Today, my fiancé had to perform his first prostate exam. He told me he was quite nervous about it, so I reminded him that he did fine on his first pelvic exam last month. His response: "Yeah, but I've had my hands up plenty of vaginas already." FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I got prostate examination for the first time. Now I can't decide what's worse, the fact that I got a boner when the doctor inserted his finger, or the fact that my wife told the story to pretty much everybody we know. FML
Today, I was telling my mom that I was really nervous about going to the gynecologist for the first time. Her response, "Oh don't worry, it's not like it's the first time you've spread your legs!" FML
Today, I had to get a prostate exam. Right before the doctor started, he told me that if I found it awkward at all, I should just imagine I was being probed by aliens. FML
Today, I went to go see a specialist for my prostate and was told he would have to do an exam before I could leave. Having had this checked just the previous year, I was more than a little irritated. As I was bent over the table the Dr. said, "Now, just pretend I'm Angelina Jolie." FML
Today, it was the first time I ever saw a vagina in person. It was during medical school training on how to do a pelvic exam. FML
Today, after a year of coaxing, I got my boyfriend of 18 months to agree to have sex with me. He decided his first course of action was to try to shove his flaccid penis into my unlubricated vagina. FML
Today, I shaved my vagina for the first time ever. Had sex with my husband and then asked if he liked that. He said, "You've done that before, though". I haven't. We've been married 15 years. FML
Today, I went on a first date. Everything was going well until he asked me, "So, what's the biggest thing you've stuck up your vag?" FML
Today, my girlfriend thought it would be a good idea to help me get over the fear of my upcoming rectal exam by surprising me with one of her own halfway through our lovemaking. FML
Today, I was getting dirty with my boyfriend. It was the first time he had fingered anyone, and the only thing he said was, "It feels like the inside of my asshole." FML
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Top comments
XDsmileyDX_fml 24
Practice makes perfect.
DocBastard 40
I teach my medical students that prostate exams are a lot like weight lifting - there's a lot of grunting and moaning and sweating, and one guy always feels tired at the end.
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Comments (28)
etchsanity1 11
Why is this an FML?
XDsmileyDX_fml 24
Practice makes perfect.
lilhellian 27
Friends can certainly help!
ColdplaySucks 18
No one is perfect. Why practice?
Wimoweh 10
But practice makes perfect. So why not?
wlddog 14
I always thought it was perfect practice that makes perfect. Just because I practice holding my breath under water doesn't mean I will grow gills.
kishorekumar_a 10
44 - It's a never ending cycle, ultimately meaning you should never stop practicing... he he he
Bubbelz 25
No it's not. Once someone practiced enough, someone's perfect. Inb4 Pokemon references.
Synistiel 14
44- I've always been told "Practice doesn't make perfect. It makes you better at something." To me there's always room for improvement, even if its a tiny adjustment.
saraitkddh 47
and nobody perfect so why practice?
killatrev 4
Third!!!
young_weezy_fml 3
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
and? it's his job, calm your ****
JenkJenks 6
I don't think the aforementioned vaginas he had his hand up had anything to do with his job.
icryevrytime 7
Ha, aforementioned vaginas
tararochelle 18
But last month was his first pelvic exam, so the vaginas he's referring to were for fun not work.....
DanielleinDC 34
I think he meant that having his hand up a woman's ****** to do a pelvic was no big deal because he's had his hand up many vaginas in the context of pleasure. Someone should remind him that there is a difference between sexual touching and clinical touching.
Panda_Shy_Haven 17
Haha ****
ninjaqueen101 18
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
He gets around.. Awkward.
squideth 18
Yes, heaven forbid people enjoy their sexual desires (as long as they're responsible). Don't ****-shame.
Welshite 40
As long as he says "no ****" before doing the examination, he'll be fine.
XDsmileyDX_fml 24
Your profile picture... Get out...
Cartera 10
Welshite, did you do 10 pounds of meth before writing your profile description?
lilhellian 27
15 It was catnip..
ManInTheMachine 20
I hope to God your account was hacked, Welshite.
lilhellian 27
26 Bad thing about it is, no swaggot has enough brains to hack..
ilovedinosawers 17
No he was on dandruff.
The_Water_Ninja 9
his description... I almost feel as it I'm being trolled...
profligatesoul 18
That could work for a lot of situations
SammyS2012 21
it seems hacked to me... i liked his profile before and it doesnt seem like him; unless he did a complete 180
DocBastard 40
Fear not for Welshite. That last sentence of the first paragraph absolutely stinks of KaySL. She must be up to her old hax0ring again.
sux4u121 10
I don't kniw what to say here welshy, I imagined this and I chuckled, guess it's not everybodys' cup of tea.
teareb 9
Or he doesn't have to say anything since its his job.-_-
Marvin_Kay 10
Guys its a reference from the boondocks
bubbalax9 9
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
I don't see the problem. He's been with other women, I'm sure you've been with other women too. Just remember that he's with you now and I'm sure he loves you!
sofiery 9
who says that the OPs a man/lesbian?
nakiarain 9
I don't think it matters. Correct me if I'm wrong but hearing about your partners past isn't really pleasant for anyone..
ProctorKProducti 5
Who says she's straight?
xTrepidation 14
Just tell him to avoid eye contact afterwards.
HeartOfLead 24
False, OP's fiancé must keep constant eye contact during the entire exam. He might as well be taking him to dinner afterwards!
BronayPonay 6
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
Maybe he means just in general and not recently? (except of course yours)
boarderlyne17 8
I fail to see how that makes it any less bothersome.
Cbizzlez 10
Doesn't surprise me, doctors can get laid A LOT
DocBastard 40
We can? Hm, that's news to me. I'm afraid **** has lied to you. I assure you that the nurses are not dropping their panties in the elevators at the sight of us.
Enslaved 38
Hell! the many doctors I personally know all have multiple girlfriends (if you can call them that!):P
Bakarra 22
22- ****? More like scrubs and Greys Anatomy...haha