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Today, I was cleaning out my bedside table when I came across some condoms I bought on my 18th birthday, to use the first time I had sex. They expired five years ago. I'm still waiting for my first time. FML

#2471479 (229)

I agree, your life sucks (54490) - you totally deserved it (7467)

On 05/31/2009 at 5:10pm - intimacy - by fmeplease (woman) - United Kingdom (Kent)

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Heather's life also sucks

sweet_02 also deserved it

Comments

How hard is it to go get laid?

#1 - On 05/31/2009 at 9:11pm by hypoxxia

aww. i feel so bad for you :(

#2 - On 05/31/2009 at 9:12pm by kaylahlee

woww that's pretty sad o_0

#3 - On 05/31/2009 at 9:12pm by scorpioserpent

There there.

#4 - On 05/31/2009 at 9:12pm by z_caroline_z

Ah patience is a virtue..

#5 - On 05/31/2009 at 9:12pm by bclaaaytz

So? It's not a bad thing.

#6 - On 05/31/2009 at 9:13pm by Animati0n

Well, the good news is, you just got fucked by life. :) Congrats.

#7 - On 05/31/2009 at 9:14pm by imajinethat

Hmm... your day will come I suppose. :)

#8 - On 05/31/2009 at 9:14pm by SasuNaru

I didnt know condoms expired lol

#9 - On 05/31/2009 at 9:16pm by CousinSkeeter

They do when the lube is no longer... slick.

#237 - On 02/03/2010 at 4:35am by winterharte

well... your mother might be happy with this ?

#10 - On 05/31/2009 at 9:16pm by NATALiA_15

Good thing you were prepared. Bad thing you had nothing to be prepared for besides PALMela

#11 - On 05/31/2009 at 9:16pm by DreMaMa

This comment has been moderated.

#12 - On 05/31/2009 at 9:16pm by SturmFireforge

owell. shi* happens. life goes on without sex. ur day will come somtime. patients is virtue.

#14 - On 05/31/2009 at 9:20pm by matt112992

You know, you can practice putting them on. So they don't go to waste. And you'll be ready when you do finally use one.

#15 - On 05/31/2009 at 9:20pm by jonnymohio

Well, at least you were prepared. That's a plus.

#16 - On 05/31/2009 at 9:20pm by Always_Abby

Haha, #7.

Honestly, it's not that hard to get laid - you just can't be too picky. Or be one of those people who are waiting for the "right" person to come along.

By the way, you might want to buy some new condoms.

#17 - On 05/31/2009 at 9:21pm by Glam

They are FMLs. You're life is seriously fucked.

#18 - On 05/31/2009 at 9:21pm by 123la

cooooool bro. not pathetic but its funny, actual good FML. nice.

#19 - On 05/31/2009 at 9:22pm by guitar43

LOL That's awesome. Awesome because I'm in the same boat. *tearz*

#20 - On 05/31/2009 at 9:24pm by VenomSiphon

haa same. wow what a bunch of loosers we are :) x

#238 - On 02/26/2010 at 5:13pm by JD_88

condoms expire because the latex can get brittle and can tear

#21 - On 05/31/2009 at 9:25pm by kewlcat

loving the nickname !

#22 - On 05/31/2009 at 9:25pm by Shemia

#9 :: wow. that's really sad. have you ever used one?

@ OP :: Nothing wrong with virginity, so not really an FML.

#23 - On 05/31/2009 at 9:27pm by deliciouskaek

Those of you who didn't know that condoms expired are idiots. Hopefully you haven't been "accidentally" procreating, adding more stupidity to the gene pool.

OP: It's good to be prepared, but you kind of jinxed yourself there. It will happen when it happens, then you can worry about the condoms. =P

#24 - On 05/31/2009 at 9:28pm by timeisindustry

you didn't cleaned your bedside table for over 5 years... easy to understand why you haven't get laid

#25 - On 05/31/2009 at 9:29pm by Palx

Have to agree with #25.

#26 - On 05/31/2009 at 9:31pm by Always_Abby

25--- thankyou

#27 - On 05/31/2009 at 9:32pm by mattiscool

HAHAHAHHAHAAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAAHAHHA

poor kid.

#28 - On 05/31/2009 at 9:33pm by o_O_0_o

how is this an fml? and after realizing that you still havent had sex, the first thing you did was post it for the world to know? how about spending some of that time trying to get laid?

#29 - On 05/31/2009 at 9:34pm by fyourlives

Eh no big deal. Just keep looking until you find the right person.

#30 - On 05/31/2009 at 9:35pm by DarkMirror

#25- Harsh.

#31 - On 05/31/2009 at 9:35pm by uberchicken

Nothing wrong with that man, sex isn't important. I been with the same man for a good 6 years now and we still haven't done it. There's a million other things to do in your day other than sex.

#32 - On 05/31/2009 at 9:36pm by Luckster

Hey, it could be worse. You could have NOT had condoms when you were 18, gotten preggo, and ruined your life. The grass is always greener on the other side.

#33 - On 05/31/2009 at 9:36pm by dinosaursmoo

Whine, whine, whine.

#34 - On 05/31/2009 at 9:37pm by InfectedWithDrew

I feel your pain.

#35 - On 05/31/2009 at 9:38pm by AmpulexCompressa

Not as fucked as your grammar, #18

#36 - On 05/31/2009 at 9:40pm by desso

awww well 23 is my unlucky number so maybe when you turn 24 you'll have better luck. Comment #7 made me literally laugh out loud omgggss hahaha

#37 - On 05/31/2009 at 9:42pm by ErikaBaby

Yikes, #13... I'm going to hope you're somewhere in the vicinity of 10 to 14 and don't really know what a condom is yet... They ARE rubbery stuff, more specifically latex usually, and they expire because the latex destabilizes and becomes... more porous... with consequences you'll hopefully understand before they happen to you...

#38 - On 05/31/2009 at 9:42pm by kingbeau

awie!
its all good.
im sure itll happen eventually.

