Today, my 13-year-old daughter and I went to a tropical themed restaurant. She wanted a strawberry Daiquiri, so I asked the waitress for a virgin strawberry Daiquiri. My daughter then said, "But dad, I'm not a virgin." FML
Collection
Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves!
Same thing different taste
Specially for dad
Today, my daughter ran up to me and gave me a cup. She said it was lemonade that she made with her friend. When I took a sip, she giggled and ran back to her room. It was not lemonade. FML
Life goals
Today, my daughter told me she wants to be a stripper when she grows up, just like "Daddy's girlfriend." We're still married. FML
Today, I went to a frozen yogurt stand with my dad. One of the flavors was called "Juicy Cherry." I had to stand there and watch in horror as he told the woman running the stand all about how he'd like to taste her juicy cherry. FML
Today, my 12-year-old daughter informed me that she is eager to lose her virginity, "Because I don't want to be thrown into a volcano!" FML
Today, my daughter asked me to take her to Victoria's Secret so I could buy her some "sexy clothes". She's 9. FML
Irony failure
Today, I was telling my teenage daughter about the effects from alcohol, and how she should not give in to peer pressure. While talking, I noticed that she was looking at me funny. There was a wine glass in my hand. FML
Uptight girl, she's been living in her uptight world…
Today, my teenage daughter asked me how old I was when I lost my virginity. I sarcastically replied that I'm still a virgin. She looked at me blankly and said, "Jeez, no wonder you're so uptight. You need to get laid, mom." FML
Today, my mother and I went to Wal-Mart to buy pads. I suggested I get tampons instead, so that I can go swimming at my boyfriend's cottage. My mother then goes to the nearest store employee and asks, "excuse me, if my daughter uses a tampon, does that mean she is no longer a virgin?" FML
Today, my 15-year-old birth daughter asked if I've ever had sex. FML
Today, my daughter's teacher called me, very concerned, because my child told the whole class she's not a virgin anymore. The word is "vegan", Honey. FML
Top comments
Sir_ND_Pity 35
1 - Yes, yes she did :)
iLike2Teabag 27
Don't pretend like any other generation didn't do their share of questionable things.
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Comments (361)
okpfakpapk 14
Well.. ****.
maniaccy 8
What kind of father...
Sir_ND_Pity 35
1 - Yes, yes she did :)
WhoWhat_fml 10
Sometimes I wonder about this generation...
iLike2Teabag 27
Don't pretend like any other generation didn't do their share of questionable things.
HarroIAmBob 21
33- exactly, i hate how people always blame crazy shit people do on "this generation" when their generation has done equally stupid stuff.
ItsAnanya 25
#26 Not all of us are like this! I'm 14 and I have never even held a guys hand. This FML just makes me sad though. I believe your body and mind is not ready to engage in sexual activity at an age as young as 13. Sorry OP.
then000bster 16
@54 *are It's reassuring to know that there are the few out there who understand this.
Melix 31
Oh lord, I'm sorry to tell you, but she is probably going to be pregnant by 16. Unless she uses protection, no not at all...
Athleticism 11
Being the horny 13 year old boy I am, it was probably me that got her off.
Phoebe_Buffay 14
Same. I'm 14 too and a lot of people have boyfriends at my school, and they actually think I'm secretly lesbian because I prefer to focus on my school work. I strongly dislike my generation...
LordoftheOcelots 10
Now now 26, every generation has it's faults. I remember as a kid they'd try you for staring in Salem
NeatNit 32
Phoebe the Time Traveler?
rosenkrieger223 24
92, Just cause someone has a boyfriend or girlfriend at that age doesn't mean they're going all the way. In fact, most of them aren't. At least thats how it was 10 or 11 years ago when I was 13 or 14.
