Today, my girlfriend wanted to try something new in the bedroom, so she got an assortment of different sized cock rings. She laughed when the one we were trying to use kept falling off, and said to try a smaller one. It was the smallest in the set. FML
Collection
Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves!
Today, my girlfriend and I were getting hot and heavy. She had her shirt off, and commented on the small size of her breasts. Trying to make her feel better, I said I'd dated girls with smaller breasts. She replied by saying she'd dated bigger penises. FML
Today, a guy informed me that the cute, really tiny little leather bracelet with little silver hearts and several snaps that I'd found in a head shop is actually a cock ring. I'm a girl. FML
Today, my girlfriend was telling me how sometimes things seem pretty impressive at first, but can turn out to be colossal disappointments when you try them out. "Like your cock," she bitterly finished. FML
Today, my girlfriend thought it'd be witty to buy a miniature stop sign, and hold it up when she gets bored during sex. FML
Today, I proposed to my girlfriend. She said yes, but the ring turned out to be quite tight on her finger. She then chewed me out, saying that I can't do anything right, then changed her answer to no. FML
Today, I proposed to my girlfriend. She said yes, but the ring turned out to be quite tight on her finger. She then chewed me out, saying that I can't do anything right, then changed her answer to no. FML
Today, I noticed that my penis looks tiny in my girlfriend's hands. Without thinking, I pointed it out to her. Now she thinks I have a small cock, and I think she has man-hands. Either way, we're both turned off. FML
Today, my girlfriend and I lost our virginity to each other, or so I thought. I heard her on the phone with her sister saying that I’m definitely the smallest dick she’s ever had, but the size of my bank account encourages her to overlook my shortcomings. FML
Today, in preparation for proposing to my girlfriend, I borrowed one of her rings so I could discreetly get her ring size. Not only have I now lost the ring, which turns out to be a keepsake from her dead grandmother, I still don't know her ring size. FML
Today, it was the first time I was about to have sex with my girlfriend of 3 years, since I'm self-conscious about my size. When she saw it, she started laughing. She was mad I didn't want to continue. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
Welshite 39
To be fair, if she is happy with you then there isn't any need to feel insecure.
jlaginski 10
It's not the size of the ship but the motion of the ocean. Keep rockin the boat!
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (124)
Welshite 39
To be fair, if she is happy with you then there isn't any need to feel insecure.
perdix 29
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
To me, the phrase "try something new in the bedroom" is a red flag -- a sign that the status quo is unsatisfactory. Maybe there is a need to be insecure.
Welshite 39
Sooo...you got that line often?
challan 19
My first thought was that they were the **** rings that go around your **** and balls that I've seen in movies. (watched purely for scientific purposes of course) I agree with P... That statement is a sign of things getting stale in the bedroom, but on a positive note, it means she loves you a lot, OP. Note to Op's girlfriend... The laughing probably didn't help the size. I can picture him shrinking with every giggle.
perdix 29
#37, yes, it usually comes soon after I finish paying off their car notes. Weird, huh?
KeXu 6
Boredom in the bedroom doesn't always equate to boredom in a relationship.
1217jonathan 15
@39 maybe she just didn't give him enough to get excited about, so they didn't fit :)
pnutbutternjelly 15
Honestly, my boyfriend and i have an amazing sex life without any toys or gadgets, but we still like to try out new things and play around with new toys. It is in no way a sign of our sex life getting stale. Not to say that this can't be the case here, just saying it isn't necessarily that.
CloudBustah 20
Yes... Scientific purposes...
Haduken 16
If you like it you shoulda put a ring on it
football98_fml 20
time for plastic surgery??
Queensland 27
If you consider spending thousands on plastic surgery just for your penis size, you should reevaluate your life decisions and goals.
mario2012 18
On your dick? Nah. Tying a 5 pound weight is waaaaaay better.
isallwaysme 27
#13, that, or you're really rich and you want a huge one
Treveyon56 14
Nah just do what Peter Griffin did. A car, rope, and a driver.
challan 19
Not all of us want a huge **** to play with, just like all men don't want double D's.
mario2012 18
Before I get buried, I was being sarcastic.
naznafeathers 22
@31, Giggity
Irchell 17
Right, and woman who want bigger breasts? Shouldn't that be judged the same then?
mulumequitem 6
Well it's for the better, not like he's doing it to go please other women :)
operator47 10
If it boosts his self confidence why not? Money is just a made up thing anyway.
MissClass 11
#3 You're an ass!
naznafeathers 22
Well hopefully at least you guys had fun trying something new. Chin up, OP :)
JAL10960 7
At least something would be up!
rich443 22
its not the size that matters it how you work it
Enslaved 36
She liked it and wanted to put a ring on it!
fareith 15
Actually its both. Just saying.
NINJAKITTY12345 11
It isn't the size of the fish, but the motion in the ocean that matters
fareith 15
So I get thumbed down for saying that? Is it not better to be big and skilled then puny and skilled? Really people use your heads.
Ripplez13 9
@104, not necessarily, it all depends on what the girlfriend wants or finds best.
jlaginski 10
It's not the size of the ship but the motion of the ocean. Keep rockin the boat!
rich443 22
its takes a long time to get to England in a row boat
lulubelles 33
You and #5 keep on telling yourselves that if it makes you feel better ;o)
monnanon 13
i agree thqt size does matter but not in the way people think. women are all differebt sizes inside so the secret to good sex is finding someone that fits you
rich443 22
I believe it more angle and curve to get the right spot but I agree small won't work for everyone
ozpunker 20
If a girl complains about size, it's probably due to her cavernous ******.
rich443 22
Weiner down a hallway situation
mickybay 16
#9 yeah but you don't want to be like the Titanic and crash half way through.
littlekellilee 45
I totally agree with it being about finding someone that fits you. With a very tight ****** that has an easy to access g spot, size doesn't matter at all. In fact bigger is a bit harder to deal with because you have to ease into it more.
tj5810 21
It's not the size of the ship or the motion of the ocean... It's whether or not the boat can stay in the port long enough for all the passengers to get off. ;)
buddy51 23
This FML seems half cocked and yet has a little ring of truth about it. I guess you're not exactly The Lord of the Rings, OP. Remember, it's never the size of the meat but the skill of the motion that wins the brass ring of glory!! Make do and chive on OP chive on!!!
1PersonIsMyWorld 22
so many puns... not sure which one to laugh at first..lol
Tdrizzzzzly 19
Might as well just go in chronological order, 57
Paco_el_Taco 17
She was a "little" upset!
ChakatBlackstar 29
Don't worry OP. It's not the size that matters, it's how you use it. I know it's a cliche but it's true. If a guy with four inches knows your body, preferences, etc. better then the guy with a dick twice his size, you'll end up going with the smaller one.
Queensland 27
It's true. Same with boob sizes. We can't change it! We gotta play the hand we are dealt.
MerrikBarbarian 9
Though op's problem isn't length and more a girth issue, but the point still holds. Heck I've known a guy who physically could not penetrate a girl he was so small, but didn't stop him rocking it in bed. Hands, mouth, toys, non penetrative contact... All can rock a girls world if you know what to do and her preferences. Most girls don't get off on penetration alone anyways.
kumonsucks 7
Take what god gave ya
friedpwnadge 25
Well at least his wedding ring fits right.