#39 - On 05/31/2009 at 9:44pm by kyeee

# 69 will get you what you want ;)

#40 - On 05/31/2009 at 9:44pm by absurdmoment19

I gotta say YDI. I mean, regardless what you look like - there will be people who are attracted to you. I would bet the main problem is that you never approach women. I have friends like you - when we were at a bar, they would sit at the table and never dream of going up to a girl. Do you think they will just magically fall into your bed?

You have to be proactive - there are girls everywhere, start interacting with them... Seriously - start by smiling at them... do it everywhere you go and then build up to talking to them. It's not that hard - say something witty, or funny, introduce yourself, ask for her number. It's not going to work every time, but you won't strike out every time either. Swing for the fences man!

#41 - On 05/31/2009 at 9:45pm by NotTheAverage

Hot diggity damn, you're a LO-SER!

#42 - On 05/31/2009 at 9:46pm by AnnieLennox1954

That might actually be better than regretting a sexual experience or sexual experiences. Honestly, do you know how many people regret the person they first had sex with, or at least the sitaution? You at least don't have that problem. And, you can use the reasoning to whomever you do have sex with, that you wanted to wait on the right person. If that backfires and he/she acts like, "OMG, you think I'm a slut/think you're better than me" etc., then that person is not worth it either. :-D

#43 - On 05/31/2009 at 9:47pm by TryToBeKind

i was 20 before i "lost it". boo-fucking-hoo. it's not a big deal. i waited until i found someone i loved and trusted enough to engage in sex, and we're still together. age is nothing. i know people way older than you who are still virgins, and it's not like they haven't had the chance, they're just not ready and mature enough.

#44 - On 05/31/2009 at 9:47pm by awilz

well fuck, r u like 30?

#45 - On 05/31/2009 at 9:48pm by GlobeNinja

#7 LOL

#46 - On 05/31/2009 at 9:53pm by FFPianoDude

for everyone who didnt know condoms expired?...youre dumb.

OP-sorry to hear that but hey girls tend to find virgins more attractive and less intimidating, youll find someone within time, just gotta be patient*

#47 - On 05/31/2009 at 9:54pm by kelbel22

#7, I liked your post.

To the guy who didn't understand that condoms expire or HOW they expire: may you NEVER get laid. They get more likely to break. If there's spermicide, it stops working. The lube does who knows what.

To people asking his age, it'd be around 24-25 years old.

#48 - On 05/31/2009 at 9:54pm by silvermoonstar3

#25 has it right

so does #41

you just fail at life. YDI

#49 - On 05/31/2009 at 9:56pm by genius_man16

13, you should know that everything expires eventually

#50 - On 05/31/2009 at 9:57pm by GoMeat4103

LOL #7 = WINNER!

But seriously dude, you're still young. You likely won't die a virgin, your day will come. Paaaaaatience.

#51 - On 05/31/2009 at 10:00pm by premiermois

#41
YES I DO THINK THEY WILL MAGICALY FALL INTO MY BED
this is honestly kind of a heartbreaker

#53 - On 05/31/2009 at 10:02pm by emodude44

Wow #18.. Has anyone told you your grammar is fucked too?? And lmfao #7, you're awesome xD
And OP- Wait for the right person man. Like really, I'm so sick and tired of those sad FMLs saying that they never got laid, or that the woman called out someone else's name. Like seriously people, those are not FMLs. It's not an issue. Wow. But good luck, if you really have to get fucked, you can visit some prostitute anytime. And yuppers, there are male and female prostitutes so gender ain't a problem either ;)

#54 - On 05/31/2009 at 10:02pm by Lounia

Getting laid is the easiest thing ever. Anyone will fuck anyone.

#55 - On 05/31/2009 at 10:03pm by catryn

#32: FYL.

Some of us like sex, sorry to hear you've never had any with the person you've been seeing for 6 years.

People who say it's "no big deal" have never had it, and that's a case of sour grapes, or don't enjoy it -- and usually the latter have some dark past that tainted their ability to enjoy sex.

That said, to the OP: you must have some girl in mind you like. Smile at her, try talking to her, like other said. Don't set your standards high; chances are, you're probably not the most attractive person, so don't expect the same of prospectives. It really isn't that hard to get in girl's pants, you just have to work at it. You can do some things that will make it more likely, but saying those here won't help you; experiment and find what works best. Just a small example: watch a movie together. If the girl you like gets scared by scary movies, rent one. The first time she jumps, bring her close and comfort her. Or laugh. That might catch her off guard.

Above all, explore the other, fairer sex.

#56 - On 05/31/2009 at 10:03pm by markssh

Umm I'm 15 and don't quite know about this stuff so...how long does it take for condoms to expire? XD

#57 - On 05/31/2009 at 10:06pm by wowfmlife

Isnt this a good thing, why is this a FML?

#58 - On 05/31/2009 at 10:08pm by blahdsflksfd

#32's bf must be a saint

OP, sex really isn't that big of a deal, I have done it, but w/e the issue is, the internet definitely isn't the place to fix it

#59 - On 05/31/2009 at 10:15pm by mlia66

I love it how people immedaitely think its a guy ;D
What if its a girl?!

@OP: Patience is a virtue :3

#60 - On 05/31/2009 at 10:19pm by deee___jaaayyy

#53 - I know, it's definitely disappointing... Judging by your name though, I don't think it would take much to be a heartbreaker to you ;)

#58 - Obviously not to the OP, he wants to get laid!

#61 - On 05/31/2009 at 10:21pm by NotTheAverage

yayy!
waiting is a good thing!

abstinence FTW
:D

#62 - On 05/31/2009 at 10:22pm by hitherestranger

#s 9 and 13 - hopefully you guys haven't already started, otherwise, I shudder for both you and your partners. :/
#15 - always good to ask questions. if you grab a package of condoms off the shelf, they should last you a good three years or so. (but hopefully they'd be gone much sooner, lol!) always remember to check the expiry date BEFORE you use one (it will always be printed on each individual wrapper) and as a good rule of thumb if the date on the wrapper is less than six months away, it's safer to use a fresher condom. =)

OP - I sympathize somewhat, I found condoms I had stashed in my drawer a year and a half ago, I had expected them to be looong gone by now... and I'm still a virgin. boo hoo. at least I didn't shack up to some cuntwaffle I used to call my boyfriend. =)

#63 - On 05/31/2009 at 10:24pm by jugglernaut

let's look on the bright side: at least you don't have an sexually transmitted disease!!

