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Today, after going out to dinner with my girlfriend, we went back to my place and things started getting hot. I went in the bathroom and put on a green condom. She wouldn't have sex with me because it looked "like a cucumber" and "cucumbers are nasty." FML

#20745688
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44321) - you deserved it (11008)

On 06/25/2013 at 12:22am - intimacy - by dan (man) - United States (Arizona)

Top comments

Yeah, cucumbers suck!! They are only useful if you dunk them in a salty, acid solution or slice them finely to put over swollen eyelids. Is that what you want for your dick?

You should always go with yellow condoms -- they drive the ladies . . .

*lowers sunglasses*

bananas.

#11 - On 06/25/2013 at 6:14am by perdix

See in context

she needs to eat her vegetables.

#3 - On 06/25/2013 at 6:08am by dinosxxrawr

See in context

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