Today, I walked into the room naked while my wife was on the computer to surprise her. She smiled, put down her laptop and left for the bathroom so I started jerking it in anticipation. It was really feeling good until my wife's best friend, who was on Skype, started giggling. FML
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Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves!
Today, I came home and saw my girlfriend on the computer. I decided to sex things up and sneak up on her naked from behind. Apparently, she was video-chatting with her friends at the time. They saw everything. FML
Today, my girlfriend text me and told me to do something sexy because she was going to FaceTime me. I eagerly dropped my pants and started stroking it to get ready for her. As soon as I opened her call, she was standing with my wife. I literally got caught with my dick in my hand. FML
Today, I walked in on my husband in our room completely naked. At first I thought he was waiting for me so we could have sex. He hadn't seen me yet, so I started to undress too to surprise him. Then I saw that he had drawn a face on his penis and he was talking to it. FML
Today, I was standing by the bed, naked, waiting for my wife to come out of the bathroom. She opened the door and walked over to me, swinging her hips, wearing practically nothing. At about four feet from me, she tripped on the edge of the floor mat, and used my junk to catch herself. FML
Today, my dad walked in on me jerking off. It wouldn’t have been so bad if I wasn’t Skyping my boyfriend, while both of us were totally naked. I had just told him to “put those toes in your mouth and I’ll cum like you’ve never seen before”. FML
Today, my soon-to-be mother-in-law walked in on me masturbating, in my own house. FML
Today, I was about to have sex with my wife, so I walked into our room naked, but then whacked myself in the nuts with the door handle as I attempted to close it. She can't stop laughing, and I can't sit down. FML
Today, when my girlfriend walked out the room, for a laugh, I covered my whole body except my knob in blankets. Then when I heard her come back in, I yelled, "Surprise!" It was her mom, who'd dropped by unannounced. FML
Today, I was in my room with the door locked and my mom knocked on the door. I said "don't come in, i'm naked!" She said "That's okay!" so she unlocked the door and walked in. I was masturbating. FML
Today, I walked in on my wife masturbating. Naturally, I asked her if she needed some help. She replied, "Nah, I've got this." FML
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Top comments
DocBastard 38
Well that'll make your next dinner party awkward. It's probably bad that she was giggling rather than gasping in awe.
thosedogtags 8
Your wife is sneaky.. Although, I wouldn't want my best friend seeing my husbands junk... Maybe it's her way of wanting a threesome?! Get it son! (;
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Comments (117)
Aloyese 11
Hey! At least you have them something to laugh about for months! Or years..
caplox 6
or centuries
ry24 12
Either way it will certainly make for an awkward relationship with the wife's friend
gc327072 30
Centuries eh? Perhaps by 2340, we'll all get "Skype flash day" off. Yay holidays!
DudeEvil 22
Well, his wife doesn't seem to mind. Give her friend a good show, OP, and make it awkward for her instead. XD
uhhSavage 22
Thuh-ree-suuuum!
DocBastard 38
Well that'll make your next dinner party awkward. It's probably bad that she was giggling rather than gasping in awe.
Pleonasm 35
They'll be serving cocktail sausages and gherkins to take the piss out of him, if you get my ****-t
Bakarra 22
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
And salami, oh god there will be so much salami. **** it there will be a whole meat platter, go big or go home.
Bakarra 22
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
I know what he was saying, I just figured OP would compensate for his giggle-worthy package with tons of meat at the next get together, plus it was lunch time when I commented an I was hungry :)
Eamon666 3
Ha GAAAY
thosedogtags 8
Your wife is sneaky.. Although, I wouldn't want my best friend seeing my husbands junk... Maybe it's her way of wanting a threesome?! Get it son! (;
bamagrl410 31
What I don't understand is how OP didn't notice the Skype screen. When you're on a laptop, the webcam faces you. And if it was left open to where he was on camera, I'd think he'd notice someone's face across a screen... No? Just me?
OuchAndGoodfight 5
You can be video chatting with someone and have the screen to see them minimized or hidden while having yours maximized.
thosedogtags 8
You can have the actual Skype screen(s) minimized while still being on camera..
hendix 17
Ya I agree there, a computer screen is obvious! I doubt he was paying attention to it at all until he heard the giggles. I say go for the threesome ;)
wjh100 13
clearly states in the fml she shut her laptop. so either she has a separate webcam or this fml is fake
felipe87 2
Sounds like the wife was setting him up, possibly for a threesome
thosedogtags 8
Isn't that what I just said...?
Snowkeys 11
Why do I have the feeling your wife knew she left Skype on. Lol.
FarFromSocial 9
What was your first clue?
TheManager 6
Why do I get the feeling that you're Sherlock Holmes?...
lambda_fml 40
#27 Because you are using an overused comment phrase inappropriately.
FarFromSocial 9
It's elementary my dear Watson.
Snowkeys 11
I re-read the Fml. It appears that I may be sherlocks distant mentally challenged cousin. Haha I apologize.
Catkam623 27
Or just Watson.
EsotericBrent 29
^Well played.
21jason 9
Sherlock Holmes actually never said "it's elementary my dear Watson "
FarFromSocial 9
#84 oh well.
roxxyfoxxy3 25
#82-Agreed ^ ^
Lissur 3
Well that's embarrassing.
Pleonasm 35
FML has a quota to fill in generic replies or else the site funding from GenericGen™ phrase generator is cut.
lambda_fml 40
#20 I would like to contribute to the site's funding by writing another generic comment: F Your Life OP!
garrett1999o3 16
It seems that the people on Fmylife.com know more grammar then me.FML?
gc327072 30
Or, my personal fav, (and the reason I no longer moderate) is this: "Today, my life sucks FML" I mean, SERIOUSLY?!
lilhellian 26
I'm just wondering why she left the laptop open.. Could be a hint?
bestnameright 14
...A hint to what?...
Catkam623 27
I don't know?maybe a threesome/sarcasm
Mikeskinner 7
Well. Sharing is caring!
hordriss 14
Oops! How embarrassing.
lilhellian 26
Naw! That couldn't possibly be why it's on FML! I thought he was just sharing the back story to a threesome!
Bakarra 22
It's not like it matters, everyone knows alot of girls tell their friends about how good her boyfriend is in the sack. Shame on your wife for leaving the speaker on though, sneakyness failed.
VannahJane 17
The way i read it, i was led to assume the wife meant for her friend to see it and wanted her husband to notice
Bakarra 22
I could see that but to me if it was meant to be a joke then the wife would have said something after instead of letting it become an fml-worthy situation as the husband clearly felt it was
VannahJane 17
I guess either way is possible, we wont really know.
Bakarra 22
Maybe we will get a follow up but yea otherwise you are correct ma'am
xInwex 12
Wife level: troll
Tdrizzzzzly 19
Troll level: wife?