#64 - On 05/31/2009 at 10:28pm by anniesaysbueno

Quite honestly, I don't know why everyone thinks this person's life is "fucked" simply because he has yet to lose his virginity at age 23. Where has all the decency and self respect gone? When someone thinks their life is "fucked" because they have yet to have sex, they need to seriously re-evaulate their life, beliefs, ego, and self worth. It makes me sad when I hear about people whose life revolves around making love.

#65 - On 05/31/2009 at 10:29pm by PositiveChillout

I have the same problem. It really bites.

#66 - On 05/31/2009 at 10:29pm by 24788

"I never had sex" Boo fucking hoo. There are far more important things in life than sex. Stop complaining for fucks sake.
Couldn't agree more PositiveChillout.

#67 - On 05/31/2009 at 10:29pm by satanicminnow1

That sucks. I hope you find someone soon

#68 - On 05/31/2009 at 10:30pm by FeelYaFallinAway

Don't condoms last for 2 or 3 years anyway? Add an expiration date 5 years ago... Seriously, you need to clean your house more. Maybe that's why you don't get any. That or it could be because you're 25 and still live with your mother...

#69 - On 05/31/2009 at 10:32pm by o76923

Hey, I haven't been laid either and I could be 25 and not really care about it 8D Why must people constantly have sex just to be happy/ satisfied with life? There're other things to do than sexing everyone up...

#70 - On 05/31/2009 at 10:37pm by SeventhFonons

hahaha thats great. get laid!

#71 - On 05/31/2009 at 10:38pm by thefairchild03

You have got to be really old for them to expire 5 years ago. It takes about 10 years for a condom to expire. 18+10+5 = 33. 33 year old virgin...

#72 - On 05/31/2009 at 10:39pm by jaybrown

...and? My boyfriend was 24 before he got laid, and I was the one who took it from him. It's not hard to go find someone to fuck, it really isn't.
And for you idiots who apparently can even fail sex ed. Yes, condoms do expire. Rubber and latex that thin only hold up for so long. Just because it's not food doesn't mean it can't expire. It also goes down to the molecular bonds and shit.
Why are the stupid people breeding?

#73 - On 05/31/2009 at 10:42pm by mokiwolf

So I bought condoms a couple of weeks ago and I just checked and they expire in 2012 so condoms last about 3 years. This means you're a 26 year old virgin.

Also, you live in the same place you did when you were 18 meaning you probably still live with your parents.

26 year old virgin still living with his parents = Your life is beyond fucked.

#74 - On 05/31/2009 at 10:42pm by Jaywin

Wait a few more years and they'll make a movie out of you.

Honestly, all you need to get laid (if that's all you want) is a bit of confidence. It's the greatest aphrodisiac.

#75 - On 05/31/2009 at 10:44pm by tgm0112

go to college

problem solved.

#76 - On 05/31/2009 at 10:52pm by alcohol89

well some people want to wait for that speical person, BUT DAMN.

#77 - On 05/31/2009 at 10:55pm by likeduhhx4

my guess is if you havent had sex ur either
a) too picky/shallow
b) dont party with the right people
c) arent very outgoing
try going to a new club or something.

ps why would you buy condoms for your 18th birthday?
last time i checked you dont have to be 18.

#78 - On 05/31/2009 at 10:57pm by fmyTINA

Dude I lost my virginity @ 15. I regret the my 1st, 3rd, ( she was really fun tho) 4th, 5th, and im now im my 6th who i am in love with. I wish i could have waited till her but i was young dumb and full of cum. I am very lucky that i did not recieve an STD from some of my more questionable hooks ups. Or get any of them pregnant. Trust me when i say wait until you find someone you love random sex is fun, but so are videogames...not as much tho... but having sex with someone you really love is sooo much better. Wait it out little buddy and you will be better for you... But if you ahve been trying constantly and just fial everyday then ya ur Life is Fucked.....AND FUCKING MORONS. or course condoms expire are you ppl capable of reading?

#79 - On 05/31/2009 at 11:02pm by dude2450

save it for marriage.

#80 - On 05/31/2009 at 11:02pm by q_tipperz

dont worry bout it.
nothing wrong with being a virgin :)

#81 - On 05/31/2009 at 11:06pm by fueledbyamy

damn.. we should chip in for a hooker.

#82 - On 05/31/2009 at 11:07pm by pchi85

#78, no, you don't to buy them, but in some states you have to be 18 to legally have sex.

#83 - On 05/31/2009 at 11:08pm by mokiwolf

I didn't know it was a requirement to have sex by the age of 23.

#84 - On 05/31/2009 at 11:11pm by sathoro

At least you don't have some crazy kind of STD to worry about.

#85 - On 05/31/2009 at 11:12pm by The_Frost

Its not the end of the world if you are still a virgin. You should wait to have sex until your with someone who you are in love with. It doesn't matter, wait until you're in love.

#86 - On 05/31/2009 at 11:12pm by kcg4305

I don't see how this is an FML. You've still got your virginity. You didn't lose it at 14 to some meaningless skank at school, followed by a dozen STD-ridden bar whores in later years. Wait until you meet the right person. Stop worrying about it.

#87 - On 05/31/2009 at 11:13pm by UGADawg08

How long do condoms last for??

I'm 15 and planning to wait for marraige but just wondering... xD

#88 - On 05/31/2009 at 11:16pm by wowfmlife

I'm worried by the people who thought condoms last forever, thats how people get unwanted pregnancy and std's...

#89 - On 05/31/2009 at 11:20pm by mylifeisFML56

I dont understand people who wait till mariiage. What happens when the two end up not being sexually compatible with each other? yes it does happen, different styles, different sizes. . .