XxcaitanatorXx 12
Ike
MayaTheBee_fml 10
What exáctly does is matter whether you have a boyfriend at the age of 13/14 or not? That's their choice and, at the moment, they're happy. I however do not agree if you already commence in sexual intercourse at that age. You can perfectly have a boyfriend and be happy (probably only though if you're reasonable and don't go psycho, if it breaks up). Live, Laugh, LOVE. :) PS, I'm fourteen, have had one boyfriend (which some people are going to hate me for) and he broke up with me, because he was gay, BUT, I am a perfectly normal student in grammar school (meaning I don't go ditching classes and I practically can't even lie) and can perfectly think for myself, thank you :)
ThePK 5
54- well, the Romans thought it was perfectly fine for a girl to get married and have babies by 13. Then again, life expectancy was in the 40's so... The more you know. These tidbits are fascinating.
TheDrifter 23
The Romans also kept slaves and considered rape to be a part of plundering when they captured a city. Not to mention feeding people to lions for entertainment. Hardly the moral authority to be quoting.
rosenkrieger223 24
209, Regardless of the practices you stated, back then in most parts of the world, that was the norm. Physically, a boy's and girl's bodies are capable of childbirth. And, due to the shorter life expectancy as was stated, they had to get married and start a family earlier than what we're used to in order to compensate for it.
ThePK 5
209- Hardly the moral authority to be quoting? You must tell that to the Europeans and Americans who still emulate that society. Both Europeans and Americans had slaves. That rape was occurred during plundering is true, and still today we have that action in our marriage rights: the man carrying the woman through the threshold is from the Rape of Lucretia. As for the feeding people to lions, it was two parts effective. Only criminals fought and participated in the gladiatorial events, and it served as public entertainment to make the plebeians happy. Besides, gladiators could fight for their freedom as well. Morally that may seem wrong to just kill off criminals like that, but look at our prison system today where it costs millions to keep prisoners. I was not suggesting that teenage girls go out and get married and have children by 13, I was just stating that indeed the human body is, and has been, capable of such things by 13.
mfmylifesrsly 29
157 you'd be surpriaed by the amount of 13/14 year olds already sexually active...it's sad.
Phoebe_Buffay 14
157- I realize that just because you have a boyfriend/girlfriend it doesn't mean that you're going all the way. I'm just saying that I'm only a year older than OP's daughter, and I won't even date, let alone go all the way. :)
kat33_fml 7
#208 I know this wasn't the point of your post but technically the life expectancy was only 40 because that was an average since a lot of people died in childhood. If you made it past childhood there was a good chance you would make it to your 60s.
ajh557 22
stfu, they are not mentally ready or mature enough + what a waste of words^^
WeAreAHurricane 14
*Stands here at the age of 17 with no romantic experience* TALK TO ME WHEN YOU'VE HIT THE FOREVER ALONE BIG LEAGUES.
confundo 7
Hey no worries, I am also 17 with no romantic experience. It doesn't even bother me the slightest bit because It is by choice. Many guys have showed interest in me but I feel like I am young and don't want to waste my time giving guys a shot when I feel nothing for them. Out of all the guys I have ever met or laid eyes on, only one has ever caught my attention.
ermagherdaturdis 26
@205, of course you're going to defend the people your age. Why do people your age feel the need to be in 'deep' relationships. Frankly, it's quite hilarious for others to watch you edit your profile pics together and declare your undying love for each other after an hour of making it 'official' by changing your relationship status on Facebook.
breezyblue33 19
I wish more kids/teens had the same mindset as you.
Randomness90 27
I'm 16 and I'm the same way. I just wanna focus on college before I get in a relationship. Also I wanna figure out who I am before I get with someone.
sentryshooter777 4
ill hold your hand baby
WeAreAHurricane 14
Lol same here. I go to high school and college at the same time so no chance of even considering a boyfriend and even if I could no one guy has caught my attention enough.
ChunkyBuiscuit 13
You kidding? I'm a 90's baby and I never did stupid things. I do a few now but not much.
