Today, my husband removed the TV from our bedroom to improve our sex life. Still no sex because he watches TV on his iPhone. FML
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Today, my husband told me that he is done having sex because it eats up his online gaming time. FML
Today, my husband decided he'd rather jerk off to the Wii Fit trainer than have sex with me. FML
Today, I told my husband I was horny and wanted to get it on. He agreed but first he had to finish the chapter he was reading, watch his show on Netflix, argue with strangers on Facebook, then do his workout. He had the nerve to cop an attitude when I was no longer in the mood. FML
Today, when I had a go at my husband for spending way too much time in front of the TV, he pointed the remote control at me while miming turning down the volume in order to make me shut up. FML
Today, my girlfriend complained that I don't initiate sex much anymore. The only way she will have sex is at night, lights out, covers on, TV turned up, and no foreplay or anything. It's so fucking boring, I'd rather just watch TV. FML
Today, I was watching TV with my husband, and he started getting frisky. When the commercial break started, we started having sex. When he came, there were still two commercials left before the show resumed. FML
Today, it took me two hours to put all the kids to bed, so all I wanted to do was watch TV but my husband, who'd spent all that time asleep on the sofa, started pestering me for sex like he thought he deserved it after I'd asked him for help 3 times before just doing all the work myself. FML
Today, I found out that my booty call only likes to have sex with me so afterwards he can watch ESPN on my plasma screen TV, because he has neither. FML
Today, on our honeymoon, we’ve only had sex twice. Meanwhile, my husband has masturbated to porn at least once a day since we've got here, and it’s super obvious because he gets sleepy as hell after sex or a wank, while I’m left frustrated with nothing to do except watch Netflix and start drinking before noon. FML
Today, I went to my bedroom for some alone time while my daughter watched TV. I didn't realize that my iPad was still connected to the Apple TV, until I hit play on some porn and heard a scream from the other room. FML
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Top comments
Dswank620 18
Send him some nudes in the midst of his t.v. watching
darwinism 30
Next time tell him "Honey, can you turn your voume down? I like to hear my vibrator as it pleases me"
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Comments (87)
Ms_ValS 27
Wow. At least he trired. Maybe hide his charger?
blackman100 20
Now for the follow through...
etoilenuit 15
Wear something sexy, waltz around the room, and then make your move. That'll get his attention.
chabelo 10
that's not gonna work.. im pretty sure that he's not watching tv, he's probably watching ****...oh phones these days
AKGirlinSD 20
^You hit the nail in the head. He's obviously more interested in other things than having sex. This usually means there are deeper issues going on here. Original Poster, have you asked to watch his **** with him so you both get in the mood together?
rahulcool7 14
Take away his phone
daniel_0084 14
I'm not exactly sure she has that right.
xlord 27
After taking his phone she should also spank him ;). Who knows, that might get things going...
roro_superloser 13
#38 that's better. She should use handcuffs too ;-)
UglyFatGirl 9
kinky people
Treveyon56 14
Don't forget the whip.
SwaggCapone 11
Or the whip cream
jjmiller1001 17
he went to a smaller screen..... that was a dumb move.
Dswank620 18
Send him some nudes in the midst of his t.v. watching
Uramonkey 11
Or put the T.V back in and watch a porno together
Keattles 14
I would say, rock his world, and his phone. Sorry OP FYL
dinosxxrawr 22
take away the phone. and the sex. his loss.
daniel_0084 14
She doesn't have the right to just take his phone away.
mduerden 18
**** you she doesn't....
BaselxD 8
Lol and the sex ?!!! have u even read the fml.
cynthieee__ 8
This is why smart phones ruin everything
BntyHntrSeattle 30
Agreed- dumbphones were the real deal.
Morgiepoooh9822 17
We're all just stupid people with smart phones. :)
theycallmekitty 13
Turn on a sexy show and act out a steamy scene.
Jazer22 10
How can you let pass SEX for Technology?!?!? Like where's your priorities man?!?! OP