#90 - On 05/31/2009 at 11:22pm by notyouraverage

This is not an FML!!! what the heck is wrong with you. If you really want to get laid that bad, go do something about it!! I bet you just think a woman's going to magically appear at your bed...no.

btw, all the people who thought condoms didn't expire are idiots.

#91 - On 05/31/2009 at 11:26pm by spirited_away33

look on the bright side....at least you know you that you haven't contracted any stds

#92 - On 05/31/2009 at 11:28pm by ceecee794

#13, condoms expire...they get little holes if they overheat, and stuff...

#93 - On 05/31/2009 at 11:33pm by GrapefruitZoe

sex is overrated.
okay,not really,but....i feel sorry for you?

#94 - On 05/31/2009 at 11:33pm by annahoward

hahaha 32--you say sex isn't important because you haven't had it! It's one of the greatest things in the world, especially in a relationship like you are in. I couldn't live without it! OP.....FYL

#95 - On 05/31/2009 at 11:34pm by stephfml

YDI, for pitying yourself?! xD
Well- Go get them tigerrrrr!

#96 - On 05/31/2009 at 11:34pm by FadedPurplez

dude,condoms do expire. dont use one that's been on your wallet forever, or in any place that gets really hot, like the glove compartment. The condom is more likely to break, and then we all know what happens.

#97 - On 05/31/2009 at 11:35pm by annahoward

kewl

#98 - On 05/31/2009 at 11:40pm by ejvlols

Hey, I give you all the respect in the world. I appreciate your purity even if you don't want to be.

#99 - On 05/31/2009 at 11:43pm by MooseJuice

Two things-

1) Don't put the pussy on a pedestal.

2) Your time will come. No need to rush man.

:)

#100 - On 05/31/2009 at 11:43pm by jSOPURE

if your that despserate go to the bar/club and bring one home

#101 - On 05/31/2009 at 11:50pm by doghouse334

#32, I think OP may be your boyfriend.

#102 - On 05/31/2009 at 11:50pm by walloftext

No sex until marriage. There are more important things in life, IE everything else. Ever feel the feeling you get when winning the state chess championship? Or what about the feeling of creating a video game that thousands or millions of people will play. Or playing classical piano in front of a large audience, listening to the applause after.

These are the things people miss out on because they spend their entire lives chasing girls for sex instead of bettering themselves.

#103 - On 05/31/2009 at 11:52pm by blahdsflksfd

At least you aren't a complete sex addict that uses 40 of them everyday, and doesn't use them every time and has every STD known to man. THAT would be an FML.

#104 - On 05/31/2009 at 11:53pm by SuperSpore

You may want to put just a little more effort into it.

OTOH, I don't really care if you ever get laid or not.

#106 - On 05/31/2009 at 11:54pm by aback

wow

#107 - On 05/31/2009 at 11:55pm by XxXmichiXxX

Iis it really THAT hard to get laid?

#108 - On 05/31/2009 at 11:56pm by Rawrasaur

Maybe try a Fleshlight whilst you wait.

#109 - On 05/31/2009 at 11:59pm by caprica

Call me a complete dork, but I don't think the 'you not being able to get laid' part is quite as bad as the 'you only clean your nightstand once every five years' part. I mean, if you did bring a partner home, wouldn't they be a little grossed out?

#110 - On 06/01/2009 at 12:19am by snitcheyes411

Oh honey, just go to a prostitute already. Seriously, sex is no big deal once you've done it at least once.

#111 - On 06/01/2009 at 12:19am by babydoll86

Awww, you know what, i think that's sweet!!!!

#112 - On 06/01/2009 at 12:21am by fieryice

Go out and get laid. Also quit being so nasty.

#113 - On 06/01/2009 at 12:23am by xieh

#103 made me laugh... sry but it did

Just don't obsess over sex, and you'll be fine...

OP - maybe put yourself out there and date more!!!

#114 - On 06/01/2009 at 12:28am by bexox

The right girl will come, but she won't fall from heaven.
And don't get hookers, seriously, is worse losing you v card to a hooker than being a virgin forever.
At least if you die a virgin you'll have some kind of dignity.

#115 - On 06/01/2009 at 12:36am by bosco_kk

No matter what anyone says. You are most definitely missing out. Stop being a shy little 5 year old, or work on you're appearance. If you're not gross licking then there is something wrong with you. I'm only 20, and at least 5-6 of the girls i laid approached me first. So do something about it.

#116 - On 06/01/2009 at 12:40am by MrZach

#5 patience isn't a virtue when it comes to sex!

#117 - On 06/01/2009 at 12:48am by DarMARINEren

#23 clearly either just got laid or laid often enough

@OP As a older virgin myself I'm rooting for you, I feel your unclimatic pain.

#118 - On 06/01/2009 at 1:14am by wert

I clicked your life is fucked, but it really kind of isn't, if you know what I mean.

#119 - On 06/01/2009 at 1:15am by chippa

Agree with #12: Not an FML.

#120 - On 06/01/2009 at 1:16am by itsnotmuch

Virginity is a bitch, but at least you're not one of those inbred fools that don't know condoms expire, so that puts you on at least 6 on the smart-scale, and that's a good thing.

One good thing to do with expired condoms:
Buy a flowerpot, put toilet paper roll in the middle of flowerpot, put baking soda inside roll, partially cover roll with expired condom, fill with dirt to cover condom.

Now give to someone (preferably not someone you're trying to have sex with). When they water it, the gasses will force the condom to pop out like a flower. Laughs all around, mission accomplished.

oh, and did you know you don't need a license to buy chloroform?

#122 - On 06/01/2009 at 1:30am by PyroMicky

#32... 6 years no sex?? something is wrong here.... a relationship without sex is like dry cereal without milk

#123 - On 06/01/2009 at 1:33am by PollySighDevil

So what? No bigs. I didn't have my first time until I was engaged, and have only ever been with the one guy. Big deal.

Buuutttt... if you really want to have sex, then go to a party and take out the drunk chick. Easy.

