Intimacy: Today, my roommate graphically described the STD he'd contracted...

This is a Nearly FML. It’s an FML, nearly. It got positive votes from the users, by wasn’t approved by our team.

By ITrytoStayClean - 05/05/2016 05:43 - United States - Erie

Today, my roommate graphically described the STD he'd contracted a couple days ago. I asked why'd he tell me this when he said they'd had sex in my bed and I probably should go get tested. FML

I agree, your life sucks 78

You deserved it 7

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Keywords

Lonely Health Dentist Sadness Work Awkward Abuse Miscellaneous Birthday Parents Mental health Relatable OCD Cute Cleaning Love Housework Kids Argument Animals Cats Intimacy Underwear Bikes Camping Boredom Friends Vacation Transportation Annoying

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Today, I volunteered to babysit my niece. How hard can it be to entertain a toddler for a few hours? Turns out, very hard. Within minutes, she'd turned the living room into a war zone, with crayon graffiti and a trail of sticky handprints leading to who knows where. By the time her parents got back, I was ready to sign up for a lifetime supply of earplugs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 148

You deserved it 318

Today, I met up with a guy from Bumble for a first date. An hour in, he asks me, "What's your take on body odor?" He proceeds to tell me about his intimate relationship with his body odor and how his armpits take on the scents of his lovers' lady bits. He added that the "essence" of his ex often returns. FML

I agree, your life sucks 502

You deserved it 70

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Today, after I used to laugh at videos of dudes being evicted because their missus spent the mortgage on shoes and handbags, I got home and my missus had some brand new shoes and handbags. You can guess the rest. I swear I’m divorcing her for this. FML

I agree, your life sucks 759

You deserved it 257

Today, most of the stuff in my house is falling apart due to the fact that I don't have enough money to buy things that last. My lampshades ended up getting torn to shreds when I tried gently dusting them, then the base fell out of my lamp when I went to move it to clean up around it to vacuum. FML

I agree, your life sucks 648

You deserved it 134

Nice try, buddy.

I agree, your life sucks 179

You deserved it 253

Today, as I put on my pajamas, a large spider ran down my leg. After freaking out, killing it, and recomposing myself, I went to the bathroom. As I sat down to go to the toilet, I looked up to see hundreds of baby spiders hanging over my head. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 141

You deserved it 4 017

Today, in class, everyone read my Creative Writing submission. It was a touching story about the unconditional love that exists between dog and his owner. Everybody unanimously agreed that it was probably about bestiality. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 252

You deserved it 7 047

Today, I gave myself a facial with one of those masks you leave on for a while. I busied myself by tidying my room while it dried and eventually forgot all about it. I finally remembered about it after I answered the door to the postman. Not embarassing enough? I'm a guy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 369

You deserved it 65 050