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Today, one week after my girlfriend berated me for not being invested enough in our relationship, I proposed to her. Her answer? "I meant give me an orgasm, not a ring!" FML

#14699033
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26882) - you deserved it (8460)

On 01/24/2011 at 4:00pm - intimacy - by Limalia (man) - Switzerland (Zurich)

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Top comments

'kay guys, I just arrived back in the country after nipple-kayaking across the Atlantic, just so I could get first post to make an incredibly inane comment. Yeah, that's right, NIPPLE-KAYAKING, you got a problem with that, people? Don't expect remorse from me like all those other bastards who get first post, Christ no, I'm a cold-blooded, heartless murderer of nipple elasticity.

That said, I do engage in intimate relations with the recently-deceased on occasion, which I feel slightly bad about, but that doesn't really make me a bad person, right? Right? Anyway, I have a pending prostate exam slash erotic noobfest with DocBastard, so I'm out. Wee-woo.

#1 - On 01/24/2011 at 6:16pm by abi96

See in context

+31

On the bright side, orgasms are cheaper than rings!

#9 - On 01/24/2011 at 6:21pm by Wheredidgrungego

See in context

+25 | 12

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