#124 - On 06/01/2009 at 1:34am by onigiriqueen

Damn mate...sucks!!!

#125 - On 06/01/2009 at 1:53am by xabuko

Still a virgin at 24... wow.... rare actually

#126 - On 06/01/2009 at 1:59am by boredlittlechild

#111 - I never did a prostitute, but some guys say you end up hornier afterwards than before. Other swear by them, but they do them a lot. If you do a lot of hookers then you are probably damaged merchandise as far as most future girlfriends are concerned.

#127 - On 06/01/2009 at 2:19am by I_am_stupid_also

Hey look on the bright side...you just taught some ppl on here that condoms expire.

#128 - On 06/01/2009 at 2:20am by WHOtheOx

At least you've had plenty of practice :]

I imagine you have an impressive man gun. haha

I'm sorry for you dude...

I've haven't had sex in a year and 4 months, because I've said no... A lesbian with morals? WTF!

#129 - On 06/01/2009 at 2:21am by xkonstantine125x

wow, what the fuck?

#130 - On 06/01/2009 at 2:25am by ILIEKGIRLS

So um, exactly how big is ur wanking arm?

#131 - On 06/01/2009 at 2:25am by Peroxide

Save yourself for marriage. That's what God's gift of sex is for -- your spouse -- and by waiting for her to be your first-- you have given her an exceptional gift of your love. Any animal (and most do) can have sex. Look at all the posts that degrade you saying that "getting laid is easy." If you think of yourself as an animal in heat then that's one thing, but if you respect yourself and your future spouse, and God's Word-- then you will have a different attitude.

#132 - On 06/01/2009 at 2:33am by doof_fisch

Sex isn't the prize of humanity, pick your self up and get a girlfriend. Girls will have sex with anything that tells them they love them in three weeks after a relationship has been engaged. Happy huntings!

#133 - On 06/01/2009 at 2:35am by lawlkat

Are you a guy? What's your name? You might just be my ex boyfriend, hehe.

Don't worry about it. Sex isn't everything.

#134 - On 06/01/2009 at 2:38am by Jennika

It's not a big deal. Maybe even consider saving yourself for marriage.

#135 - On 06/01/2009 at 2:44am by ohreally123

#132 Animals just have sex for mating purposes only, not for pleasure (except for dolphins). So you can't really compare human's sexual urges to an animal.

You're either: lazy, hideous, or victim of some kind of social anxiety. But since you haven't cleaned your bedside table in 5 years, so I'm assuming you haven't moved out of your parent's house yet either...I'm going to go with lazy. Get up off your bum and get yourself some pussy.

#136 - On 06/01/2009 at 2:53am by lolwut_fail

HAHA #122 made me laugh so hard!

Annnndd I want to try that flower pot thingy. Too funny.

#137 - On 06/01/2009 at 2:54am by kvgf1484

lol, you don't need a condom when life fucks you...

#138 - On 06/01/2009 at 3:05am by boredlittlechild

Wow you'll get laid sonner or later. and if not in about another 5 years you have another fml.lol

#139 - On 06/01/2009 at 3:27am by trapiadora

I'm 18. I have never kissed a girl. I have never been on a date. I have like 10 female friends. I'm not gay either. I also have plenty of male friends. I just like enjoying time with people. Craving for sex is a thing teenagers do. Just try to enjoy life and don't think about it too much. Sex is just overrated and besides - you have your hands. If things get too difficult you can always pay someone to have sex with you.
Friends are always better than girlfriends. Friendship lasts forever, but love lasts less than a life-time. You can always count on a good friend, but your lover might always cheat and leave you. Dedicate your life on more important stuff, like education, carreer, making money etc.

#140 - On 06/01/2009 at 3:42am by DaSn0r

140 has watched one too many episodes of 'Doc'.

Dedicate your life on more important stuff like education, career and money making, so you can design a doomsday device with your new found education, do well as a dictator with all the right career moves and buy plenty of women with all the money you hoard.

#141 - On 06/01/2009 at 3:59am by PyroMicky

5 years since you cleaned your desk?

#142 - On 06/01/2009 at 4:13am by Tarion

haha lol #7 so you already had your first time! congrats! lol

#143 - On 06/01/2009 at 4:20am by bbobe900000

Damn dude!!! Im 15 and I already got laid!!!

#144 - On 06/01/2009 at 4:21am by Shadyblood

hire a hooker? seriously how old are you...

#145 - On 06/01/2009 at 4:46am by sugarfixkid

So? It's just sex.

#146 - On 06/01/2009 at 5:17am by banerkblue

Nothing wrong with being a virgin. I don't know any guys who can say they're a virgin anymore. It's a sad thing, because I don't see any of them in the same relationships they had when they lost it.
It's not that hard to have sex, no, but if you're waiting for the right person, good for you.

#147 - On 06/01/2009 at 5:48am by redbluegreen

#32 I think I am your boyfriend. Stop holding out on me, it's getting old.

#148 - On 06/01/2009 at 5:52am by mattmag

#144, nothing to be proud of. Just shows you're easy / shallow / a horny, careless moron with nothing better to think about than sex or who you have it with.

Whilst yeah, that sucks, there are other things to think about.
Sex is tooootally overrated, it's just sex.
That said, it's good enough to not wait til marriage.

Sucks for you, go out and meet some ladies at a bar or something. Get a girlfriend. Whatever. Just stock up on some new condoms.

#149 - On 06/01/2009 at 7:17am by OMGQueenB

#41 ftw.

seriously? it's not that hard to get someone to sleep with you. just go out and meet people. talk to women. (or men, we don't know OP's gender/preference) i assure you, they want to have sex just as much as you do. i'm not saying you're ugly, because we have no idea, but it doesn't even matter. ugly people get laid every day. just go get it.

i gather from the fact that you even wrote an FML about it that it's not self-induced abstinence. if it was that would be another thing, and nothing to be ashamed of. but if you wanna get laid, go get it! oh and stop pitying yourself, that could be what's keeping people away.

good luck.

