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Today, my mom came into my room to have a heart to heart talk. My dildo was sitting on the nightstand. I didn't notice until she told me to make sure the dog didn't get it. FML

I agree, your life sucks (7629) - you totally deserved it (31365) - moderated and selected by the Jackass crew

On 07/30/2009 at 8:02am - intimacy - by BrokenVow (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

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Comments

Haha how awkward... FYL

#1 - On 07/30/2009 at 2:21pm by kittykatt

i moderated this one, and i clicked no

#46 - On 07/30/2009 at 10:18pm by eggnogg

YDI, You really should put those away when you're done.

#2 - On 07/30/2009 at 2:22pm by Silent_Harmony

Did your mom then ask to use it?

#65 - On 02/27/2010 at 4:36pm by Lordlucian

Way to go, genius. YDI

#3 - On 07/30/2009 at 2:22pm by Aerostella

yeah dont give it to the dog

#4 - On 07/30/2009 at 2:23pm by Imawhalerider

You didn't put it away? YDI

It's weird that she thought of the dog as she caught sight of that plastic cock. Maybe best left undiscussed.

#5 - On 07/30/2009 at 2:24pm by bobbassguy

girls suck. why would you use a dildo?

#6 - On 07/30/2009 at 2:27pm by boysxrulex09

Why wouldn't they? Us guys jerk it every now and again even if we have girlfriends/wives.

#11 - On 07/30/2009 at 2:48pm by nomadxx7

What else would you suggest they use? It's a whole lot safer then having sex with a boy or using food, toothbrushes, etc.

I am neutral on this. It isn't a FYL or YDI. Awkward yes, but at least you have a mom that understands a woman's needs.

#12 - On 07/30/2009 at 2:49pm by LockonStratos

Isn't there a bridge you should be guarding?

#14 - On 07/30/2009 at 3:05pm by bexox

#14 you are awesome

#24 - On 07/30/2009 at 3:55pm by sublime93

why would you leave it out??

#7 - On 07/30/2009 at 2:30pm by lizzy3367

Rubber*

#8 - On 07/30/2009 at 2:34pm by Sketch_y

Wow, that is incredibly awkward. At least she was cool about it? :D

#9 - On 07/30/2009 at 2:36pm by Tarynkd

you have a funny mom but thats awkward

#10 - On 07/30/2009 at 2:41pm by volleyballgirl16

At least your mom didn't mind.
YDI for leaving it in plain view though.

#13 - On 07/30/2009 at 2:52pm by moleSG

good job

#15 - On 07/30/2009 at 3:14pm by britt_babe

If someone like you is attached to it, that's really not better at all.

#50 - On 07/31/2009 at 4:31am by Vanita

Hahaha, that's hilarious! Maybe she wanted to use it later

#16 - On 07/30/2009 at 3:19pm by danielbudzynski

i don't get it...why is this an fml? did you borrow your mom's dildo or something?

#18 - On 07/30/2009 at 3:23pm by Nenor

I like turtles. Donatello is my favorite.

#19 - On 07/30/2009 at 3:28pm by Shizden

Mine is Raphael

#34 - On 07/30/2009 at 4:38pm by FreddyLunch

You're lucky. My mom would beat me with it.

#20 - On 07/30/2009 at 3:45pm by ohheykiwi

Thank you for giving me the best mental image ever XD

#38 - On 07/30/2009 at 4:54pm by HailSatan

umm thats not acward at all.... (sorry idk how to spell it)

#21 - On 07/30/2009 at 3:54pm by xxlillyxx

Yes -- Get the dog her own dildo.

#22 - On 07/30/2009 at 3:54pm by mercyFML

Or share with it.

#25 - On 07/30/2009 at 4:04pm by allmidnighteyes

Awkward, but it seems like your mother doesn't mind so much...

