Today, my husband and I were in bed, and just as I was about to finish he screamed, "Oh shit! It's 4:15, my strawberries are gonna whither!!!!" and then jumped off me and went to check on his farm on FarmVille. An imaginary farm, on Facebook. FML
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Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves!
Today, my husband and I were in bed when the alarm on his phone went off. He then told me that he had to 'sound the horn' and went over to his laptop. Wondering what that meant, I peered over at his laptop. It turns out hunting for mice on Facebook is more important than procreating. FML
Today, my husband and I were getting intimate when a notification for a game popped up on his iPad. He immediately shoved me aside so he could take care of his baby dragon. FML
Today, I found out the best way to communicate with my boyfriend, who is obsessed with Farmville, is by placing a "sign post" on his farm. Not sending texts, emails, or calling, but by placing a message on his imaginary farm. FML
Today, I received frantic calls and messages from my husband wondering where I was and if I was cheating on him. I was in the same house as him. FML
Today, I was playing a game on my boyfriend's phone when he got a text from a girl saying, "Last night was so fun." When I asked him about it, he panicked and said, "We were hunting Bigfoot." FML
Today, I felt frisky, so I did my hair and put on make-up and some lingerie. I walked into the living room, where my husband was playing a video game. He glanced up, said, "Oh, for fuck's sake." and made me wait nearly 15 minutes for him to reach a save-game point. FML
Today, my husband tried to be romantic by throwing me in a bed laid with roses. Too bad he forgot to remove the thorns first. FML
Today, after a rough night, my husband's alarms started going off at 5 a.m. All 4 of them. Old town road, the Skyrim theme, that lady yelling, "I got shit to do today" and bagpipes. I'm awake. He's not. FML
Today, I handed my friend a $50. I paid her to take care of my farm on Farmville, feed my fish on Fishville, and flip my burgers on Cafe World, while I went on vacation for a week. FML
Today, after working the night shift, I accidentally left my iPod at the office. I woke up later and went on Facebook. To my dismay, I saw some coworker had posted stuff on my wall, such as, "I really have to take a shit!" and "Yes, my tits are real!" FML
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Top comments
lolatflyingducks 0
Clearly, you have never played Farmville.
chadhilliard67 0
haha, lets hope his strawberrys didnt whither
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Comments (287)
lolatflyingducks 0
Clearly, you have never played Farmville.
raNDMGUy 5
omfg, words cannot express how much i fricking hate farmville, its so retarded i dont know why teenagers, let alone adults want to play it
dienda 0
LOL agree.
Gothere 0
This is an awesome site you can post your secrets or fears, all right here!: http://trynot2click-this.yolasite.com/
silvermoonstar3 3
ROFLMAO! I totally get it, though. I play (Lil) Farm Life, which seems to be the exact same app. adding real life rainforest saving. If the sex was kind of 'meh' and I was about to lose a whole day's worth of crops or so, I might do the same thing... I'm not sure.
alijacket 0
LOL, seriously. I've been playing the damn game for a month now and it's gotten ridiculous. My friends stop mid-conversation to go deal with their farms, lol.
ashole1990 10
because farmville is ****** fun. not more important than sex though
fmlfmlfml15 0
Ugh, I stayed over my friends house and watched her play that stupid game for an hour. It's completely pointless and a waste of time. But how come lately most of these FMLs have been about the OP being in the middle of having sex with her BF/husband and then he does something out of the ordinary, leaving the OP think "WTF?"
The_Chuck_Norris 0
Chuck Norris Loves His Farmville :D
pteresadactyl 0
omfg i love farmville! id probably do that too. haha
Jake221 0
ROFL I
humorizer 14
I thought strawberries are only an eight hour crop? Why would it matter if that's all you lose?
SilverBallet 0
Strawberries are a 4-hour crop. I think it's just a matter of not wanting to lose something, maybe. Also, people have different preferences, #18. Open your eyes.
epiclove 0
obviously u havent played it or farm town! omg loltastic
remademistakes 0
If the sex sucks....I'd definitely go harvest my farm. Speaking of...gotta go check my watermelons.
rockmyworld 0
none of those apps add rainforest ground.. yeah, i had a friend with the same problem. only she was harvesting her potatoes on vacation with her guy :D hahah, this made me laugh outloud tho
tenkenshi 2
Farmville is nice but Farm Town is a little better because you can hire underlings to do your harvesting and farming for you.
ayejay2009 0
LMAO ITA!!! i lovvvvve farmville!!! LOL
ChocolatexGames 0
dude i know right! a ton of my friends send me invite for that and im like "WHO WANTS TO PLAY THIS SHIT" play Harvest Moon. and sorry to all who like it...
