Today, after more than a year of being single, I finally had sex. Unfortunately, it was only in a dream, and after we finished, he told me that I'm terrible in bed. Even my dream-lover is a dick. FML
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Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves!
Today, I was finally having sex with the man of my dreams, and then he fell asleep on top of me. FML
Today, I was about to hook up with my crush, but he turned out to have a micro penis and couldn’t even get it hard. Then I woke up. I can’t even get laid properly in my dreams. FML
Today, I married a wonderful man. Even though both of us were no longer virgins, we decided to wait until marriage to sleep together. He just told me I was the worst he's ever had. FML
Today, I had plans for a romantic night with my boyfriend, who is perfect in every way possible. We were going to have sex for the first time as well. Unfortunately, I had a dream last night about him shitting all over me and I can't look at him with a straight face. FML
Today, I had sex with the guy who had been the main subject of my bean-flicking fantasies since I met him. It was the absolute worst sex of my life. I guess some things are just better left to the imagination. FML
Today, after six long, hard years of involuntary celibacy, I was finally about to get laid. Except it was just a dream, and in it my mom stormed in just as things got heated, called me a useless cunt, and told me to go do my chores. I guess my brain forgot I moved out years ago. FML
Today, after years of pretty much no sex from my long term partner, I admitted I was having dreams about sex with other people, hoping to get a reaction from him. However, he didn't react at all. FML
Today, I woke up from the most sensual dream I've had in months. Unfortunately, despite it being better than any action I've had in a long time, the dream was about me fucking a donut. FML
Today, I dreamed that I was making out with a cute girl. Just as I was about to take it to the next level, she suddenly burst into tears and said, "I'm sorry, I can't do this." I can't even get laid in my dreams. FML
Today, I woke up to my boyfriend trying to initiate sex with me in my sleep. He confessed to thinking that if he did it lightly enough, I'd think I was just dreaming. FML
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Top comments
Whytetrash 21
Those are some serious self-esteem issues you have there.
kingsian 15
At least it was a dream and not reality. Don't be so hard on yourself.
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Comments (78)
Whytetrash 21
Those are some serious self-esteem issues you have there.
hanymandy 6
I was about to write the same thing
sens3sfailing 24
im a virgin, so I would be able to boost your confidence by telling you truthfully that it was the best sex I have ever had.
lilhellian 26
Until you screw someone like Mila Kunis.. Than you have bragging rights
kingsian 15
At least it was a dream and not reality. Don't be so hard on yourself.
lostcrazydiamond 10
Is this the real life?
pedinhuh 23
Is this a fantasy?
daphish 10
Caught in a landslide.
hipsterhunter 9
No escape from reality
DocBastard 38
Never gonna give you up Never gonna let you down Never gonna run around and desert you
kingsian 15
Hey friend! I'm so happy you came to join my thread! And you even sang me a little song!
Kkkdawg 27
Oh, Rick
sens3sfailing 24
I favorited this fml just for the rick roll!
sarah6786 14
At least it was just a dream though. Hopefully you will find a new lover soon! :)
Bluekaren16 19
Don't let this get you down. There will be other dream lovers.
I_iz_B_a_troll 23
She wants a dream lover, so she don't have to dream aloneee. Man, I love that song.
buddy51 23
But was your dickish dream lover any good in bed himself?
Bluekaren16 19
#7 - If he wasn't then that is what the real fml should be. Who cares what he thinks as long she enjoyed herself.
Catkam623 27
Sweetie you need to get laid.
Whytetrash 21
That was her point
BadApple88 29
you should ********** until you find someone
I_iz_B_a_troll 23
I'm imagining a hot guy slowly coming out of her ****** as she masturbates now, interesting mental image. "Oh ahh ohhhh, here he is!"
BellaBelle_fml 23
That was disgusting. This is not a **** chat group.
I_iz_B_a_troll 23
I was just interpreting 9's comment literally, I thought it was funny.. There was no sexual intention behind it, lighten up!
happle 21
While it was disturbing, I caught myself laughing at it.
420Zombie 17
16-you took that in the strangest and most awkward direction imaginable -_-
ICastillo 24
#16 that was interesting . You should write erotic books. I would buy a copy.
ThePsyche 9
At least you can have sex in your dreams. Last guy on FML couldn't even score in his.
wdd2 5
I know that feeling, ive been single since may 2010, havent even gotten lucky in my dreams.
iAlissa 34
That's more of a nightmare, not a dream.
happle 21
A nightmare is more like George Clooney raping you, shooting your boyfriend after you squeal, then cutting off your left hand.
happle 21
A nightmare is more like getting raped by George Clooney, him shooting your boyfriend after you squeal, and then cutting off your left hand.