Kids: Today, my 3-year-old said, "Mommy, I can share my teddy grahams...

By chelserusera - 14/05/2009 01:45 - United States

Today, my 3-year-old said, "Mommy, I can share my teddy grahams with you." I said, "Thanks, honey, you're so sweet." And I ate a few. When I popped the last one in my mouth, I said, "Oh no, all gone!" She said, "That's okay, I have more." Then pulled the next handful out of her underwear. FML

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May Day: Lily of the Valley and Misunderstandings
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Same thing different taste

Gummy

By madeleine - 08/04/2021 05:00

Today, I caught my young daughter eating candy after brushing her teeth. Angry, I asked her if she wanted all her teeth to fall out. She smiled and said, “Yes!” FML

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By gross - 06/08/2015 17:28 - United States

Today, I asked my one-year-old to come and give mommy a kiss. She did and it was really sweet, until she tried to spit a piece of dog food into my mouth. FML

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By ManchotDesAndes - 26/02/2015 07:35 - France - Bezons

Today, my 3-year-old daughter came along, pointing a finger at me. I pretended to eat it by putting it in my mouth. She then said to me with disgust, "Why are you eating my booger?" Ah, that explains the saltiness… FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 298

You deserved it 11 164

By Lisaa918 - 10/06/2009 14:49 - United States

Today, my two year old daughter was playing in the kitchen. I went to go have a look and she was pretend cooking. When I asked what she was making she said "look mommy, chocolate!" and stuck her finger in my mouth. It wasn't chocolate. FML

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By nutrigrain123 - 23/05/2009 18:10 - United States

Today, I was driving in my car with my daughter, who was eating a nutri-grain bar. After a while she holds out her hand saying, "It's on my finger! I don't wanna eat it!" I pick up the little piece of nutri-grain filling and put it in my mouth, only to realize it was a large booger. FML

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Nice of her

By Bill - 06/12/2009 20:28 - United States

Today, I was sitting on the couch with my 5 year-old on my lap. All of a sudden, she turned to me and said, "Daddy, I love your boobies. They're a good pillow." My own kid just called me fat. FML

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By laughxlove - 23/08/2010 04:03 - United States

Today, I went to see my mother with my kids. Before, I had told my son to give her hugs and kisses and I would buy him candy. He did, but then he told her that I said that. FML

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By nutsucker - 08/03/2009 19:08 - United States

Today, I was babysitting a 7 year old girl and we were eating chocolate covered nuts. She kept on chewing the nuts and wondered where the chocolate was. I told her to taste the chocolate you suck on the nuts. Then her parents came home and the first thing she said was "I learned how to suck nuts!" FML

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By shoelace18 - 06/09/2009 04:19 - Canada

Today, my 5 year old swallowed her loose tooth, which she was going put under her pillow for the toothfairy. My wife then told her 'what goes in must come out'. And now everytime she does number 2, she makes me dig for her lost tooth. FML

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By Fatty1970 - 23/05/2011 01:33 - United States

Today, I told my kids that our family dog was getting too fat and we should give him a little less food. My youngest daughter whispered to her sister, "Mommy's fat and we still give her food." FML

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You deserved it 19 826

amsilent 0

Thursday 14 May 2009 10:39

rofl. that's kind of cute, yet gross.

jumpgurl23 0

Thursday 14 May 2009 10:46

kids do the darndest thing

Comments

Dogmaw 0

Thursday 14 May 2009 17:24

That is THE funniest friggin' thing I have heard in WEEKS.

I2OI3 0

Thursday 14 May 2009 17:36

TAKE MY ADVICE AND GO GET YOUR BLOOD TESTED FOR STD'S - I'VE HEARD THIS STORY BEFORE AND IT DOES NOT HAVE A HAPPY ENDING. ONE MINUTE YOU'RE SHARING SOME SWEET TREATS FROM THE UNDEROOS OF AN INNOCENT LOOKING 3 YEAR OLD, NEXT THING YOU KNOW YOU'VE GOT THE HERPES.

jillz 0

Thursday 14 May 2009 17:36

By the gods! That's gross. Time to get her some pants with pockets and hype those up big time, or maybe a little carrying pouch or something. Yeah .. (/gag) FYL

Krytikal 0

Thursday 14 May 2009 17:42

**** yeah, nice and steamy.

Wef 0

Thursday 14 May 2009 18:01

Can't wait to have kids.

rockabyejamie 0

Thursday 14 May 2009 18:10

like Tommy from the rugrats (:

666midnight 0

Thursday 14 May 2009 18:27

Storing them for winter maybe? lol

j1026 0

Thursday 14 May 2009 18:35

Hahaha that's funny in a way. Well at least if you shower your daughter regularly you know she is semi clean down there but wow FYL!

dancin303 0

Thursday 14 May 2009 19:00

guys i doubt she stuck them all the way down there. it was prob just under the elastic band which should be too gross. but still fyl try to teach your child not to do that in a nice way