JPattonD 6
"only one has ever caught my attention" Sorry to be the one to tell you that you are a lesbian.
MichaelMcSexy 9
I see why you're in grammar school...
sunflowerchild 10
I can only imagine the look on the waitresses face
ThatFancyPenn 18
#37 but they didn't have sex before they were even 18!
DJisHere11 19
Uh, like the 70's maybe?
ohcheriecherie 20
it's always great when people are all "kids today are a sorry lot". sorry but I know what you guys did in the 60's
PizzaDeliveryGrl 19
209, You're describing literally every empire ever.
Already_Dead 15
Honestly, I had the opportunity to lose my virginity at age 13. I came really close to it, but no matter how much I wanted to be in that situation, I chickened out. Why? Because the man was 40 years old and wanted to meet me for sex. Who knows what could have happened? He was a pedophile. I reported him to the FBI instead. The reason I am saying this is: Op, it could have been a lot worse. She most likely had sex with someone her own age. Just think how much worse it would be if the man was much older than her. She should've waited, that's true, but as long as she doesn't engage in other risky activities, and promises to wait a few years before trying to have sex, then it's not that bad. Make sure she knows to be safe and watch for warning signs of rape. I mean it's a scary thought, but knowing before it happens can save her in the future. Just in case. This world is ****** up. Why deny It?
kittywolfie 3
#92 I can relate so well on that it's not even funny
CreepInTheCorner 11
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
At least she's honest?...
omgthisisgay 10
Stupid too....
hemz_fml 13
Yes lets lie for the rest of our lives. #53
rosenkrieger223 24
88, He was referring to this particular situation, not everything in general. Her being honest about losing her virginity at a ridiculously young age isn't going to reverse it. That's the point he was trying to make.
OnlyTheDarkest 17
At least she didn't do drugs.
confundo 7
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
Personally I think I'd rather find out my daughter is doing drugs than having sex at 13.
Rectov 10
You know drugs are much more likely to kill you right. Not saying I think it's ok just that.. Yeah
kdall7 4
At least she doesn't drink
B5B0N35 18
#21 They are both equally importantvto worry about
B5B0N35 18
Important to*
omgthisisgay 10
You don't know that. She could be drinking when her parents aren't around.
taniaaracely84 12
Yes, because drinking isn't as bad as having sex. They're both just as bad especially at that age.
feelingold 18
#3 - Doesn't drink? You reckon? Given that she wanted a Daquiri and had no idea what a "virgin" cocktail was, I think we can safely say that her sobriety is likely to be going the way of her virginity....
truth_teller23 11
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
Females are created to have sex and carry babies. If OP's daughter has gone through puberty there is nothing medically bad about having sex. It's just frowned upon. On the other hand, alcohol at a young age will affect your body medically. And I'm not condoning teens having sex, I'm just saying.
rosenkrieger223 24
I'm willing to bet that alcohol was probably involved in her losing her virginity. If she's having sex that young, I'm willing to bet she drinks too.
ShyAnn29 14
105, I knew what a strawberry Daiquiri was when I was that age, and didn't know that it was called 'virgin' when it didn't have alcohol in it, and I never drank alcohol and I still don't.
Hairnet 14
Actually sex at a young age can be very bad for you both for your mental and physical development. A girl is capable of sex from a very young age. In the 1930's a five year old girl in South-America gave birth to a son (who was also her half-brother). This is an extreme case but you can not say that she was ready for this or the sexual act that was forced on her. Likewise a thirteen year old child is not ready to have sex. It can mess up how she perceives it and can stunt her pubescent growth.
doodlecloud 26
159, what an ironic username....puberty does NOT mean children are ready for sex (not for baby producing anyway, which seems to be your reason here). In some countries it's common to marry girls off to older guys as soon as they have their period. They fall pregnant and, guess what? A good number of them die during childbirth because, although they've had their period, their bodies still aren't ready for that.
