Today, I actually considered my boyfriend romantic and deserving of an award when he didn't fart after sex. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my boyfriend and I finally had sex. The entire time he kept begging me to fart, especially on him. FML
Today, my boyfriend came over for the first time and we were alone. He was being super romantic and snuggling with me, and then out of nowhere he let out the biggest fart I've ever heard. He then explained how I should try to compete with it. FML
Today, my long-term boyfriend and I went on a romantic getaway. In the hotel we were having great sex, I was so close to… and then he farted. FML
Today, my boyfriend proposed to me. While getting down on one knee, he farted. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were getting intimate. It was going well until I accidentally passed gas. To add to the embarrassment, he rated it. I only got a 4 out of 10. FML
Today, my boyfriend of three years proposed to me. He brought me to our favorite restaurant and ordered expensive champagne. It was all very romantic, until he got on one knee and I farted out of surprise. Loudly. FML
Today, after weeks of no sex, my boyfriend finally decided to have sex with me. While we were getting into it I accidentally farted in his face while his mouth was open. No more sex for me. FML
Today, as my husband normally initiates sex and sometimes I want to but always chicken out, I was feeling brave and did so. After he came, he continued working on me and I farted. I embarrassingly apologized and he said it was ok and kept going. I then continued to fart, and I had to stop. FML
Today, I had sex with my boyfriend. When we finished, he mentioned that he made me queef. I didn’t have the heart to tell him I actually farted during sex. FML
Today, I was cuddling my boyfriend before going to bed. He farted really loud and spat in my face as he laughed. FML
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Top comments
mega20913 8
all the comments above me are negative in votes...tough crowd this morning
Mideoyeo 12
Maybe giving him an award will condition him to not fart after sex, try it!~
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Comments (118)
reborndarkangel 9
give him an award in the form of a fart !
Eluveitie 9
So romantic.
happle 21
And mature.
DyslexicPanda 12
Sounds like he's got OP trained...
klovemachine 24
I guess his fart was able to pay the rent :D
fdupagain 11
73 A+ for adding grandma in there
Mideoyeo 12
Maybe giving him an award will condition him to not fart after sex, try it!~
Bostern 29
Maybe that was his plan...
luminos77 3
Pavlov's dogs
RedPillSucks 33
Pavlov's fart. The sweet smell of conditioning
FastidiousPear 6
At least he didn't fart during?
alexsam_fml 10
also next time he farts, punish him :D
Pleonasm 36
What? I often find the smell of skatole and dimethyl sulfide very romantic and touching on the heart, and even get very turned on by methanethiol and hydrogen sulfide! You just aren't living on the edge! Sew with farts can be a gas!
MWidderAUDI 14
what the hell?
MidnaLink 35
...those are the natural gases that occur in a fart, but what the hell is skatole?
cupcakechick 17
hes being sacastic people
alitbaby 14
skat is poop. hole is the hole poop comes out of lol. think......
perdix 31
#63, no, skatole is the chemical compound that makes shit smell like, well, . . . shit.
Pleonasm 36
Lol some of the suggestions are ridiculous. These are some of the chemicals that maje up a fart.
olhuma 5
You sound like this was one of your science projects in Junior high... ;-)
jarrettd 27
How did you get thumbed down pleon? Those elementary schoolers came out of school mad today, haw.
Satoaoi 13
I never knew teh chemicals thanks lol
magymofucka 9
he's a guy. guys do that. maybe you should stop complaining & enjoy the fact that you just got laid. -_-
MikeonFML 17
Girls can get laid anytime they want, it's no feat for them.
magymofucka 9
#9 - true but still. but my point is that i wouldn't be complaining about my boyfriend farting. it's really not that serious.
MikeonFML 17
Yeah I'd agree, nothing that can't be solved with a little communication, despite being hardly serious to begin with.
FFML_314 12
Guys can get laid anytime they want too. There are plenty of very desperate girls out there. It's just a matter of how low you're willing to sink to get laid.
MikeonFML 17
There's a dramatic disparity...if you're at a party, chances are you aren't going to leave to go find desperate girls you don't know. Girls on the other hand can always hook up if they want to. There are also more guys at 90% of parties. I know plenty of instances when ugly girls get with guys who have done much better, and almost 0 vice versa.
magicbear 3
Maybe you should reconsider your low standards
I_iz_B_a_troll 24
15, the difference is even the most desperate girls have to be pursued; unless you look like Brad Pitt, girls aren't going to just come up to you. So for a shy guy like me, there's really no way I could just go out and "get laid," whereas even those ugly girls are going to have horny guys willing to pursue them. They just have to sit around and dress slutty and they can find a guy in minutes, if I sat around and dressed slutty all the girls would just run away! Oh well, I've matured enough by now to realize "getting laid" shouldn't be the focus of my life, so I'll be okay being alone until I find what I really want. :P
RedPillSucks 33
Who the hell wants to have sex with someone who does a noxious reverse belch afterwards? It ruins the moment when all you can think of is "oh, ooh. Here it comes". Let me tell you, some guys can put a skunk to shame.
akiahara 14
Being of a certain gender is no excuse for being disgusting. If it's involuntary, maybe, but otherwise... just go to the bathroom or something.
FFML_314 12
Yeah, I stand by my comment. Clearly, none of you have ever been an ugly girl and more than that, a fat girl. There are desperate people all over the place. Men and women.
JONNBOY88 9
Marry me #4
andyyroxx 20
For the benefit of you both, digestive enzymes or simethicone may well be the best suited reward.
I_iz_B_a_troll 24
A simé thic one? Semi thick one? That wouldn't fix the problem, only recreate it ;)
andyyroxx 20
Simethicone is a mild drug that reduces surface tension, but I'm sure I just missed out on your joke :P
Tezoma 28
Everybody farts, OP. It happens. "Romantic and deserving of an award" are going a bit far over something so insignificant.
magicbear 3
Everybody doesn't fart right after sex. He sounds like a rude jerk
Tezoma 28
I didn't say right after sex, but if you have to then you have to.
facepalmtoomuch 8
Funny how you pay full attention to even notice that he farts every time after having sex.
sens3sfailing 25
Hard to not notice a fart, and when it ruins the mood, it sticks with you
klutz44 28
How would you not notice? I guess you could cover your ears and plug your nose but that seems silly.
waffule365 16
sex is a lot of exercise and exercise makes a lot of people gassy. just sayin
Puffytruffles 18
Your stupidity just blew me away.
andyyroxx 20
It doesn't make people gassy, it stimulates movement in the colon and peristalsically pushes byproducts of bacterial fermentation out, I'd hate if exercise itself made me gassy!
kittenmeownyan 18
Farting is natural though
DocBastard 40
So is cancer. Just because something is natural doesn't mean you want it in your face.
docscientist 10
Yeah, but farts don't make the habit of killing you.
Catkam623 27
Apparently some silent but deadlies smell like they might actually kill and are enough to evacuate a classroom.
sparklypumpkins 13
So you never fart..?
RedPillSucks 33
I think the key here is "right after sex".
asb818 14
And just about every time.