Today, I walked in on my husband in our room completely naked. At first I thought he was waiting for me so we could have sex. He hadn't seen me yet, so I started to undress too to surprise him. Then I saw that he had drawn a face on his penis and he was talking to it. FML
I agree, your life sucks (53369) - you totally deserved it (3426)
On 08/18/2009 at 1:37am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)
Too many negative votes, comment buried. Show the comment.
first
#1 - On 08/18/2009 at 11:19am by strawberry1234
he sounds like a fun guy B) i dont see why this is an FML
#10 - On 08/18/2009 at 11:22am by Lolbrittany
that's not an FML, that's cute! my boyfriend and i both talk to his penis, your husband just went the extra mile. XD
#45 - On 08/18/2009 at 1:01pm by diet_otaku
Hello there, Richard. We hear you're going to go spend the night your girlfriend, miss Pusé. Is that true? Oh, how scandalous~!
#59 - On 08/18/2009 at 2:11pm by DameGreyWulf
*roars with laughter*
Best comment ever, DameGreyWulf XD
#68 - On 08/18/2009 at 2:35pm by judgeymcjudge
Damegreywulf, something tells me that if we lived in the same area, we would be very good friends!! :)
#72 - On 08/18/2009 at 2:56pm by doubleAbattery
ima get YOUR NAME tattooed on the side of my dick
then ima walk up to some fucking hot girl n say,"i bet you i have your name tattooed on my dick. and if i do you have to suck it."
#155 - On 09/08/2009 at 9:50pm by deathmajestic
so what! he was simple having some sexual fun whilst you was away, coz lets face it, drawing on your cock is much more enjoyable than anything a woman does in the bedroom
If that's actually the case for you, you're doing it wrong.
#37 - On 08/18/2009 at 12:19pm by o0ginger0o
So I'm guessing you're a virgin right? Must be pretty lonely if talking to your dick is the most action you get...
I'm sorry, I'm not seeing how this is "ew." I'm laughing too damn hard.
#7 - On 08/18/2009 at 11:21am by Violet_Illuser
wow when u wrote "drawn" i though you ment like he brought a face, as in a girl. but then i got it the second time lol dude he has issues.
pls don't generalize all men based on one retard's actions. though i'm not sure how many guys will try this today. :D
#29 - On 08/18/2009 at 12:05pm by dreamchaser
oh, i am so doing this now! thats why i tell people i got a huge gesture angel tattooed on my back, so i can talk to it...haha....no imma start talking to my wienner.....hopefully i remember not to use a sharpie... =)
I'm laughing too much to see how this is an FML. So your boyfriend is weird, whatever.
#12 - On 08/18/2009 at 11:26am by friday13thbaby
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YDI for having a husband that talks to his 2 inch penis..
BiTCH...
#18 - On 08/18/2009 at 11:31am by amstillives
The naked Man, It does work. Anyone seen that episode of "How i Met Your Mother" Man thats too funny.
#20 - On 08/18/2009 at 11:32am by sumdoode123
that's hilarious i would definitely give it a try... why not right?
#22 - On 08/18/2009 at 11:37am by Juggalokid420
OK I think I know where this is going( cue "bow-chicka-wowa music"). He the proceeded to choke Junior till he cried, right?
How is this an FML...If you guys did have sex? You get oral sex and regular sex at the same time...
#33 - On 08/18/2009 at 12:10pm by evangldbrg
I am fairly certain that about 3/4 boys who just read this picked up the nearest pen and went to town downstairs.
#39 - On 08/18/2009 at 12:34pm by judgeymcjudge
If you don't want to deal with shit like that, you should probably try dating other women.
#42 - On 08/18/2009 at 12:54pm by AmpulexCompressa
you should tell his friend to find your's...she's hiding...
#53 - On 08/18/2009 at 1:47pm by _THE_MASTER_
plexico how many comments you need to post?
anyways prob your husband need some friends or he likes puppets?
This is more like a "I'm glad my husband isn't a boring uptight fuck" than an FML.
#61 - On 08/18/2009 at 2:14pm by FordPrefect
Ive had someone walk in on me before ,we had a party at our house and i was in my room started to masturbate my sisters friend walks in drunk passes out on the floor (making loud noise) i ignore it continue then i stand up to finish off and then 5 people bust in the door to which i paniced and jerked away from them came all over the passed out girl slipped fell on her then she came to her senses to find me on top of her naked dick on her stomach with my sperm on her face so she punched me and kicked me in my bare balls and put a death grip on my cock.everyone picked me up after being knocked out drug me in the hallway and wrote all over my penis .the next morning i woke up naked in a guys bed we were cuddled and naked i had an erection
If that's true FYL, but I honestly believe that's made up.