Flowsidon 6
Wtf. How would you even know if she does or not?
wallandpiece 16
You're all complete morons. Stop stereotyping teenagers and trying to "**** shame", it's pathetic and slightly misogynistic. None of you know anything about this girl.
AngrySailor 17
Only because the drink was impotent...
monnanon 13
201 wtf do you think puberty does in a woman if it doesnt prepare the body to carry children. by 15 years old i was fully developed, physically at least, as a woman aa were most of my female classmatew. im not saying that makes sex ok as soon as you are physically capable but think about the age of consent. its 16 where i am from, some people are ready at 15 some are not ready until 17, 18 or even 21 but an age has been picked where most are deemed physically ready.
jarrettd 27
This generation. 13 is just to young.
wolfgold2 20
Based on your picture, 6 is just right? Just Kidding.
emeraldisle 30
*too
jarrettd 27
It has been 10 seconds and i have been corrected. I'm so sorry for my terrible mistake of mixing up to and too. I will go sit in the corner now.
kxxjoejoexxk 8
Yes because the previous generations totally werent screwed up in some way
_DudeGuy_ 16
First off, all generations have their flaws. Secondly, human nature does not dictate this aspect of how we act, that is determined by how we are raised. So basically, most of the children in my generation are stupid fools, but you are the ones who raised them to be like that.
emeraldisle 30
40 - actually it had been about 8 minutes before I corrected you but I'll cut you some slack this time. ;)
yawateverok 10
I'm 13 and never kissed or had a boyfriend.
yawateverok 10
I'm 13 and never kissed or had a boyfriend.
_DudeGuy_ 16
73, the fact that being 13 and not being in a relationship is strange nowadays, just shows how badly our generation is screwed up.
Callyn 47
For most of human history, girls would have been married and pregnant by 13 or 14. It's not just young people now, it's young people for all of human history.
TheDrifter 23
Actually, 15 was the age old standard, with boys entering apprenticeships at 13 and marriage expected once they knew enough of their trade to provide for a wife.
Cinn_fml 22
On average, throughout history boys were usually older than the girls they were married to. Girls were bargaining chips for their parents, and as a result they had little to no need for education or work in their parent's eyes. Boys did, however, as they were the providers and had to have achieved something before they were deemed "worthy" enough by the parents to marry their daughter.
HaraAishi 8
They also died by 30-50 though. When my grandmother was born, her mom was only 14. The only reason she didn't get shipped out was because she got married.
gracehi 31
139, Shipped out? Shipped out where? For what purpose? I'm genuinely curious.
yawateverok 10
84 - Yes, I get made fun of. Not like I really care.
morella_xx 29
#139, people were NOT dying at an average age of 30-50, especially not people in your grandma's generation. This has got to be my biggest pet peeve about misunderstood history and you just inflated it ridiculously. Any statistics you see declaring 30 to be an average lifespan (which is usually applied to the Middle Ages, not the freaking 1940s) are factoring in young babies' deaths. Lots of kids died young, but generally if you made it past toddlerhood, you were good to go for another 60-ish years. Sorry to go off topic, I was just astounded by the ignorance being spouted here.
rosenkrieger223 24
169, You beat me to it. 30 or so was the average lifespan. However, since infant mortality was incredibly high, it tended to skew that average down.
JtPv 14
DON'T PRETEND OTHER GENERATIONS DIDN'T HAVE THEIR SHARE!
HaraAishi 8
143, they would send them to homes for unwed teenaged mothers or to relatives. They didn't want to be associated with a pregnant teen.
SkyGuy32 17
Last year in my small private school, two 12 year old girls gave handjobs. Keep in mind, my whole middle school had around 80 students. My class had 19.
1PersonIsMyWorld 22
149--- I genuinely think u kick ass! keep the awesomeness going!
HaraAishi 8
169, I was meaning to make that a separate point. I wasn't meaning around when my Nana was born.
