Today, I started my new job. Only after I met my new boss did I realise I've met him before. He was at my friend's party last month, the only time in my life when I got so wasted that I danced on a table before puking on myself. He remembers me, too. FML
Collection
Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves!
Today, I discovered my former boss from the job I quit 3 months is now my boss at my new job. He was the reason I quit my old job. FML
Today, I had a job interview with a man that I got drunk with at a bar on Saturday night. He spent an hour telling me things I did that I don't even remember. FML
Today, I was at a bar with my girlfriend, and I noticed an obnoxious guy from college I used to hang out with. I tried to avoid eye contact, but all of a sudden he shouted, "There's the guy who puked his margarita back into the glass!" Everyone stared. Yup, that was me, just last week. FML
Today, the person that interviewed me for a job was the same person I called a "fat bitch" at a baseball game after she knocked over my drink while she was dancing. She recognized me too. FML
Today, I woke up in my boss’s sofa. I was covered in vomit, my head was hurting too much, and the only thing I could remember from the party the day before was that I was holding hands with my boss. I thought the story ended there but turns out I bit him on the neck, not once, not twice, but thrice. FML
Today, I walked into work after being completly wasted last night. I was sitting in a meeting when all of a sudden the presenter had gotten an e-mail saying "crazy girl dances on tables at local bar". So obviously everyone wanted to watch it. That crazy girl was me. FML
Today, for the first time in two years, I met my ex-girlfriend. I was drunk. FML
Today, I attempted to make a good impression amongst new coworkers by volunteering to be the designated driver at my work party. What did that get me? A backseat full of puke and some idiot too drunk to remember where he lived. FML
Today, my boss told me that I'd confessed my love to him last night when he'd held my hair back as I puked. FML
Today, I ran into an attractive friend of a friend who I hadn't seen since a night out last month. I tried my best to be friendly and interesting, but he still seemed awkward. Later I find out that last time he saw me, I was blind drunk and vomiting after propositioning him all evening. FML
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Top comments
vffjvsegb 11
Well that will be an awkward boss/employee relationship
Voij 16
Perhaps not the most pleasant of ways to learn to regulate your alcohol consumption, what with it being your workplace and all, but better to learn this lesson now than perhaps never learning it at all.
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Comments (61)
Ladisa 28
That sucks.
ohjoy15 33
Your desperation to make first comment sucks.
jw90 18
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
Time to look for a new one.
zandalee 19
Not necessarily. I mean the only way is up from here isn't it. ;-)
The_FN_Gunny 13
Well they hired him already. Besides that's off the job. I've seen people do worse then go to work the next day giving it 110% effort
whos_ur_daddy1 19
They could be bros now haha
DBallin 10
33 and 36: OP is female.
TheAbstract 15
You can be bros with a female, bro.
ohgeejosee 19
Invite him to another party, handle your alcohol, then work will be a lot less stressful! :D
thetinyone 8
Hench the term she-bro
vffjvsegb 11
Well that will be an awkward boss/employee relationship
Little4Bear 10
On the contrary, he'll know who to look for when it comes to finding the life of the party.
HeyHeyFishFillet 34
Nothing like puking all over yourself to get the party started!!!
TheOnlyMizLiv 22
Awkward not-employee/not-boss relationship I think.
jkmartinjk 16
^ Soooo, no relationship then?
littlem91 29
I hope she kept her clothes on while dancing, or it's even worse.
Voij 16
Perhaps not the most pleasant of ways to learn to regulate your alcohol consumption, what with it being your workplace and all, but better to learn this lesson now than perhaps never learning it at all.
dudeofawe 15
She doesn't have a problem. She specifically specified "only time".
caramelie 7
Ops
Little4Bear 10
Well OP, you definitely made a memorable first impression. Hopefully he doesn't hesitate to invite you to any of his parties :)
jixiekat 14
he will lol just kidding
Espolax 8
So he knows u are fun. It's good to have someone fun around
lesliehalverson 5
Not if you're seriously considering hiring this person! And also I'm a bit confused on your definition of fun... A person that's drunk and vomiting doesn't sound fun to me.
Ladisa 28
Eventually he'll notice that it was just a one time event.
anarchy94 7
Small world
perdix 29
So, usually you puke on yourself without dancing on a table? I guess that would be less memorable. Just as long as "holding your liquour" is not in the job description, you'll be OK . . . until he invites you ro Happy Hour ;)