#150 - On 06/01/2009 at 7:43am by fretforyerlatte

OMG @ all the people who didn't know condoms expire... WTF?! That's really sad.

Being a virgin myself, I don't see anything wrong with being a virgin, unless you're one by force. Don't feel saddened about this realization. You can always be productive and work to change your situation :). If all else fails, hire a prostitute :P.

#151 - On 06/01/2009 at 7:47am by ArtsySwag

lol #32 6 years if it was me...i might cheat on you or break up with you but op i wouldnt worry about it just go to a few parties

#152 - On 06/01/2009 at 7:59am by shroomis

#90 - Just because you don't understand it doesn't mean it doesn't work. People who wait until marriage aren't in it for the sex. It's just an added bonus. I can honestly say that every time I've turned down sex from one guy to the next, I haven't regretted it once, and I'm freaking 20 in a hormone ridden college. Something always comes up that makes you say "Oh - I'm really glad I didn't sleep with THAT guy."
#102 - LOL.
#121 - Way to hate on some random 16 year old who isn't even ugly. At least he put a picture up - unlike you. Embarrassed much?
...For everyone who's dumb enough to not know that condoms expire... your parents probably didn't know either. Lol.

#153 - On 06/01/2009 at 8:03am by dreamofme

When you buy them, don't they have a few years till they expire? Haha and it was another 5 years after they expired you found them. Woww that sucks dude, sorry.

#155 - On 06/01/2009 at 9:44am by cuberto

Well #1 when your slutty.... i'm sure it's not hard for u to get laid at all :)

#156 - On 06/01/2009 at 9:54am by Polionixon

First, get fresh condoms.

Second, go to Nevada and get a pro.

Third...well, I've got nothing else, I just like having 3 points :D

#157 - On 06/01/2009 at 10:07am by Dogmaw

You're just a late bloomer. Took me a while, too, and I've known people who really didn't become sexually active until their 30s. My problem was a serious lack of confidence and assorted issues with depression and self-esteem, and I also wanted it to be with someone I cared about...not necessarily loved or felt was THE ONE, but cared about. My first time was pretty rotten, to be honest, but looking back I've had quite a few adventures and now my sex life is more fun and adventurous than many other people I know. I'll echo the others to work on your confidence and self-esteem, maybe even talk to a therapist who might be able to help you a bit with those issues.

#158 - On 06/01/2009 at 10:15am by Vagrarian

There is at least one good news, you don't have STD's

#159 - On 06/01/2009 at 10:26am by terrta_merrta

It's better than having sexual experiences you regret. Focus on forming relationships first, getting to know new friends and potential partners, you'll find someone worth waiting for.

#160 - On 06/01/2009 at 10:47am by purple_sarah

#11-Borat??
#73--nice green day quote

#161 - On 06/01/2009 at 10:58am by randomdude1234

yeah throw them out.

but ... your friends will tell you differently... but there's no crime in passing up on the skanks while you wait to find someone worth being with.

not to mention... those high school sex ed classes NEVER tell you the truth about condoms and birth control. Here's a few things they taught in a college level human sexuality class:

1 Condoms
- Condoms are 98% effective in laboratory testing.
- In real life they have about a 17% failure rate. That statistic is taken from the number of people who use condoms only and still end up with a pregnancy.

2 AIDS / HIV
- The pours in latex are 50X bigger than the size of the HIV virus. Yep. You can still become HIV positive while using condoms.


So... you're a virgin. Who cares?
The only people who care are other boys who want to tease you about it... and most likely ... they're just embellishing their stories, or outright lying.

#162 - On 06/01/2009 at 11:31am by were_giraffe

Dude- just go pay an escort already. This has 2 virtues- 1) you won't have to worry about your lack of experience or skill, since she's only there for the money, anyway and won't be critiquing your skills and 2) once you lose your V-flag, you may well feel less nervous about the whole thing, leading to you ultimately doing better with the girls. Good luck, broheim.

#163 - On 06/01/2009 at 12:15pm by cossackkid01

That was a FEMALE. Try to keep up. :)

#218 - On 06/26/2009 at 6:29am by wtf_fg

#162...the story about HIV and condoms is disputed. The CDC reports that correct usage of condoms is conclusively proven to help prevent HIV infection. And the stuff about pore sizes is based on faulty info...from what I've been able to find out, whoever started that had the measurements of pore sizes from latex gloves, but condoms are manufactured differently. It's also been found that some folks citing this permeability stuff refer to fictitious studies and seem to be making stuff up. However, that misinformation is commonly spread by pro-abstinence anti-sex types and now too many people in the general public take it for a fact. The truth is that so far nobody has been able to conclusively prove that HIV can permeate a condom; people who claim so appear to either do so out of ignorance or are using a life-and-death medical issue to push an idealogical agenda.

#164 - On 06/01/2009 at 1:02pm by Vagrarian

Oh, and #32, if you've been with the same man for 6 years and are not having sex, then 1) He's just not having sex with YOU or 2) he's not so much a 'he'... what's the correct pronoun for eunuchs, anyway?

#162, good points, but as I like to say; when you get into an automobile, you put yourself at much higher risk (statistically) than you do during sex, providing that you're not having unprotected anal with a heroin-junkie vegas go-go dancer. The same folks who want to scare us away from sex aren't about to give up their SUVs, though, are they?

#165 - On 06/01/2009 at 2:01pm by cossackkid01

# 78, wow the OP is too picky and maybe thats why they havent had sex?
or maybe they want their first time to be special, and not just fuck some random person.

there is nothing wrong with that.

why would you buy condoms for your 18th birthday? you dont have to be 18 to buy condoms......

#166 - On 06/01/2009 at 2:21pm by SamanthaLynne7

You haven't cleaned your bedside table in 5 years?

#167 - On 06/01/2009 at 2:32pm by cherrystarkiss

How long does it take for condoms to expire?? Does anyone know?

#168 - On 06/01/2009 at 3:34pm by wowfmlife

Look at it this way buddy; 1 in four people have herpes. Blessing in disguise brah.

