Today, my boyfriend found out that if guys eat fruit often, their sperm will taste better. He bought a can of fruit for himself to eat, and said that he bought it just for me. This is the most romantic thing he's ever done. FML
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Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves!
Today, my boyfriend excitedly showed me his new juicer, and used up all the fruit in the house making new concoctions. It was adorable until later on, in the middle of getting frisky, he asked if we could go to the grocery store to buy more fruit. FML
Today, I walked in on my boyfriend trying to have sex with a piece of fruit. FML
Today, my boyfriend told me the thing that gets him really horny. Apple sauce. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I went to the store to buy oranges and pick up a pack of condoms. When we were at the checkout counter, my boyfriend happily told the cashier, "The only way we can have sex is if we squeeze oranges all over our bodies." FML
Today, I surprised my girlfriend by sending her an Edible Arrangement. When she called to tell me she had gotten it, she was more excited about the cute boy who'd delivered it than she was about the fruit bouquet. FML
Today, on the way out to buy groceries, my boyfriend asked if I'd like him to buy some of my favourite flowers. Happy with his rare show of affection, I said yes. When he returned, he gave me a bag of our usual brand of flour and laughed hysterically in my face. FML
Today, my boyfriend wrote me poetry. Here's how it went: "Roses are red, violets are blue, I suck at poetry, show me your tits." That's the most romantic thing he's done for me. FML
Today, I told my husband how frisky I was feeling, and asked him what he was going to do about it. He reached into our fruit bowl, tossed me a banana and told me to work it out, then returned to his video game. FML
Today, my boyfriend told me I smell like vegetables. FML
Today, I was at a party with my boyfriend meeting all of his friends for the first time. My boyfriend went into the kitchen to get me a drink, and after ten minutes I went looking for him. I discovered his friend holding two melons to his chest, mid explanation on how they look exactly like mine. FML
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Top comments
360XBOXFTW 0
How sweet of him :)
toelie 26
So, does it?
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Comments (225)
360XBOXFTW 0
How sweet of him :)
slitherbomb 0
He's probably going to taste the sperm himself, to see if it actually does make it taste different.
slitherbomb 0
Oh, and btw, it doesn't make it taste better. My friend told me because I would never do that because I'm not gay and like the vajayjay.........
Iamnotmyself 17
-1 The sweetness will come from him and drool out of OPs nor foodgasmic mouth.
Pixxio_O 11
I don't see anything to complain about op, that's actually really romantic :)
AnonymousTroll 2
1-I see what you did there.
middlekid2 5
For you having to clear it up that you are not gay and like "vajayjay" makes me think you are gay..
thefriendlyc 0
11 you are a flaming homosexual
SecretlyEvil9792 22
Actually, #11, the things you eat do make a difference in what your sperm tastes like. You are what you eat.
DigitalFusion 4
It's not just a matter of eating fruit. You have to change your diet. Red meats and things like garlic asparagus onions etc. Will make the flavor worse. The best thing to improve flavor is pineapple and pineapple juice. I drink pineapple juice on a regular basis, and avoid eating red meat as often as I used to and I can tell you the number of bjs I get has doubled maybe even tripled. Nothing else has changed(same girlfriend, see each other about just as often etc.) I'm a firm believer that your diet makes a difference.
Drigr 9
hmm.. become vegetarian for bjs or stick to my normal diet and sex. well. I like neat too much.
ThatsSOBforshort 2
68 you have a cute cat:D
enonymous 8
Canned fruit sucks. Get it fresh. I personally stuff my urethra with confetti and cool hwip. Best orgasms ever
Sebastian_NG 17
Dammit i hate pineapple and love meat
shannonreneee 11
It makes a significant difference. I can tell when my partner has been eating badly that week. Fresh fruit and vegetables are the way to go:)
MrleClochard 4
86: does yours really taste so bad that you have to go on a diet?
deathmetalkill 3
Now class, I think we all learned something new today!
RainbowHeadache 2
My boyfriend has a horrible diet of ramen, ma & cheese, & Dr. Pepper yet he tastes fine. I wish I could get him to eat fruit though. Or anything healthy for that matter. Men can seemingly live off of anything.
yourbudtravis 0
so uh if I **** on your face and slap you with my dick that's romantic? good to know
iluvboobies 9
Fresh pineapple works well or so I've heard.
jake1632 9
68, actually In this case your kids are what you eat.. And second, nice pussy! White ones are my favorite.
Link5794 18
teehee you said pussy
hzsambo 3
is that true
sparklecherry 4
True 50, true.
jake1632 9
i sure did 169. ha. i also said 69.
fair113 1
you actually said 68
Herkulezz 0
What a lovely boyfriend :P
genesisnirvana 11
He obviously cares about OP's tastebuds.
Dalliance 4
And it's a good thing he bought it "just for her", because if he didn't, a bunch of girls must be waiting to get his semen in their mouths.
btnhdude 0
high on disorder! disorder! dis-oooorrrdddeeerr ...... imma total square, (No Im Not!) Imma ******' paragon threesome with Teddy bears while watching Aragon, Reptar
toelie 26
So, does it?
sallyally 4
pineapple works wonders if you eat a lot of it :-)
DoubleEdgedBlade 4
My Grade 9 science teacher said pineapples work. Btw, she was quite hot too.
robchfra 5
I like your gr 9 science teacher but I am curious how this conversation in class came up. I can't really see "making your cum taste better" as a teaching point in a sexuality class.
enoughgrace 4
Yeah, I'm sure his grade 9 teacher didn't get the "point" either.
sourgirl101 28
Pineapple, kiwi, blueberries, I believe it's fruit with an acidy/sweetness. Oh and of corse drinking plenty of water to flush out all those toxins in your system. (:
dtbomb 3
Sounds pretty Romantic to me.
DropTheDaggerxx 31
About as romantic as letting her give him a *******.
sskarma23 9
Romantic.... LIKE A BOSS!
justanotherhuman 21
...like a car accident.
raphanne_fml 33
What a thoughtful boyfriend!!! I think he is trying to tell you something... :D
chambershc 0
bj!
writergirl23 19
So enjoy it :)
Majstr 23
You better to start peeling those bananas.
clownman 0
Double meaning high-five!
cutiepie343 7
59 - heh. :D
Elphieba 4
Fruit Ninja Time!
sara_saturday 5
give him a surprise "snowball" and see if he notes any improvement. or get a new bf
neonblue120 6
Wow a boyfriend that wants to have sex THE HUMANITY! really?
sara_saturday 5
a girlfriend that desires a little romance, what is she thinking?
BB_ava 0
Lol, OP's username.
jobsman99 0
my gal likes me to drink pineapple juice she says my sperm tastes much better and stay away from asparagus. of course I drink pineapple juice daily so she likes her taste of my sperm every day too.
genesisnirvana 11
Umm. . . good for you?
jobsman99 0
good for her too. she really loves to suck me off every day.
middlekid2 5
This guys probably gay^^
Nemmycakes 3
Hahahaha
Stumblebum30 5
Probably doesnt even have a gf.
incrapper 7
did u mean your dog?