#23 - On 07/30/2009 at 3:54pm by Victoria

mom has a history of dildos turning into chew toys for ole fido? lol still sucks though

#26 - On 07/30/2009 at 4:09pm by monoxide

sounds like ur mom has experienced the dog playin with someone else' toys

#27 - On 07/30/2009 at 4:10pm by enycel

go find a real cock u can hav mine if u want lol

#28 - On 07/30/2009 at 4:27pm by bigbossbadass

Forreal #28 fck a toy mess with a boy! LoL there isn't anything better then the real thing. And i know how to work it =P

#30 - On 07/30/2009 at 4:29pm by ithedarkknight

hot

#29 - On 07/30/2009 at 4:28pm by fmh123

your mom is kinda like mine!

#31 - On 07/30/2009 at 4:32pm by deathxlipgloss

LMAO, could've been worse, could've been an opened pack of condoms.

#32 - On 07/30/2009 at 4:35pm by gothymama

If its double sided, maybe she wanted to go ass to ass....

#33 - On 07/30/2009 at 4:37pm by donkey_hang_down

thats sick

#44 - On 07/30/2009 at 7:36pm by HollyAnne

what a heart to heart talk! =))

#35 - On 07/30/2009 at 4:43pm by luva1s

Hahaha, that's hilarious, but don't worry, that's hot you have a dildo. I don't have one, but still, I don't think it's much to be embarrassed about.

#36 - On 07/30/2009 at 4:43pm by Shlizabeth

Listen to your mother, she probably knows about the dog from experience.

#37 - On 07/30/2009 at 4:49pm by tenkenshi

cool mom, I hope it was clean, maybe it wasn't so she made the dog comment cause he would smell it.. eeewwwwww

#39 - On 07/30/2009 at 5:00pm by Einstein714

cant get any?

#41 - On 07/30/2009 at 6:39pm by Lmao_xD

Wow, that's awkward. At least your mom didn't flip out.

#42 - On 07/30/2009 at 6:54pm by mrl

Way to go EH!!
But your mom sounds cool.

#43 - On 07/30/2009 at 6:59pm by birman

How do daughters ( living with mom so I assume teen) get dildos without mom knowing ?

#45 - On 07/30/2009 at 8:01pm by Gotphu

how do i get a bong without my mom knowing, huh?

#47 - On 07/30/2009 at 10:19pm by eggnogg

ydi for having a dildo.

#48 - On 07/31/2009 at 2:25am by cmac86

YDI for leaving it out.

#49 - On 07/31/2009 at 3:26am by michiness

Hahaa!! That sucks id be like omfg wow this is weird if i were a girl..

#51 - On 07/31/2009 at 10:21am by Hollister245

This isn't an FML. Obviously your mom didn't care otherwise she would have said something sooner. Who cares?

#52 - On 07/31/2009 at 11:33am by kitkat101

Dildo`s are hot :) Be more careful about using it in the future :P

#53 - On 07/31/2009 at 7:48pm by jessikaaahhh

At least your mom's cool about it. There's nothing wrong with your mom know that kind of stuff about you.

#54 - On 07/31/2009 at 9:38pm by omgitsLindsay

At least you wern't using it at the moment she walked in =D Funny mental picture LOL

#55 - On 07/31/2009 at 11:51pm by rubenrox

well at least ur mom just said that...but i prefer the real deal over the dildo.

#56 - On 08/01/2009 at 2:37am by nylmak

at least she didn't freak out....lol my mom would've killed me

#57 - On 08/01/2009 at 2:38am by yuki1990

uhh. i feel like such a retard, but i speak for others as i say this. what the hell is a dildo?

#58 - On 08/02/2009 at 11:54pm by screwedd

Its a fake penis so girls can jerk off without using a guy.

Also known as "viberators"

#60 - On 08/05/2009 at 5:44am by cheeter

a dildo is a fake penis

#59 - On 08/03/2009 at 3:16am by FYOURLIFE13

Why is your life fucked? It would be more fucked if your dog got to it.

#61 - On 08/28/2009 at 9:12pm by dvs01

lol! this isnt an fml. at least she didnt give you shit about it and was actually concerned enough to tell you not to let the dog get it.

#62 - On 09/10/2009 at 8:24pm by xoxcinderellaxox

haha least she was cool with it

#63 - On 10/03/2009 at 10:51pm by romanalcocer

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