Geekyandproud 19
I'm 13 yeah I've had a boyfriend but not really serious. I wouldn't dare have sex; while we like to think we are grown up we're still children and children shouldn't have sex. Enough said.
jarrettd 27
64 i'm sorry they are thumbing you down. I appreciate the correction and found it funny.
threer 30
At least he/she gets thumbs ? I wanted to thumbs down just so the number could look bigger, but I thumbed up because it was a good comment..
gsagunner 5
thats what society makes you think. back in the olden days at the age of 14 girls were being married.
onaa3r 10
You realize that before society deemed the teenage years too.young to have sex (which I totally agree with, btw), people In past civilizations were married by that age? I'm js, it's bad, but not a damnable offense
Fluffyturtle21 20
Lost mine at 15, still 15
princessAj1 6
Well now we know how she lost her Virginity, drinking Strawberry daiquiri, sucks that's she's only 13
HowAreYouToday 34
No, no, no. She lost her virginity *to* Strawberry Daiquiri.
r_bruce69 19
Wow, she's literally a dumb ****. Poor OP
tanekdrachonae 19
Wait...what the actual ****?
truth_teller23 11
Yes, OP's daughter did actual *******.
tragicnightmare 15
Am I the only one here actually wondering what the expression on the waitresses face was?
tanekdrachonae 19
I wonder as well, but, I'm guessing her mouthing holy shit and walking away for a minute.
the_torch 6
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
Wow...you must be the worst parent on the planet if you let your daughter mix with the wrong company and get her cherry popped. Shame on you
princessAj1 6
She could have done it behind his back like most teenagers do.
punkyboy 11
it's not the dads fault he can't hover over his daughter through her teenage years it's the daughters fault for making the decision to have sex at her age
Chellybelly92 14
Strait A's honor students have sex while still in school. Why don't you come down your high horse for a bit?
samabomination 19
It's the kids decision actually... Her dad couldn't be like IF YOU HAVE SEX I WILL SHOOT THE MAN YOU HAD IT WITH! Even if he did then she would've done it just to piss him off. Teenagers aren't exactly known for listening to authority figures very well.
jarrettd 27
I doubt op was nearby when it happened.
gabe222 25
Actually #35, in most states it is not the teens decision until about 16 or 17... Not saying teens don't make the decision, I sure did and I regret it... There are laws restricting it for a reason, honestly, the kid never got the sex talk from what i'm understanding.
rocker_chick105 31
177- whether there's a law or not the kids don't care. They had sex, their decision. How can it not be their decision? A law can't dictate decisions until a certain age..
rememberkids 14
In Canada, as long as the partner was not over the age of 18, its legal (the age of consent is 16, with close in age laws for persons under 16). Over 18, that nets u the charge of sexual interference of a person under 16 years of age.
archnarquibquib 21
#177- Actually, in most states, age is only an issue with an age gap over 2-5ish years. Even so, they won't care, they will do it anyway. parents can only press charges if their kids are under age of consent and they are over the maximum age limit for the state.
therealcheese 7
Hey asshole **** you. He could never really know who she hangs with. He cant spy on her in ******* school.
joea21 21
Here here!
DeathcoreDashie 11
Congratulations, on the most downvoted FML I've ever seen.
WiseGuy79 14
Holy crap in a hat that's the last thing a dad wants to hear from his 13 year old...
gloooooria 14
Or any year old.
jjmiller1001 17
yes, but every dad knows it will happen.... eventually
idgafSOstfu 15
'Holy crap in a hat.' Best thing I've herd all day.
Busybeth98 16
167- My sister tends to say "frick on a stick." It's really entertaining.
IscoreOnU 19
Better than "I'm pregnant"
gabbi630 16
"But dad, i only got 2 STD."
rosenkrieger223 24
175, So true. Unfortunately, if the daughter keeps up this habit of poor decision making, it will almost undoubtedly lead to that in the near future.
LennyComa 39
Yeah....I don't know what to say to that. Good luck man