Today, I finally felt ready to make love to my boyfriend for the first time. It all went great, until I tried putting the condom on him. In the process, I managed to nick his penis not once, but three times with my nails. His eyes brimmed with tears and he completely lost his erection. FML
Collection
Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves!
Today, I was getting intimate with my boyfriend for the first time. He was so nervous, he broke down in tears after failing to unclasp my bra after multiple fumbling attempts. Mood? Ruined. FML
Today, while finally about to make love with my long-term boyfriend, he came from putting a condom on. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I had sex for the first time, and I tried to be sexy by raking my nails down his back. I guess I did it a little too hard, because he shrieked in pain, leapt off me, and limped around the room cursing and whimpering. Mood ruined. FML
Today, I finally lost my virginity to my boyfriend. It hurt like hell, was over in less than a minute, and he tried to reuse the condom for a second round. FML
Today, I had sex with my boyfriend for the first time. After he'd repeatedly told me not to worry about bleeding, and reassuring me that he'd take care of me, he passed out halfway through. FML
Today, I finally felt ready to lose my virginity with my boyfriend. Unfortunately he was too embarrassed to go and buy some condoms, and suggested in all seriousness that we use a sandwich bag instead. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I tried to have sex. Foreplay was amazing, but as soon as he started to get it in, he lost his erection because he was too nervous. He's a 30-year-old virgin and this has happened at least 10 times. FML
Today, I finally felt ready to have sex for the first time, with my boyfriend of nearly 8 months. When I told him, things became intimate and pants came off. He then looked at me and said, "Yeah, I can't do this." The rest of the night was spent in awkward silence. FML
Today, I tried for the first time putting a condom on my boyfriend using my mouth. I freaked out, swallowed, and started choking on the condom. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were trying to have sex for the first time. Not only did he struggle for five minutes to put on a condom (repeatedly snapping himself in the balls), but he then had to ask me "which hole" to put it in. I'm dating a thirty-four year old virgin. FML
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Top comments
SuperPizzaMan_fml 11
More like FHL. Poor penis.. :(
littlexlune 16
Better luck next time!
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Comments (157)
littlexlune 16
Better luck next time!
Uramonkey 11
Hey at least it's pretty easy to get an erection again!
buddy51 23
Not so easy, I bet, when you've got several bleeding lacerations on the head and shaft..... unless, of course, he's into that.
tatsumahyuu 5
Lol I am someone who is like that...
zinoxity 23
Or next time you could just get him to put it on himself, perhaps. XD
abekj52 9
sex stories from 12 year olds warm my heart
PlasterBlaster9 13
U mean better fxck next time.
lyvingvamp 15
It will get better OP! Then you can move on to accidentally swallowing the condom.
PterodactylMan 23
Oh god why?
cmayer 20
Not gonna lie, I gagged at the mental image.
skyeyez9 24
Sounds like something Noor would say.
beclaurela 18
Ah, just like the episode of Grey's Anatomy
SuperPizzaMan_fml 11
More like FHL. Poor penis.. :(
buddy51 23
More like FHP.... Or B(andage)HP(enis)....
nnnope 26
*gives 28 a "you tried" star*
angeluv_2014 22
awwwww is all I could say when i read this
tygerarmy 35
OP should kiss it and make it better.
Uramonkey 11
54 - Maybe that will get his erection back!
fatmcfatty 13
next time use you mouth its sexy and you wont nick his penis with your nails
Blackcatluck 19
Use her mouth to put a condom on? Now that takes skill
naxeeb 33
Just hope she doesn't bite it by accident :P
EsotericBrent 29
Just watch the teeth -- the last thing you want is a tiny hole in the thing
buddy51 23
...or in his penis...
UndeadMongrel 7
Not a good idea you can accidentally break the condom doing that
doitlikeabrotha 10
#13 It actually doesn't at all, you've obviously never tried it, I think it's easier than hands
Jezzikah 11
The lube on them doesn't taste the greatest tho
iAlissa 34
#49, considering #13 is a guy, I don't think he has tried it.
dancinwookie 21
That's why you use only your lips at first to roll it down. Then roll it down the rest of the way with your hand, if you can't figure it out. I don't keep long nails for this exact reason. I dunno how you could mangle a penis like that though just putting on a condom.
yellowaholic 25
One time I tried to put the condom on with my mouth and it grossed my boyfriend out, because apparently "touching a condom with your mouth is disgusting".
fatmcfatty 13
well then something is wrong with your boyfriend.
naxeeb 33
It's okay OP. No one expects it to be perfect on the first go! I'm sure you'll get better with more practice :P
M3DIC4T3 29
I wonder how long OP's nails are... I also wonder why he continued to allow OP to try putting the condom on, resulting in him being nicked again?
fatmcfatty 13
Nic me once shame on you. Nic me twice shame on you. Nic me a third time **** this I am done with you
Blackcatluck 19
Although I feel sorry for the penises that she's gonna practice on
Matrix159 13
I think he needed a different kind of protection...
Bano360 25
I think that feels nice to be honest.
Blackcatluck 19
I think you have a future in B&M
Bano360 25
No I think it's just glamour nails I like, that's all :)
mbuck87 19
On yourself or your partner?
LeFrogDog 27
in this stiuation let him put it on and no hand jobs
morganrules123 10
Why didn't he put in on after the first time?
Metallica36176 16
That's exactly what I thought. Id rather just arouse a guy and then kiss/dance or something while HE puts it on. I know how, but guys are better at it. BUT....at least it would be an easy fix for OP. Just because a guy loses an erection doesn't mean he can't get it back. Cut your damn nails and file them to where they aren't sharp, lick/rub the wounds to make sure theyre ok, hand him the condom, and keep yourself busy while he puts on. Don't give up OP!