@ OP: I'm sorry, but that's hilarious. Let them man have some fun when you're away :P
#82 - On 08/18/2009 at 4:12pm by Renan
HA HA HA i didn't thing guys actually drew faces on their penis. I mean, yeah, it's quite normal to talk to them, but really a face??
Not a FML, but ridiculously amusing.
#85 - On 08/18/2009 at 4:32pm by arsewipe92
Was he pretending it was Danny Aiello?
Peter: Ooh, that is so interesting, Danny Aiello. You've got the best Spike Lee stories. What's that? You want to meet my wife?
Lois: Peter, stop it.
Peter: Lois, just say hello; you're embarrassing me in front of Danny Aiello.
Oh God that movie traumatized me haha.
To the OP...well I bet he was having an interesting conversation.
#153 - On 08/30/2009 at 3:37pm by feed_the_ducks
lol... well, I'm guessing the conversation went like this: well hello there, Mr. Cock. I hear you're going to spend the night in a deep dark cave tonight. remember to put on your coat! ;)
Lol my boyfriend did the same thing the other week and started pinching the head to make it talk, it was quite funny tbh
#93 - On 08/18/2009 at 5:35pm by epanssereves
We all do that... sometimes we dress it up with doll clothes and use em to wrestle with our friends'
Well. That's awkward. Not really a FML. I wouldn't say your life is fucked. But yeah. Awwwwwwkward.
#97 - On 08/18/2009 at 6:27pm by damnablefate
Ow wow, that's hilarious as well as really awkward. Though at the same time, just because your husband is naked doesn't mean he's waiting to have sex with you - he could've been getting in/out of the shower is all...
I think you should repay him the favour by sticking googly eyes on your....self.
#98 - On 08/18/2009 at 6:46pm by Procrastinateher
Lmao if i had a dick I'd do that before my SO walked in the room, too
#101 - On 08/18/2009 at 7:43pm by waterynuggets
wow super funny that he drew a face on it. but you need to get him checked out for some weird dependancy
#105 - On 08/18/2009 at 8:29pm by Paige_Nicole10
that's definitely a little weird, but i think it's a FHisLife for his wife seeing that. you now have blackmail. :)
#108 - On 08/18/2009 at 9:08pm by triplethreat13
For some reason I read it as "he had drawn a penis on his face and he was talking to it".
#113 - On 08/18/2009 at 9:41pm by airplanefood
YDI for not walking over and "talking" to his penis. Now if he turned you down by having his penis say "no" I'd give you a huge FYL, but not for this. Quit embarrassing Texas with this nonsense.
I agree. Maybe the reason he was talking to his penis was because it was lonely and wanted some "attention".
#142 - On 08/20/2009 at 11:29pm by qwerty123456789
thats scary! lol. And something even more scary is if the little face puked!! ahhaahhhhhahahahahhahhhahah lmfgdao
#131 - On 08/19/2009 at 4:21pm by Nightmare1
that is so fucking hilarious! if i was married or saw my boyfriend doing that, i would just laugh at him. lololol.
#133 - On 08/19/2009 at 6:00pm by tangerine_12
what a wonderful, wonderful human being that man is... im jealous
#137 - On 08/20/2009 at 3:58am by Bittchhammer
maybe he was just lonely, and he was consoling his penis because it missed you too?
he sounds like a good laugh. i'd hate to see him when he's drunk though, or stoned... argh. the mind-bendingness of his mind D:
#144 - On 08/21/2009 at 11:30am by BrEnNo1023
I guess he's Peter his dicks danny aiello..you should walked up with a face drawn on ur pussy and said "hey there young fella ya like Popsicles!? Wanna come inside for a cupcake and a glass
of wine? Mmmm"
#145 - On 08/22/2009 at 1:26am by wowyoufail
This comment makes me think of how my boobs look like eyes, my bellybutton looks like a mouth, and my bush looks like a beard.
I literally ROFL'd when I read this weird ass shit!...
#160 - On 01/15/2010 at 10:55pm by Kellmaster36
holy fuck I love your husband! hahahahah, that made my day:) that's the funniest thing I have ever heard.
#162 - On 02/04/2010 at 1:36am by samantha_durano