#169 - On 06/01/2009 at 3:43pm by FKO

agree with #9... how do condoms expire????

#170 - On 06/01/2009 at 4:48pm by emodrew

Hi, I wrote # 170, and just wanted to say: Thanks to #21 who KINDLY answered the question....unlike 34, 47, etc

#171 - On 06/01/2009 at 4:51pm by emodrew

get a hooker

#172 - On 06/01/2009 at 4:52pm by KorbenDeck

#25 you win at life.......... XD

#173 - On 06/01/2009 at 5:32pm by myfairyoshi

Lol @ #7 Im 15 and a virgin and I know ppl my that lost it and I'm not crying over it, well I think about it but who cares, WAIT BUDDY!!!!!!

#174 - On 06/01/2009 at 5:33pm by Burner2K0

at least you're safe from diseases and stuff like that i guess ?

hahaaaa #7 & 24

to #174, you're 15 and you're comparing the fact that YOURE still a virgin to that fact that this twenty something guy is still a virgin? are all your friends sluts? xD

#175 - On 06/01/2009 at 6:15pm by ericabella18

well, at least you won't get an STD? And, its not really as big a deal as some people make it.

#176 - On 06/01/2009 at 6:57pm by 56578

do you still live at home? maybe thats you problem

#177 - On 06/01/2009 at 7:18pm by oompaaa

hey your saving yourself, some girl will appreciate that one day ;)
good for you, im proud

#178 - On 06/01/2009 at 8:14pm by larforever

ROFL! you're 23 and still a virgin? FYL cuz you suck at it. either that or reeeeeeeeally unfortunate looking and/or very fat.

#179 - On 06/01/2009 at 8:39pm by FMLfangirl89

Im with u man! Im still a virgin too, the difference, i'm 14.

#181 - On 06/01/2009 at 9:20pm by Lemon0642

to everyone saying way to wait...that is not this persons choice. Dont be trying to get laid. it wont happen that way. wait for someone you really care about, know and love. it will make it that much better. DONT hire an escort or a prosititue. they can have diseases (and then NO ONE will want to be with you) and it could be a very bad experiance.

#182 please dont do it jst to do it. it wont be worth it and you will regret it.

To everyone who didn't know that condoms expire: you are idiots and should not be partaking in any activities that may result in pregnancy. you should have seen EXPIRE: (insert date here) on the back of the package.

to everyone: it is not jst sex. it is your life, and the actions you do affect the rest of your life in some way, shape, or form. try not to do things that you think you mite regret (and if you think you mite, you shouldn't do it). jst be happy

#182 - On 06/01/2009 at 10:01pm by golfcrzy

YDI VIRGIN!!!

must be ugly or socially retarded

#183 - On 06/01/2009 at 11:42pm by Heelix

woot go virgins!

#184 - On 06/02/2009 at 12:00am by AutumnsMonologue

...Is it shameful to stay a virgin and not risk getting F'd up STD's?!? Even with "protection" people can get pregnant and pass STDs

#185 - On 06/02/2009 at 1:00am by Light_Ty

U should save it for marriage or just say that

#186 - On 06/02/2009 at 2:53am by 1xbananax1

wow. = ( poor thing.
get a toy @ least. = ) lol.

#187 - On 06/02/2009 at 3:35am by rachelbrianna25

If you really want to get laid so bad, surely it can't be that difficult can it?

#188 - On 06/02/2009 at 6:37am by jessb

Just do it already! become Bi-sexual... you cant find sex, so Buy it!!!!!!!!!

#189 - On 06/02/2009 at 7:44am by QueenBouta

wtf bro, go mack chicks, now

#190 - On 06/02/2009 at 8:32pm by puckmastakilla6

at least you're not the 40 year old virgin... yet.

#191 - On 06/02/2009 at 8:32pm by jack01

To those asking:

Condoms expire because everything medical expires. They're only going to guarantee effectiveness for so long so people don't sue over a 40 year old condom.

#192 - On 06/02/2009 at 10:15pm by MoobyTheCow

Condoms last for a few years, so you must be about 27 now? Ouch. I'm pretty anti-social but even I get laid with some frequency. You're doing something wrong.

#193 - On 06/02/2009 at 11:14pm by christopherlove

don't rush into anything. i gave it up one drunken night to a guy a hardly knew because i was sick of being a virgin, i was 23. i totally regretted it. i didn't meet the love of my life til i was 28. and i've never been happier and my inexperience was a bonus, because then i could try out all this sex stuff with him and the sex is great.

#194 - On 06/03/2009 at 1:13am by Tearlag

hey im a guy if u r an ugly girl id bang you. if you are a guy i have an ugly girl for you

#195 - On 06/03/2009 at 2:31am by hey_it_happens

1) Problem: you are /waiting/ rather than being remotely proactive.

2) #100 F T W. Also, but contradictorily, #41 speaks the truth.

3) There are other people in the same boat as you. Right here! :/

#196 - On 06/03/2009 at 11:27am by cheesefest

#65 said it. There are so much better things in life besides sex :). I think most people would agree at least I would hope.

#197 - On 06/03/2009 at 5:45pm by suckingatlife

I don't see why people are ashamed for being virgins, it just means you have more morals, self worth, and self control than other pitiful people who screw just about anything as long as it breathes(not counting vibrators, etc.)

#198 - On 06/03/2009 at 6:05pm by bubblekat9

#198

being sexually active doesn't mean you dont have morals, self worth, or self control.
having sex is normal for every living thing.
Now.. on the other hand, sleeping around, is immoral.
people who have sex arent all people who just 'screw anything as long as it breathes'

and by your name "bubblekat9"
i wouldnt be suprised if you were only nine

#199 - On 06/03/2009 at 9:24pm by kewlcat

....wow....that sucks for you...5 years though....hahahahahahahahaha sadness

#200 - On 06/04/2009 at 4:02pm by KillaKellaz

why don't you just do one of those dating things or flirt with guys???

#201 - On 06/04/2009 at 5:23pm by bornbritish

I'll give you a sympathy f*ck. Unless you're fat. Or stinky.

