.
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Comments (305)
lawls79 14
He was thinkin with the small head...
innavoiG 9
That's actually kind of awesome.
drewcat21 0
Whichever head he was thinking with it was ******* genius!
ArielTheMermaid 17
I give him points for creativity. That's hilarious!
jfotogs 0
Gonna lie... I wouldn't even ground him based on she sheer amount of epicness your son just executed
TourettesGuyFTW 25
Yeah, what a dick!
PuggieKid 22
Who else got a good laugh out of this?
MelTheGreat 23
The small head usually gets guys in trouble.
themarshal_fml 6
62 - Are you ******** me? So It's her fault her kid did this?
CrewBoy 10
93. The smaller head usually gets me into something. Not always trouble, but it gets me in.
klovemachine 24
Awesome 104 :)
Cowboy1986 4
104 it's fun to get it in
icmandel 2
Im with 18 on this one, thats kind of awesome!!!!
Welshite 39
Innovation. He's going places.
CheeseTron 15
Indeed. Bill Gates did the same exact thing.
flockz 19
hence the name Microsoft.
UncleMuscles 5
Microsoft uses processors made out of foreskin.
j_cat187 19
Places like a jail cell?
Tezoma 28
102, I think it sounds like you're just upset because you know you could never come up with something as fantastically hilarious as OP's child.
crazytwinsmom 25
Creativity is highly valued in many professions.
ohSNAPyall 26
4 He's going places and pointing out the way.
roximomma 3
This kid is awesome!!
onlychildFTW 33
I'm surprised anyone could see it. It's probably tiny.
379_fml 11
I wanna meet this kid.
Fredds_Life 3
O.o
maronofhearts 19
Sounds like 160 is a little jealous. Being insecure is normal but attacking a kid you never met after they did something way more awesome than you ever did is going a bit too far to secure your manhood
Startled_Toenail 21
If he was underaged doesn't it count as distributing child pornography?
davymac718 4
Using his head I see
nogood9 4
I don't think the head is what he was using.
lostcrazydiamond 10
He was using his head- it was just the smaller one.
breathemein 10
Nogood9 nerds to start using his actually head if he didn't get that joke.....
Futacy 29
Waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay smaller.
P374RD3D 9
#48 You need to use some actually grammar.
BlowinChronic 18
That's not a grammar issue, she simply typed something wrong. No big deal.
maosquare 18
Well, instead of needs, she typed nerds. That is an acceptable typo. However, instead of actual, she typed actually. I don't think that is a typo.
Purplefluff 6
And definitly NOT acceptable. SHE WILL BURN IN HELL Sarcasm used by the way
hatesfate 6
Actually it takes a penis
hotPinklipstick 24
That's either pure stupidity or pure genius. Most people wouldn't have the balls to do it.
MrBond007_fml 6
Even fewer people would have the dick.
Michie1228 5
It'd depend on what kind of balls though, now wouldn't it?
melonrind 8
I would have a hard time punishing him for that... It's hilarious!
ohSNAPyall 26
By expelling him they are acknowledging that he can't top his feat. Now he has no need to. They have ensured his legacy.
Nordah 15
Make sure to let him know that not everything the Romans did was a good idea.
unknown_user5566 26
The Romans used a photocopier to make copies of their penis?
gibby1235 6
37: Nah. They had scribes for that.
Daffodilly 14
They used to draw (etch) penises around their cities. It was a sign of prosperity, similar to a graffiti peace sign.
Nordah 15
They also used it (and at times, carvings of feet) to point towards the local brothels. Happened a lot in port cities.
briteone 2
She's implying that his friends at school (Rome) probably egged him on
SMD_emilyy 1
A+ for creativity
damn_homie 2
It would have been awesome if he didn't get expelled.