Today, my 3-year-old said, "Mommy, I can share my teddy grahams with you." I said, "Thanks, honey, you're so sweet." And I ate a few. When I popped the last one in my mouth, I said, "Oh no, all gone!" She said, "That's okay, I have more." Then pulled the next handful out of her underwear. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I caught my young daughter eating candy after brushing her teeth. Angry, I asked her if she wanted all her teeth to fall out. She smiled and said, “Yes!” FML
Today, I asked my one-year-old to come and give mommy a kiss. She did and it was really sweet, until she tried to spit a piece of dog food into my mouth. FML
Today, my 3-year-old daughter came along, pointing a finger at me. I pretended to eat it by putting it in my mouth. She then said to me with disgust, "Why are you eating my booger?" Ah, that explains the saltiness… FML
Today, my two year old daughter was playing in the kitchen. I went to go have a look and she was pretend cooking. When I asked what she was making she said "look mommy, chocolate!" and stuck her finger in my mouth. It wasn't chocolate. FML
Today, I was driving in my car with my daughter, who was eating a nutri-grain bar. After a while she holds out her hand saying, "It's on my finger! I don't wanna eat it!" I pick up the little piece of nutri-grain filling and put it in my mouth, only to realize it was a large booger. FML
Today, I was sitting on the couch with my 5 year-old on my lap. All of a sudden, she turned to me and said, "Daddy, I love your boobies. They're a good pillow." My own kid just called me fat. FML
Today, I went to see my mother with my kids. Before, I had told my son to give her hugs and kisses and I would buy him candy. He did, but then he told her that I said that. FML
Today, I went grocery shopping with my toddler. At the checkout, I realized that I forgot my wallet at home. As I frantically searched my purse, my toddler shouted, "Mommy, do we need this?" and held up a box of condoms she'd grabbed from a nearby shelf. Everyone stared. FML
Today, I was babysitting a 7 year-old girl and we were eating chocolate covered nuts. She kept on chewing the nuts and wondered where the chocolate was. I told her to taste the chocolate you suck on the nuts. Then her parents came home and the first thing she said was, "I learned how to suck nuts!" FML
Today, my 5 year old swallowed her loose tooth, which she was going put under her pillow for the toothfairy. My wife then told her 'what goes in must come out'. And now everytime she does number 2, she makes me dig for her lost tooth. FML
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Top comments
amsilent 0
rofl. that's kind of cute, yet gross.
jumpgurl23 0
kids do the darndest thing
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Comments (164)
maxson_fml 0
Ahahaha! That's kinda gross though. FYL because there's really no way you could have known.
DarkPrince_fml 0
how didnt you notice that they smelled like little boy or girl privets like seriously fyl and ydi
americuzz 8
ummm how do u know what little kids private parts smell like?? besides I'm sure the op did not smell the snacks. if u smell ur food and say " hmmm this smell like 3-year-old private parts... with a hint of lilac" then she had no way of knowing. FYL OP
ARScratch 0
Only cute when Tommy pickles pulls the screwdriver out his diaper.
JojoChuo 8
Lol he Rugrats are amazing!
Overseer211 1
Little boys and girls don't accumulate genital sweat as much as us dude. They wud smell perfectly fine.
chelseaaababyyy 17
this is a really awkward conversation. i dont think anyone besides a pediatrician should know that lol
amsilent 0
rofl. that's kind of cute, yet gross.
Edwinadii 4
Gross if she shat her self..... This just cute :P
the_boss_fml 0
fyl. that is ******* disgusting
somaturee 0
FYL. That made me gag.
Kennzz 0
why would it make you gag? The kid is 3.. it's not like she's already has bodily fluid an things of the such down there. Unless she peed a little.. that's a little gross. lol
stoneYa 8
Realllllllyyyy? You r disgusting!
jumpgurl23 0
kids do the darndest thing
Cheatx 0
It sounds like shes gonna grow up to be a 2girlsonecup kind of girl.
Copernicus_fml 3
lol. that's nasty
Shunnabunich 2
Hey, just think, in 20 years or so there'll be guys who would pay good money for her to keep doing that. :P
TheUnnamedOne 0
Oh god thats horrible XD
retroblonde97 8
More like 10 years based on current social norms :/
chickenfeetyum 0
ooooh children :) but I really don't think this is an fml because I think all parents have to go through some gross stunt like this..kids are silly :)
wearinsexypants 0
Well if you are a good parent, her undies and what's under them are clean. I bet you ate stuff out of your underwear when you were a kid too.
redbluegreen 41
Haha. But am I the only one who has friends who also hide things in their underwear? Cell phones, money, the occasional (still wrapped) candy bar... It's the most personal and convenient pocket you can get. Okay, but still, kinda gross. Hopefully she's was clean, and I wouldn't be too surprised if you did this too as a kid.