Today, I texted my boyfriend of 6 months saying that I was in the mood, and that I was in bed, and naked. He texted back saying "U got fingers, use them, im going to bed xoxo". FML
I agree, your life sucks (90426) - you totally deserved it (22269)
On 03/17/2009 at 1:06am - intimacy - by princess (woman) - Canada (Quebec)
So he couldn't be arsed to have phone sex? So what? Usually it takes a long time and the guy could have brought himself to orgasm at least twice by the time the dirty talk turns the women on enough to climax. I see no FML here. More like FMF (fuck my fingers).
Buy a vibrator.
On a side note it's really his loss. Phone sex can be very hot. :)
specialy if you have a ugly gf that why you don't have to see her face you can just think of another girl.
#177 - On 02/10/2010 at 11:50pm by TWSSMoment
next time do the same to him when he asked for one "you got hands. use them. btw, unlike you, my fingers are fast learners."
he's probably just tired. i mean he'd have to get ready, go to your place.. etc etc.. such a hassle.
Whether you deserved this depends on what time of day you texted him. If it was anything before 10AM or after 10PM, his response is understandable.
#7 - On 03/17/2009 at 11:18am by shorgenfunkel
He opted for something other than sex ONE TIME and you flip out? Besides, if it's a text, he clearly wasn't in the same area, so fuck you for expecting him to sprint over at your beck and call. Unless you provide the same service for him, which somehow I doubt.
#8 - On 03/17/2009 at 11:20am by HomeBurger
So your boyfriend wasn't in the mood for sex one day? I don't see what's so bad about that. No one is in the mood 100% of the time.
#9 - On 03/17/2009 at 11:21am by abouttofly
Well, if this was late at night, you can't just expect him to get back out of bed and go to your place. Sex is great, but you can't expect the dude to drop everything he's doing just because you're in the mood. I wouldn't expect that of any girl I date. Then again, there's no details here so no room to make assumptions.
shut the fuck up youve never been laid if a girl says that to me im there in a second, like really why are you so serious its fuckin fml.
go back to canada, get out of my united states.
#168 - On 09/12/2009 at 12:11am by IHateTheBritish
I agree with the general responses here. My ex did that to me once. I just told her to fuck off cause it was 3 am.
#11 - On 03/17/2009 at 11:23am by CodyGuitarist
No guy is in the mood 24/7. Women refuse sex from time to time, why don't you think that men would do the same?
#16 - On 03/17/2009 at 11:44am by Callyn
My boyfriend sometimes wants to have sex, and I say no, so why shouldn't it be the same the other way around? I'm sure you don't want it ALL the time.
That's funny though.
lmmfao! i dont think your life is f****d but it's pretty damn bad....
#20 - On 03/17/2009 at 12:05pm by HipHop_Fiend
i'd definitely rather sleep than get someone else off haha
#22 - On 03/17/2009 at 12:13pm by vonstrangle
Buy a vibrator and stop expecting your man to be in the mood every time you are when you know the reverse sure as hell isn't true.
You probably shouldn't have expected him to come over but at least expected phone sex for a few minutes...the next time 3 or 4 times that you guys are doing anything stop a minute or two before he has to come (when he says its going to be close) then tell him he has hands and point him to the bathroom.
#29 - On 03/17/2009 at 12:46pm by allstarplayer324
You can also remind him of the versatility of his hands and that he can test them out while he finds a new girlfriend. What an ass!
#30 - On 03/17/2009 at 12:57pm by JuJuBeeSunshine
She was horny, she thought she would be a tad kinky and text her boyfriend. She probably expected a response like "man i wish I could join you" or SOMETHING that indicated he was turned on even the slightest bit. Instead, he turned her down which made her feel stupid which makes this an FML.
#31 - On 03/17/2009 at 12:58pm by simplysmile
LOL. invest in a toy. they keep goin and goin until u turn the power off...which is more than i can say about any guy =]
Agreed with #31.
She wasn't necessarily expecting the dude to drive over instantly, but his reply was cold. My bf would totally say something like that, which is why I don't even bother with those texts anymore :/
agreed with #31. all of you need to calm down. the worst part is that he responded like a dick, not that he didn't want to have sex for once.
Time for a new boyfriend! Anyone knows masturbation with fingers is NOT the same as intercourse with a partner.
well dont assume men are always ready to have sex thats just a sterotype not a fact sweetie, there is no FLM here just ignorant people
#44 - On 03/17/2009 at 2:08pm by Sinisterwolf89
I dont no what all these guys were talking about. If I was him and my girlfriend texted me that I would rush out the door and be on my way.
Not everyone's schedule revolves around you, OP. Some of us have to get up early tomorrow. We aren't just going to drop everything just because you're in the mood.
#53 - On 03/17/2009 at 3:06pm by arms_akimbo
#29: "stop a minute or two before he has to come (when he says its going to be close) then tell him he has hands and point him to the bathroom."
^ ^
Now, that isn't even a suitable "revenge" for the boyfriend not being able to drop what he's doing or not sleep because she's in the mood. That, my friend, is a real bitch move. Just stopping in the middle of sex and telling him to finish himself? For what, revenge because he wasn't able to answer your beck and call? If a girl ever did that to me, instead of going to the bathroom, I would get dressed, walk out and never speak to her again. Then again, I would never just go "Hey, get over here, bitch. I'm horny." Maybe I'm just a little less concerned about myself and more interested in keeping other people happy.
hahahah my boyfriend does shit like this.
get over it though, you really DO have fingers.
#56 - On 03/17/2009 at 3:44pm by liveitlearnit
@ #37, 6 months? You don't have to be hoe, but how old are we again? This isn't high school. "True love" isn't waiting anymore.
@ #43, you're right; it isn't the same. It sometimes is better.
#57 - On 03/17/2009 at 3:55pm by JuJuBeeSunshine
I see. When a woman doesn't want sex, that's fine./ When a guy doesn't want it, it's completely and totally unfathomable as if that could never possibly happen.
Judging from the way you think he should have dropped everything and gone running, I can't say I blame him for not wanting to go to you...
#61 - On 03/17/2009 at 4:08pm by Nemephosis
she was just posting cause she was pissed.
i'm sure she was expeacting him to come over...
but maybee just even text back somthing better than that.
#67 - On 03/17/2009 at 5:12pm by peaceouthomie
A girl turns down sex, and the guy is supposed to not care. A guy turns down sex and all the sudden its FML.
CHOPPEDandSKREWED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
lol i love how he added "xoxo"
#69 - On 03/17/2009 at 5:36pm by choppedNskrewed
This rlly isn't a FML and at least he added "xoxo"... :)
#71 - On 03/17/2009 at 6:12pm by StupidDancer
He is amazing,
I wish I can do the same, and see how you girls feel when you turns down anything we might like
I do believe these are grounds to revoke your BF's Man Card... what a fool.
#73 - On 03/17/2009 at 6:32pm by ibkidd37
next time try to lure him w/ food instead..
a way to a mans heart is his stomach 8-)
#76 - On 03/17/2009 at 6:54pm by funkbasschild
She posted using the name "Princess" aka High Maintenance. She probably called at some ridiculous time at night, or had irritated the heck out of him that day, and he probably didn't want to deal with her.
#77 - On 03/17/2009 at 6:57pm by ellameno
If you've turned him down many times when he's been in the mood before then I applaud him for his response.
Wow. I have never heard of someone turning down phone sex! that's just hilarious!
Here's a tip: dump the bastard & buy a vibrator!
HAHAHA
WOW
I'm sorry agree
Not everyone can be in the mood all the time.....
and.....
well....
That's classic.
You, my female friend, got owned.
That was for men everywhere, whether he knew what he was doing at the time, or not :)
For all the guys that keep saying that when women turn down sex it's normal but when guys do it's insane, to girls, I've never turned down my guy so chill on that stereotype too.
#90 - On 03/17/2009 at 10:20pm by rose33red99
i think the FML is directed toward his response, not necessarily to the fact her bf didn't want to have sex. if she was that horny, masturbating would've been fine anyway.
just because he denied sex once does not make him gay or her ugly, it also does not mean she should break up with him.
#91 - On 03/17/2009 at 10:40pm by ambrosia21
hey at least he patient haha
better luck next time is all i can say
#93 - On 03/17/2009 at 11:10pm by Chaos_Faction
Sometimes people are really tired. Why do girls expect guys to want sex at ALL TIMES? If a guy posted this about a girl, no one would be sympathetic to him.
Ok, so I agree that guys need their sleep too. Us females complain of 'beauty sleep' or something all the time, so guys deserve it too.
On the other hand, it's really his loss!
I'm a guy, and I can tell you for a fact that even us dudes don't want sex all the time. Sometimes all one wants to do is sleep, especially if one didn't sleep well the night before, had a long day or doesn't feel good.
So, one one hand... he did respond a bit coldly and he should have at least taken the time to say something like "I'm too tired, sorry, love you" instead of being a smart-ass. But on the other hand... if it was late or if you've acted like that towards him before, he's kinda justified in his behavior.
Eh. Agreeing with the people that said to buy a vibe. Much less hassle.
#97 - On 03/18/2009 at 2:35am by firefalcon
Dear god, what the hell is wrong with that guy?
This may sound bad, but if I recieved a text like that, the cops would be after me for indecent exposure because I would've left my pants at wherever I recieved that text as I ran to that girl's bedroom.
go get yourself a trojan vibrating touch fingertip massager ;)
#101 - On 03/18/2009 at 8:23am by formosababie
if your boyfriend texted you saying im horny , in bed and naked, are you always going to say yes? give the guy a break
#102 - On 03/18/2009 at 11:32am by artanis_neravar
He must be a homo...
BTW: fuck everybody sayin, if he would call u sayin I´m horny, get your ass ova here... That´s NOT the same thing! Guys should jump immediatly, if there´s a chance 4 pussy. Believe me, I am one.
#103 - On 03/18/2009 at 12:45pm by TheChosenOne
ok, well thats too bad.
but im sure you have already turned down sex also.
its only normal for him to do the same.
maybe he was really tired.
you have the rest of your life to have sex, no worries.
#105 - On 03/18/2009 at 7:44pm by kimtheturtle
COME ON!!! its not his fault that he's tired. its not like he said, "too bad im not." and he signed it with xoxo. you can't expect him to be down whenever wherever. you seem to know what you want. so going solo shouldn't be as much as a challange.
# 37, come again? what do you think this is the dark age?
how long do you wait to have sex, 2 years? seriously , welcome to 21st century love :)
#112 - On 03/19/2009 at 2:33pm by summer_love
If anyone above said guys are not horny 24/7, you can kiss my A$$. WE are always horny. The ONLY time a guy is not horny is when they just had sex, and even then they still might be horny after that. It all depends on if he wants to go again. EVEN WHEN WE ARE SLEEPING, we are horny. Your boyfriend sounds GAY to me. Or he is cheating on you.
OP and #32 you both need new boyfriends. The biggest problem with sex is that people who like sex constantly get together with people who don't. Maybe we should all start walking around with sexual appetite and taste cards so we can compare notes when we meet someone new we're interested in..
@14 it's hard to believe they been dating for half a year and he just now come out the closet
to poster:
lol REJECTED
#115 - On 03/19/2009 at 8:47pm by firstnlast77
#11 and that's why you're single :P
Bah you just caught him at a bad time, you should know the scheduale of sleep :P
What, you want him to drop whatever he's doing and come over to you just because you're horny? That's absurd.
#120 - On 03/21/2009 at 9:30pm by drpepper000
Unless you go over to his place every time he wants to get some you should expect him to tell you no every once in a while. I hate it how some girls think only they can decide when to have or not have sex
I'm sorry, but I laughed at his line. That's not FML worthy, that's just a tired boyfriend who wants his sleep.
#123 - On 03/22/2009 at 9:48pm by lovemelucky
Ha. I can't really lie about this one, the day I would turn down sex any time of the day would be the day I sucked a dick. AKA: Never. Some people aren't always ready for sex, though, dear. I've been forced to turn it down, much as I hated to, just because I was too tired to get up =\
#125 - On 03/24/2009 at 9:01pm by podrummer9209
depends on how late/early it was but anyway at least he put xoxo!!! hahaha =P
#128 - On 03/28/2009 at 6:10pm by xoCullenistxo
Haha, guys have limits too. We can't be there ALL the time...
But I'd be more than willing to help right now!
Unless he was sound asleep/you live to far away to like, walk, then he should totally be there. You gotta be spontaneous with the lady sometimes.
haha geeeez either he gets so much action that he can have the luxury of rejecting sex, or he's not into you. i'm betting on the 2nd one though.
#138 - On 04/16/2009 at 2:02am by playful2088
He was just about to go to bed and didn't want to drive over to your house. Give him a break and buy a vibrator.
get a better boyfriend.
lol.
my boyfriend and i have this thing..
where if i need him.. he comes.
if he needs me .. i come
[:
HA HA HA HA HA HA I FELL BAD BUT THAT IS SO FUNNY... AGAIN SORRY
#144 - On 05/26/2009 at 5:07pm by happyreader1010
ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha thats pretty funny im sorry but thats funny...still sorry
#145 - On 05/26/2009 at 5:09pm by happyreader1010
lol i know how that guy feels
i had this girlfriend who would only see me or talk to me just to get fuck
now this was good for a while
but i like her a lot and have known for 4 years and i wanted more than just mindless fucking
there were times where i just looked at her text's and felt like a boy toy
#146 - On 05/31/2009 at 12:09pm by snowblazer12
Haha, a man that know what he wants. You have to respect someone like that.
I, on the other hand, am completely pussy whipped and would have like flash-ran to your house haha
ahahaha I'm a girl and I find this hilarious.
Omg you are such a whiny little bitch. Just because he refused one time to have sex means that he's a bad boyfriend and a dick? And that you can complain about it? Urgh, I mean yes granted we don't know all the circumstances, but with what we have given, this is not really an FML.
The guy wasn't in the mood
I'm sure you've done the same.
Plus, reading what the text says, it doesn't really sounds like he was a dick about it or anything
This isnt FYL or YDI. This is why FML NEEDS A "SO WHAT?" button
The people who run this site should consider that idea....
#151 - On 06/12/2009 at 10:40pm by _musical_addict_
ya i definatly want a so wat button! i was just thinking that! good idea!
#155 - On 06/23/2009 at 1:11am by obbergoober123
bf is funny, your life doesn't suck...get over it...everyone has hard days at work, life, etc
#157 - On 08/11/2009 at 12:32pm by DoubleOBond
haha. not really a FML..but dang. cause if i texted that to my bf, he would be right outside.
#158 - On 08/15/2009 at 3:40am by nicanatasha
haha. my one ex said almost the same exact thing to me
#159 - On 08/17/2009 at 1:43pm by rachybaby614
maybe he's not on the mood. fuck u. y r u so selfish. u get pissed at him for being tired. I would tell u to go fuck urself but it looks like u already did. o yeah btw fuck u.
Your boyfriend is a dumbass.
No offense, but which heterosexual man would NOT take the chance of having sex with his girlfriend (besides this dude)? Saying he's too tired to give sweet-loving is bull.
#163 - On 08/31/2009 at 3:54am by zuper_duper
that is hilarious haha. i mean so what,damn he prolly tired. it aint like he jus said no bitch. i mean he did put hugs and kisses and everything ha. i dont know this dude but i automatically love him ahhaaha.
Is the guy so lazy that he doesn't even want to have sex? That's kinda showing that he ain't into ya anymore.
#169 - On 09/16/2009 at 9:26pm by lost_romance
hahaha!- hes wack tho if he doesnt want to have sex with you..... whatev's it could be better anyway cause if you masturbate u alone know the best spots XD
#170 - On 10/07/2009 at 10:36am by superfast19
Well he probaly just came and wasn't in the mood so yeah. Also he said he was tired and about to go to bed so give the guy a break.
#172 - On 11/26/2009 at 1:26pm by diskdude13