#202 - On 06/04/2009 at 10:14pm by elohssa

I guess my life is f"cked also since I am 21 and never had sex.

#203 - On 06/05/2009 at 3:22pm by Epinephrine

well fyl. i no people who lost it at 14. :S

#204 - On 06/06/2009 at 8:55am by Keeeeely

I think that's cute. Least youh aint no skank y0.

#205 - On 06/06/2009 at 5:11pm by Moooshie

don't be desperate. don't be creepy. this pretty much works for everyone.

#206 - On 06/06/2009 at 5:55pm by amazingkate

Hahahaha. All you kids hating on him are in fact the losers.

I'll break it down for you children. He hasn't done something that MANY people hold sacred to their heart, and you're calling him a loser/pathetic and a bunch of other non sense.

Yeah, who's the pathetic one there? You kids need to slap yourself twice. 1. For thinking Sex is the best thing in the world. 2. For being retarded.

You people don't know this guy, so stop assuming sh*t. Jesus Christ.

Just live your life man, the time will come.

#207 - On 06/07/2009 at 3:36pm by xBamxBam

Unlucky mate :(

#208 - On 06/07/2009 at 9:27pm by godyourethick

Waiting for a good first time is important. You want it to have meant something.

#209 - On 06/08/2009 at 12:13am by Jenae91

Aww, its ok, your time will come

#210 - On 06/08/2009 at 7:57pm by Amber54321

Throw them out and get a new pack.

#211 - On 06/11/2009 at 8:32pm by FoundManyLemons

aww, too bad you are in Europe

#212 - On 06/17/2009 at 10:07pm by WTFIWWP

Has nobody actually seen that the OP is a female...and since she had condoms she's probaby not lesbian, so stop giving her advice on how to get into chicks!!

#213 - On 06/19/2009 at 8:28am by UpYourself

I'm waiting for my first time too. Why don't we hook up together?

#214 - On 06/20/2009 at 6:51am by HeroicDude

don't worry you'll get there soon... but I'm 15 and I've been laid, so you gotta try harder man

#215 - On 06/20/2009 at 9:30pm by iD

ok, listen, I'll be in the UK in a few months. If you would like.....

wink wink, nudge nudge, SAY NO MORE!

#216 - On 06/23/2009 at 11:47am by kcid

The people saying "you need to get laid" really need to hush. I heard that a lot. In four days, it will one year since the morning that I gave in to the pressures. I would take it back in a heartbeat if I were given the chance.

Your time will come, and I wish you the best. I hope it is worth remembering.

#217 - On 06/26/2009 at 6:26am by wtf_fg

Dont feel bad, I'm 23 and still haven't done it yet, and I also have friend who is 26 and still a virgin.

#219 - On 06/26/2009 at 7:39pm by lasthope03

HEy don't feel too bad, i'm 26 and still a virgin.

So if you're ever in the US hit me up. ;-)

#220 - On 06/26/2009 at 8:00pm by duo002

Best to wait for it to be something worth remembering! Wait for the right person!

#221 - On 06/26/2009 at 8:19pm by Miz_Firebrand

I've never had a GF and I'm 16.

#222 - On 06/29/2009 at 5:35pm by EpicFishFingers

Same. Never been asked out! lol

#227 - On 08/06/2009 at 8:52am by Rach_star

anytime soon u all will, don't worry.

#233 - On 09/25/2009 at 7:09pm by Damone

You know, there's honestly nothing wrong with that. Being a virgin is honestly just a state of being, nothing shameful in my view.

#223 - On 07/01/2009 at 5:47pm by AnotherHeadcase

oh my gosh that isnt even a bad thing that she hadnt had sex yet. You people are horrible who say that its sad that she hasnt done it yet. I think its a great thing. I'm glad to know that she hasnt just randomly hooked up with anyone in her life. Where did all of our morals and values go?

#224 - On 07/06/2009 at 11:08pm by love_adam

I'm 23 and a virgin... and this woman seems to be from the same county as me... hey maybe we should meet... see what happens.

#225 - On 07/07/2009 at 6:07pm by davek

Hey, being a virgin at an older age (than most people lose it) is perfectly fine. At least you're not some slut with an STD or something. You'll lose it eventually and it'll be awesome! Be optimistic.

#226 - On 07/23/2009 at 8:41pm by ccdita

Hah hey, seems like there are a few of us in the same boat. I probably would've made up an FML like this before reading the comments.

#228 - On 08/07/2009 at 3:28pm by elparto

it isn't a fml for a girl to be a virgin. though you are missing out on valuable life experience

#229 - On 08/09/2009 at 1:46pm by Midij19

is this a joke, seriously its not hard for a girl to get laid, seriously wtf, r u like deformed or something cause most guys aint that picky over a one night stand

#230 - On 08/26/2009 at 10:46pm by nick90

you gotta decide what you want, I mean if you really wanted to get laid you could have done it for sure. that's what bars and booze are for. It is widely considered impolite and rude in western cultures for a young male to turn down a female. Especially so when the act of coitus is involved. Seems you have some self-esteem problems, but then, who am I to preach, I'm just a kid.

#231 - On 08/30/2009 at 3:03pm by Zic

I'd say FYL. Not because you are a virgin, but by the way you said "waiting for my first time" it sounds like you haven't even had an opportunity

#232 - On 09/13/2009 at 5:32pm by darkblue_13

buy new ones, just in case

#234 - On 09/25/2009 at 7:11pm by Damone

to...like half these comments. a WOMAN posted this. pay attention to what you read before you respond and sound dumb.

and dont worry, you'll do it sometime and it'll be great. caz sex just is. but you dont need to rush or worry about it. what happens, happens.

#235 - On 11/11/2009 at 10:01pm by RefinedMotion

so?

#236 - On 01/04/2010 at 1:56am by hilhal

at least you don't have aids from some whore yet :D

#239 - On 02/28/2010 at 12:08pm by hootersgirl

u want us to make funn of yu?

#240 - On 03/11/2010 at 11:39pm by Skittles_Cat_09

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