Today, my son called me from medical school, asking for a new phone. Why? Because he dropped it in the toilet. How? Trying to take a video of his anus while taking a dump. I pay $80,000 a year just to hear he took a dump on his phone. FML
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Today, my 17 year-old son has been using his phone on the toilet. Every time he poops, he takes his phone to the bathroom. Why does he need his phone to use the bathroom? He uses the toilet with his phone. FML
Today, my youngest decided my phone needed a bath in the toilet. FML
Today, I dropped my phone in the toilet. Now I know why they call it 'smart' phone; it's smarter than me. FML
Today, while pooping at work, I was scrolling through social media. I dropped my phone in the toilet and the automatic flusher engaged, flushing my phone halfway into the pipes, which then flooded the toilet. I had to call maintenance and explain what happened to retrieve phone. FML
Today, my boyfriend called me over, all just to unclog his toilet. It was clogged because he put my phone in it while he was taking a dump to see if it would actually flush. FML
Today, my dad got a new phone and put me on speed dial. I have received several voice mails from him accidentally dialed. They are from him riding the train, in a meeting, having lunch, and, most recently, him taking a monstrous dump. FML
Today, I dropped my phone in the toilet in a public restroom. That would have been bad enough, without the guy in the next stall saying, "Jesus! What the hell did you eat?!" FML
Today, I was checking my phone while using the toilet. In a distressing moment of my brain mixing up the signals to my hands, I dropped my phone into the bowl and pressed my thumb into the shitty paper to turn it off. FML
Today, I was talking to a friend about how many germs live on the average cell phone. My five year old son apparently overheard me talking, and decided to give my cell phone a bath. FML
Today, I was having really bad diarrhea. I sat down on the toilet and heard a plop, thinking it was just me going to the bathroom. After I was finished, I look in the toilet to see my iPhone sitting in a pool of diarrhea. FML
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Top comments
Tessa39 0
sounds like he is a genius
EvilDoll 7
Well, his education and your money are both going down the drain. Among other things...
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Comments (261)
Tessa39 0
sounds like he is a genius
Saltime 0
Yes, he is. The video will end up causing a chain reaction, which in return will pocket him millions. And sadly, this reminded me of 2 girls 1 cup.
Tessa39 0
except the video didn't happen... he dropped the phone....
tamoodielovesmar 1
True
senseisuncommon 7
i Think his teacher promised him extra credit for fortage of him taking a dump... perverted weird teacher is weirdly perverted.
DropDead77 11
Sounds like a shitty situation
CeciliaSaldana 0
he was probably drunk.
CeciliaSaldana 0
he was probably drunk.
KingGeorgeGal 12
God hopes he never sends you a video..
nleighane 0
our health care is going down the toilet. ._.
Jacobt24 19
He's got balls for confronting his mother about it.
sparkman97 7
hey, maybe he wants to be a proctologist. give the guy some space.
xxwafflez 0
why would he say he was taking a vid of him dumping...if that was me I would've said I was pissing and I got a call an then it fell.
toastyjustice 5
he should of just said he spilt water on it
dolphincheddar 10
he's in medical school. I'm sure he did it to learn something about how the anus works. although i'm not sure If it's for research purposes or that he wants a nice big sausage rammed up there
SpeakingMyMind 0
92 - pun intended?
nleighane 0
143; it was... it's a bit obvious.
Darcon 8
i feel...i feel... I FEEL GOOD! TANANANANANA...
EagorLuvsBigFoot 8
I dunno why but this FML reminds neon the video "2 girls 1 cup"... don't ever watch that video.
KingGeorgeGal 12
33: Sounds like an old joke.
Darklord6980 5
Learn to spell.
FiestaInMyPants 8
Maybe he was doing his own form of extra credit..
jeffreebitch 0
no I would have done it for this young man ;)
cenax27 0
your comment is so ****** up, wtf
jeffreebitch 0
well I'm ****** up :) what do you expect my child?
dolphincheddar 10
****** up the bum or a different orifice? I'm sorry you have peaked my interest
CryMoreFMLs 14
NO ME GUSTA!!! Jefree please just go away! I'm a sick person and I make wierd comments sometimes but WTF GIRL! You've scared ME.
ollierobs 0
Med student doing research that's all.
jeffreebitch 0
oh yes! ****** up the bum sounds delightful. :)
jeffreebitch 0
you all just want to get in my pants. ;) come get me boys!
jeffreebitch 0
hey boys. ;)
EvilDoll 7
Well, his education and your money are both going down the drain. Among other things...
cenax27 0
at least the kid is doing something funny instead of being on fml
Dudelike89 8
^^^Lol irony. (lol irony of me posting)
theten_fml 9
$80,000 just for that?! I can't imagine what you pay for school.
toastyjustice 5
116, I think your trying to use sarcasm but I don't get it
Saltime 0
I see a future scat pornstar.
lexeous 4
1guy1phone1toilet
ZombieeeeUnicorn 1
your picture is so hypnotizing... @.@
DoubleEdgedBlade 4
I'm surprised nobody had said something along the lines of "OMG!2girls1cup!LOL!"
Keyman1212 14
I'm surprised you commented on here.
boricualuv 29
lol maybe that was his homework
cenax27 0
or maybe you were
xXLove_MurdersXx 4
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
Lmao! As long as he doing good in Medical School, no need to worry.. Jeez, Just buy him the phone.
tamoodielovesmar 1
i know, right?
TheFakeFamilyGuy 10
Who said medical school?
Cmliedtke 0
The FML said Medical school.....
TheBitchOfChuckN 7
The FML.
thetrollyoulike 6
he had a phone up to his ass... you think he's THAT bright?
volley4eva1698 0
...ohkay..hahaha this made me laugh and feel awkward at the same time
ifailplzinsultme 0
I bet he was trying his new way of a colonoscopy!
NoodleBurger 0
at least he's not out getting drunk.
mismonroe 0
Of he was, maybe he'd have a working phone.
Pretty_Pink_Lady 10
The FML doesn't say alcohol was involved, but most intelligent people only act this way when they're under some sort of influence. Of course there are the exceptions...
j_cat187 19
maybe he was drunk
iSurf_fml 8
That is the last reason I could ever think of for someone needing a new phone..
Jacobt24 19
Actually here is the last one: He was trying to shove it up his butt because he lost a bet
iSurf_fml 8
I think that was actually fifth..after a previous comment from Mr. Boners about iPhones.....