Georgia795 0
#34, I agree. I ******* hate it so much.
lax2319 0
NO #18 YOU ARE SO WRONG. FARMVILLE IS THE BEST THING TO EVER HAPPEN TO FACEBOOK.
KittenOnAcid 1
sooo....wtf is farmville??
nrgeer 0
LMAO.. I have to say, I have that app added on facebook.. I absolutely love Farmville, hahaha.. It's amazing, and this post had me laughing my ass off...
NickAlert 1
Youre a moron. Strawberries are 4 hour crops
beccaboo23 0
hahaha i love farmville. i actually did the same hting to my boyfriend... opps =p
Scorpitarrius 0
175: Hell yes. Harvest moon is the shit. That's why I don't play Farmville, cuz all it is is an imitation. Either way, FYL cuz she doesn't have her priorities straight. She's gonna make YOUR berries wither :/
Scaramanga_fml 0
Cause if you invest 1,000's of coins into 144 patches of strawberries you could loose all of your money. If they die.
c_r_a_p 0
My mom is addicted, we were driving to church and there were some plowwed fields and she said, "Everything reminds me of FarmVille"
jules_gd 2
#206... so he's a moron... because.. he didn't know that strawberry's are 4-hour-crops.. and not 8-hour-ones? so you think, that's, like, a really essential information for his further life? get over it. gosh, farmville sucks. i hate farmville. ugh.
kris12k4 7
lol fyl
Cupcakeshizz 0
#175 harvest moon FTW
i_wuz_nver_here 31
omigod I luv ferbies. except mine went insane and every time I turn it on it starts screaming.
chadhilliard67 0
haha, lets hope his strawberrys didnt whither
youaresofucked 0
PLAY MAFIA WARS INSTEAD! LOLz
Feklfekl2222 32
He deserves it no self respecting farmviller would plant strawberries before bed that is farming suicide
ddlovatolover 23
*wither Sorry, I had to.
untalented1 0
oh sh*t, you just reminded me about my strawberries.
mercedeslove 0
me too, I was all ooohh my super berries
sguitaradam 5
superberries were awesome! i made like 10,000 coins from them today!
funplex 0
Anyone who is THAT addicted to Facebook needs a better life.
mirkapepp 0
Yes sir!
iluvmtrench 0
^Ma'am*
fearinabottle 0
i love that app.
velocraptor 0
LOL my little brother plays that game. He is 8.
rastafox 0
any man that will stop having sex for imaginary strawberries is a little off farmville, however fun, does not top sex
crazy_cat_lady24 0
I've never understood stories like these. Are they real? Are there really people who stop during sex to go watch a tv program, or play a video game? I just can't imagine someone could 1. be so disinterested in sex, and 2. be so incredibly rude. Who puts aside their partner like that?! It's a person, not a toy! I truly can not wrap my head around this one.
Mirage749 0
To be fair, FarmVille is an incredibly addicting game.
acd23 0
I prefer Farm Town, but that may be because it's the one that both my sister and mom play too. (it's our "family" time, we hire each other for our farms, hahah) I'm not sure exactly how FarmVille works, but in Farm Town, crops don't wither if you don't harvest them immediately. I had peppers ready to harvest this morning but didn't get around to harvesting them until this afternoon, roughly 8 hours later. Correct me if this isn't the case with FarmVille, but I think he's being an over-cautious farmer, along with the fact that he stopped having sex with his wife to make sure they were okay. And really, who plants a crop so that it's going to be ready at 4:15 in the morning??
JanisEvans 10
I'm not sure which one is more sad, that you describe playing FarmTown as your 'family time', or that your life is so empty that you can get yourself to write so much about this stupid game...
acd23 0
Hmm, I'd go with the one where I have so much time to describe the game, personally. Trust me, it's not the only "family time" I have, but it's a joke my family has since we all play it. But I do have a tendency to type a lot, sorry if that worried you about my quality of life. My life isn't "empty," I just have nothing better to do with my time at the moment. Besides, I've seen much longer comments on this site, about sadder things.
littlegolferboy 4
Crops take the same amount of time to go bad as they do to grow, so it probably wouldn't be anything shorter than 4 hours. A more likely explanation is that the OP herself was probably playing the game and thought to herself "I remember that FML about the guy leaving his wife while having sex to play MouseHunt, so one about Farmville would be just as good!" And that brings us to this waste of bytes sitting on a hard drive platter in some server farm.
Scaramanga_fml 0
You need to make a lot of money when you first start your game so you have to plant stuff 24/7.
rastafox 0
any man that will stop having sex for imaginary strawberries is a little off farmville, however fun, does not top sex
van2010 0
Get him started and just as he is about to finish, STOP! Then u can watch him whither.
tWitt3rBuG 0
#11 FTW (: