Today, I went to get a condom because my boyfriend and I were going to have sex for the first time. When I opened the drawer, I saw that every single condom had a Jesus pin stabbed through it, and a note on top of the box: "love mom." FML

More FMLs?

yada's life also sucks

Noname also deserved it

Comments

(+6)

You should go to your mom in two weeks and be like "MOM I THINK THE CONDOMS I HAD DIDN'T WORK! NOW IM PREGNANT!"
and then we'll see who's laughing.

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(+1)

what a bitch.

No offense, but your mom kind of sucks. She should be glad that you're trying to be safe.

(-1)

@#1 - No way, because, it sounds like the mom is a bitch - and would be all, "Well, you shouldn't have been messing around anyhow."

That sucks. :(

(+3)

bill her for the replacement condom!

Also write Love, Your Safe Daughter

hahahahhahh that is hilarious.

Why does your mom keep jesus pins around?

your mom sucks and maybe needs to be slapped. seriously @ #1. that could end really badly though haha

go get another few, fill them with a little egg white, and leave them on her pillow...

(0)

Please move away from your parents as soon as possible. Humanity will thank you for it.

damn thats a hard choice between #1, #9, and #10....

Go with what #1 said !!! That will be so hilarious ... I just wish I was there to see your mom's face :))

(0)

That SUCKS. I feel bad for you :(

WHAT A BITCH

i think you should do #6

(0)

Ahah #1's idea

Way to sell the love & forgiveness, Mom. Three guesses who's NOT going to be going to church real regular-like, come the day.

dont have sex in your parents house!

(+1)

Just tell her you don't need the condoms as the pill works better... :-)

THAT is exactly why I didn't mind at all that my parents didn't clean my room for me, I didn't have to deal with any questions... and trust me, there would have been some.

WTF are jesus pins?

(-4)

Too many negative votes, comment buried. Show the comment.

i fucking hate ur mom.. you should just get knocked up lol .... like for real

#4 and #6 ftw.

lol @#1
sorry that your mother epic fails..

foaming hand soap in condoms... its wonderful...

(+3)

Thats epic.
Where does your mom get these "jesus pins"?

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Isn't the guy suppose to prepare condoms?

(+2)

Lol, actually my current girfriend supplies the condoms too. So maybe you're just a cheauvanist and women should take over the men's role. (Not a bad idea in my opinion)

(0)

I love your mum. What she did was very intrusive, but she loves you.

(+2)

That's psychotic. I'm pretty sure Jesus doesn't stand for STDs and unwanted teenage pregnancy.

Also, what is a Jesus pin? Pictures?

Open all the condoms and use them to clog your mom's toilet.
Then put a note on the plunger, which you should sabotage in some way - "Love, your daughter".

Dump all the jesus pins and put them in your mom's bed.
Put a note in the EMPTY band-aid box "Love, your daughter".

(0)

don't worry sex feels better without the condom.

Better idea than #1 : in a month or so tell her you had a HIV test and it turned out positive...
She sure deserves that !

Better idea than #1 : in a month or so tell her you had a HIV test and it turned out positive...
She sure deserves that !

Omg.. -.- That's one of the most retarded things a parent could do. Get her back.

(+2)

I'm gonna go out on a limb, here, and go against the crowd a little bit.

She said she and her boyfriend were going to have sex for the first time. What if she's 14? Or 15? Or even younger? Is that still crappy of her mom? Personally I don't think kids that young should be having sex.

Now her mom could still have handled it much better by sitting her down and having a chat with her. Her mom was being a coward and a bitch. BUT if her daughter was young, I don't think discouraging her from having sex was wrong. Just she went about it the wrong way.

Now if the girl was 17 or 18... that's a horse of a different color.

I think you should go to her and thank her and tell her that you found a new way to have sex that doesn't require condoms....

(+2)

#34 & 35 - best yet, tell her you got a positive HIV test, and a positive pregnancy test - and would she mind looking after your baby when you're dead? - and then after she's freaked out a bit, come back a month later & tell her you had an abortion.

Wow. Just wow. I'd take those Jesus pins and put them in the driveway in front of moms car tires with a note of my own.

I would hide the condoms better next time..

Wow at these answers, except #30.

Her mom was just looking out for her. What if her mom hadn't done that and she had ended up pregnant or with a STD? Her mom knows better and you guys shouldn't judge the situation without full detail.

I love that her mom did that.

Love #40

And yes, it might not be the best idea of 13 and 14 year olds to have sex. However, these are teenagers. They'd do it anyways. This is NOT responsible parenting, it's being a bitch who pushes her religion on her children. Responsible parenting would be talking to your children about how you think it would be unwise to have sex at this time. Responsible parenting would be to have protection available, not bringing out the big invisible man upstairs..

Just to clear stuff up for people who are confused about Jesus pins... you know those buttons you put on your shirt or anywhere on you? Like in Harry Potter they had those 'Potter Stinks' ones. Well, it's those, with crosses and encouraging holy phrases on it, I'd suppose. I know this because my mother has quite a few of her own. Trust me, some parents have the most awkward stuff lying around. Like the 'COME TO JESUS' magnet I have on my fridge. o_o

Anyway, I'm all for either #1 or #35, but don't come back and tell her you had an abortion. That'd be awful. Just a week or so later tell her you were fucking with her, but say, "that'll teach you to mess with my stuff when I'm just trying to be safe."

Wow, your mom is a PSYCHO. Yes, #37, if she is young (14-15), it would make sense to advise her to wait. BUT the reality is many kids won't listen, and maybe she and her boyfriend are ready. Maybe they're not, but the whole point is that her mom went about it in the most horrible, intrusive, disrespectful, insulting, unsafe, ignorant, immature way, that is CERTAIN to leave them even more determined to have sex. Sitting her down for a chat about the responsibilities of sex (even if it mostly takes the flavor of "Jesus wants you to wait") would have been more respectful of her child's feelings and decision-making ability (yes, I think it's her decision). And maybe she might have listened, too.

http://www.fmylife.com/miscellaneous/130109 Take her mom's advice...who needs condoms!?

(+1)

Jesus- the world's most ubiquitous cockblocker!

I think you should stab a jesus pin through your mom.

Then see who's laughing.

(-1)

#42;
How the FUCK does ruining condoms prevent her daughter from getting pregnant or getting an STD? Do you not know the purpose of condoms? The fact that she did ruin her contraceptives makes it MORE likely that her daughter will now get pregnant or an STD. For all we know the poster had unprotected sex after this, which obviously would not have happened if her mother wasn't so stupid.
She should've been glad that her daughter was actually smart and mature enough to want to be safe. Her mother was not looking out for her, she was forcing her religion on her, being immature, intrusive and idiotic.

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(0)

oh gosh that is funny. i wish my parents would do that to me just so i could do what #1 suggested. haha.

that is the saddest thing I've ever heard. seriously. get back on that horse/dick

(+1)

mash up all her menopause pills with those damn jesus pins.

Got to love Christians.

(0)

@ #54 says who? :P

(+1)

Just tell her you skipped the condoms since they were pointless and was forced to get an abortion instead.

A young person can't take care of a baby, right? WWJD...

(-2)

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA that is utterly amazing. I hope you get knocked up, and you can ask if she has any Jesus Hangers :D

(0)

Well I don't hope you actually get knocked up, I just want you to use the phrase "Jesus Hanger" haha.

(+1)

Tell her that the Jesus pin will go perfectly with your baby your going to have.

(+1)

Her house her rules, I suppose.

Find your parents' condoms and switch yours with hers without the pin. Then see who's laughing in a few monts.

Sincerely, there is a point where religion doesn't help real life. Tell your mom to have faith in you.
I am from Mexico and the catholic church prohibits the use of condoms, in a rural area where your only source of information is the church, indigenous people believe them.

My grandmother had to start a foundation to save new born children. Because women where ignorant of life and being pregnant, they would do so often and would give birth to children on pig beds, they would leave the baby there and the pigs ate them. We saw in a course of 1 month 5 cases like this. The same.

It is not a joke to play with faith and life. I certainly believe that your faith can grant you emotional power and will, but there is a reality and we are humans. And we are made to the same image of god, so god must have had reproductory cells. Confront your mom, this is just but a little challenge in your life. If you are mature enough to explore with sexuality, then you are articulate enough and mature enough to have a mature conversation with your mom.

(0)

As #3 and #15 said.

Your mother doesn't have a brain. Even if she doesn't want you to have sex... she can't really stop that...so what is the point of destroying the condoms? To make you pregnant and more vullnerable to the inconsistencies of religion?

I agree, go get some more and either use them or put mayonnaise in them, then leave them around the house. "returning the love"

@62: 8( Fuck. Pigs are crazy.

(0)

tell your mom to stop being delusional and admit to herself that the big man in the clouds is not real. then get pregnant and tell her that you didn't realize the pins would do anything and you thought she was blessing your condoms.

Your mom sounds like a total cunt.

@#42: Condoms are there to prevent the pregnancy and the STDs. Jackass.

Don't actually get pregnant or anything, but if you're 17 or so, get some new condoms and hide them better.

Then cut the driver's side seatbelt out of your mom's car.

#49, not only are you rude and arrogant but you're presumptuous, too. If these kids are mature enough to be having sex then they'll have gone out and gotten more condoms or they'll wait until they have the chance to. It's just ignorant to assume that they had unsafe sex after all of these preparations just because of a practical joke pulled by the girl's mother.

Take one of your dad's condoms, leave the wrapper with a note saying "Thanks Mom"

also poop

It sounds like her mom just wanted a funny way to show that she disapproved. Obviously she's not banning sex or anything, she just ruined one batch of condoms to make a statement. You guys are all overly reactive tools.

(0)

umm.. this begs the question= y do you have more than 1 condom in your room? i would be worried if i was your boyfriend

(0)

Fuck off #50. It's spelled "dyke" FYI and we are obviously not the type to stick a Jesus pin through anyone's condoms and tell them who they should be having sex with, unlike you, you hateful piece of shit.

You can go to planned parenthood and get condoms for free. Find a better place to hide them, and don't hide them all in the same place. You can pull out a dresser drawer and tape one underneath it... take out the floor vent and hide it under the carpet... inside your closet, on the wall just above the closet door... be creative!

Also, I agree with #1. Too bad for your mom... she'll never realize that you can't trust her enough to confide in her about anything.

And #73... you can't buy condoms singly. They come in packs of 3, 12, or 24. You should always have more than 1 condom handy, because what if the first one breaks?

just be like ,"don't worry mom, we usually just do anal anyway."
or, "we don't need condoms, he pulls out."

that'll send a message.

ROFL jesus pin. my god move out NOW

it looks like #75 has expirience hiding things lol

@#72 Depending on where you are a 12 pack of condoms costs on average 15 bucks, which isn't exactly cheap. Plus, do you honestly think this passive-aggressive douche-bag approach to parenting actually works? All this accomplished is at best, resentment and worst case a pregnancy due to unprotected sex. You are an idiot, good sir, and would do well to go get bent.

(0)

I'd say the whole thing was a funny: a practical joke... IF there hadn't been mention of the Jesus Pins. That just makes it creepy.
Although if they really aren't christians, then the whole thing is very, very funny.

Whatever way the story ended, I really hope this didn't discourage U from using condoms, if U choose to have sex.

You are all creative and smart. Did you ever consider the age of this girl. What a horrible parent to not want a daughter that lives in her house having sex. PS you got pwned

(0)

@#81 - So in your mind, "No Condoms" automatically means "No Sex"?... When are people going to wake up and realize that this logic just doesn't work?!

I'm sure the idea of your child having sex when you don't think they're old or mature or prepared enough for it must be really scary. But further the idea along for a minute and think about them getting pregnant or an STD.

Get real... teens are gonna have sex, no matter what. We can tell them not to, we can ground them, we can Jesus-Pin their condoms... but in the end, they will have sex. Condoms are not sex-enablers... they're just protection against a higher risk of unwanted consequences. If you knew your kids were gonna jump from a plane mid-flight, no matter what you told them, wouldn't you like them to have a parachute on when they did?

Seriously, your mom is an idiot

What an awesome mom. Of course the easy solution is to not have sex in her house, go somewhere else. But obviously the best response is to point our how much of a bitch the mom is, even though she just pulled off a freaking badass prank that had it read "my roommate" instead of "my mom", it would've been regarded as awesome.

(0)

Bahahaha@! but seriously..WWJD cus..Jesus wouldnt have used a condom

#82 - Maybe if the person realizes that her mother knows about her possible sexual activity, it might be enough to deter her (even if only for that one day) from having sex.

Also, If you're smart, no condom generally DOES mean no sex. If you're going to have sex and not have any protection, then clearly what her mom did was the right thing because if she was mature enough and mentally ready, she wouldn't be dumb enough to put herself at risk for the consequences of having unprotected sex. While it may sound like a mother is a religious freak or whatever, I bet she had very good reasons for wanting to do that for her daughter especially since we don't know the exact circumstances.

So, ummm, if we're all so darn open-minded here then why have all of you assumed that the poster is a girl?

(+1)

On the bright side there's always oral.

(0)

Tell the ignorant bitch that apparently Jesus wants you to get an STD. Your mother is suffering from a self-induced delusion and can not be treated as a rational human being as her imaginary friend is calling all the shots. Get away from the bitch ASAP!!

@#87 the poster does mention the word boyfriend which suggests she's a girl and if she was a he there wouldn't be a need for a condom.

(0)

#42 is an obvious moron.

Plus, the girl had a box full of condoms.... It may have been her first time with THAT boyfriend.

At least she was using a rubber. I hate those things. Rubbers are the only thing keeping my monogamous -- birth control & clean bills of health means goood goood loving.

F your Mom.

(0)

I agree with everyone who says this is bad parenting.
Even as a joke, what example is she setting?
If you wont get into too much trouble I say go ahead and try those fake pregnacy/HIV things and see what she says.
It's a good thing to know you can get some at your local drug store but seriously there is a better way at preventing or at least talking about sex.
Your Mom can say how bad it is until her face is blue but if it's your choice then it's your choice.
I say if you're almost legal MOVE OUT!

why I'm glad my Mom is not as religious.

Ask her if she WANTS you to get pregnant, and lay the guilt really thick, telling her that she could have gotten you knocked up. Also, in retaliation to the Jesus sticker, point out that the bible does not specifically ask for virginity, and that studies have proven that Jesus' mom really was not a virgin.

your mom is... AWESOME!

i like #38's idea lol

Be happy.. my mom found my condoms and took them. xD

(0)

Do what #1 and #34 say... Take #75's advice but keep the Jesus approved condoms right where they are.. just remove a few of them (leave the open wrappers) to make #1 and #34 look realistic when she goes back and digs through your stuff again in a few days.
#49, dead on. Also OP, you should never trust anything as private while living with your parents again after a stunt like this, whether you earned it yourself or not, in their opinion it's their property and so are you. After you move out, they will still believe that.. my mother still does and I'm 24.
I really feel sorry for your family, I grew up the same way... it's horrible to not be able to trust your parents because they make it obvious they don't trust you or respect you, and in a few years when you avoid talking to them most of the time hopefully they'll understand why.

#73 - people often buy condoms as wishful thinking, hoping they may get some, or just incase... that doesn't mean she was cheating or sleeps around, actually if anything the boyfriend should be happy she was concerned with safe sex so if she has had previous sexual partners there's a good chance she was safe about it.

Also, this is terrible parenting, parents need to stop being ignorant and accept that their kids are going to do things they probably won't be happy about, it's more important to explain to them how to be safe then being an idiot and poking holes in your daughter's condom stash.

By the way... for future reference it's probably safer to have your boyfriend hold on to the condoms then keep them anywhere in your house.

hahaha that sucks! your mom should just be happy you planned on using a condom; you should screw with her and tell her you're pregnant.

(0)

Ahahaha #1. At least the mom seems like she has humore

(0)

Your mom is a retard, she should be thankful your trying to be safe about it

Well props to your mom for making me laugh- but she's gonna regret it when your pregnant and dying of aids.

Parenting via pins?

You should start leaving pins everywhere.

Weight-loss pins in her food.
Safe-driving pins in her tires.
"Look before you leap" pins on her chairs.

best way to avoid this....move out.....i mean unless you are in fact 14 or 15, and in that case you probably shouldnt be having sex anyway....especially cause you werent smart enough to avoid the situation by hiding the condoms well in the first place....so yea no bitching allowed on your part cause its your own fault.....pick one of the following:

1) grow up and move out like a big girl

2) be smarter about hiding stuff or clean your own room so mommy doesnt have to

Your mom is a bitch and apparently would prefer you having unsafe sex to being responsible and prepared.

@#90
"the poster does mention the word boyfriend which suggests she's a girl and if she was a he there wouldn't be a need for a condom."

Because gay sex no longer carries the risk of std's?
Great! I'll tell all my dead friends!

(0)

That made me laugh. But it shows that she doesn't think you're ready for sex yet or doesn't want you having it. At any rate, you're under her roof hence her rules. If you do it at your bf's or someplace else then you're not as much under her rules, but if you're under 18, you're pretty much still under her jurisdiction.

Try sitting down with her and having a mature conversation about you wanting to have sex. She may have gone about preventing you in an immature way, but she did prevent you, which was what she wanted. So talk to her about why and see what she says.

(Note: many of my close female friends regret their first sexual intercorse and wish they would have waited off for somebody else to do it with, so though it seems upsetting now, you may end up later wishing he wasn't your first, cruel as that may seem)

How do you try and lose your virginity on Ash Wednesday, if you believe in JC?

next time she's out of town just have a huge orgy in her room.
doesn't solve anything, just don't really care and it'd be kinda funny knowing someone somewhere is coming home to a rock hard crusty bed

@109: Wait...aren't you SUPPOSED to give something up for Lent?

Its not like your not going to just go out and get new ones and hide them better. Im sure your mom left an impression but what did you learn? That you need to be sneakier? Its obvious that shes not and never will be ok with you having sex, but instead of discouraging it and teaching you, shes just making it harder for you and possibley more interesting/exciting; you have to be all 007 and could be caught at any minute...what a THRILL ;). But seriously, dumb parenting move right there

(0)

wow. your mom kind of sucks.

(0)

Wow, honestly, punch your mom in the face while she is sleeping. Then when she asks, blame your dad.

Way to be passive-aggressive, Mom! I say that you replace the condoms with an empty pregnancy test box, with a note that says "Thanks a bunch! Love, Your Grandchild." Because you know she's gonna be going through that drawer again!
lol at 111

Should have gone to your mom after the act and said "Mom, I did what you were hinting at. I pull and prayed instead! God performs miracles right?" ;)

@107 Yes gay couples often need couples, but its much rarer that they do because while every straight couple should be worried about pregnancy, gay couples may either have the same STD's or know that they are both clean because they were tested.

Between that fact and the simple one that homosexuals are far less common than heterosexuals I think its fairly reasonable to assume that this a girl speaking. It would honestly get frustrating to not be able to make that assumption frequently...

Honestly #1 has the best idea, would be absolutely hilarious, hopefully your mom has the sense of humor to take it though lol

your mom is i, to sugar coat it, ignorant - psycho and deserved to be what # 1,9 & 10 suggested haha

your moms a bitch. At least you want to be safe. this is the reason teen pregnancy is so high in the us. and go with #1 or #10 or #34. OHHH make sure you tape idea #1 :D don't forget to upload it

everyone has made judgments from one incident taken completely out of the context of the reality of this person... but if we tried to figure out more of the story, i would generally assume that a mom who cares enough to look through her child's room is probably a mother who is very involved and concerned for that child's safety- physical, social, emotional, spiritual, psychosocial, etc...

if you believe that she defeated her purpose of protecting her child by pinning condoms, you're missing the point- she was trying to protect. a mother so involved would know if her child is making a decision that hasn't been thought through enough, and could ultimately end up regretting that choice. take into consideration that if her mom used Jesus pins to poke holes, she's probably a mom who's instilled abstinence from a very young age. choosing to not abstain and trying to erase that type of- yes, brainwashing- can be more psychologically damaging to a someone than a bunch of useless condoms.

everyone commenting has no idea how mature this person is, but obviously the person who really knows- the mom- is making a statement of concern that they might not be ready for the next step... and instead of praising her for protecting her child in the way she thought best- knowing the context and her child-, you all have condemned her without even knowing the situation...

it's unfortunate that people are so quick to judge.

Haha, that's actually pretty funny. ^^

The Sarah Palin method of parenting.

Worked for Bristol, see!

LOL@#123

So true.

Thumbs up for #121

if you believe that she defeated her purpose of protecting her child by pinning condoms, you're missing the point- she was trying to protect.

She was trying to protect her by destroying her protection? Makes sense. =/

So instead of letting you be responsible about it, shes putting forth MORE risk to get preggers or some STD? Smart woman, then again, she's religious so....

lmfao you should have billed her for the morning after pill

(0)

it should not be legal for people that crazy to have children

Ok here's what you do:

1) find a pin that says "jesus loves you, everybody else thinks you're an asshole"
2) Buy 2 packs of condoms, one for your personal use, and this time keep it in some SAFE place, one to be used in step 3.
3) Either take something that looks like sperm or actually use all the condmos in the pack, then take them all, use the pin to keep them together and WITHOUT emptying them put them in you mother's sock drawer/underwear drawer/whatever.

Then see what happends and enjoy.

@ #121:
I can assure you: if she bothered to buy condoms the abstinence bullshit never actually had a grip on her. if she believed abstinence sex ed she'd have believed condoms were useless and, at the very least, she wouldn't have complained and/or she would have done it anyway...
She didn't so it's highly likely that she actually uses her own mind to think and learn instead of being a subhuman appendix of the fundamentalist nutcase that first came up with abstinence as an effective method of contraception like her mother.

(0)

I am a christian, and I HATE when christians push their beliefs upon other's and shove their opinions down your throats (or through you condoms...) without really taking the big picture into consideration... THERE ARE LESS THREATENING METHODS OF EVANGELISM!

Every person has the freedom to choose what to believe and follow... and if your views are different than your mother's, than she should be able to accept and respect that... and I think it sucks that she was childish enough to take the time to maliciously poke through every single condom, instead of sitting down with you like an adult an having an actual conversation...

Have those of you that try to determine the age of best decisions ever been teens or were you just born assholes? Now everybody else sould not get me wrong I'm not advocatind sex at a young age, but there is such a thing as self determination. The girl, or boy, of what ever age she may be, has decided to have sex for the first time with her boyfriend. This to me sounds as though it may be the first time ever. In which case, congratulations on making the mature decision of using condoms. I know there are a lot of people that do not make that decision, and i have met their children.
If on the other hand it is just the case of first time with this boyfriend, then the mother is obviously too late. So the question I ask is: should anybody be allowed to interfere with your free will? Since it is free by definition? What if somebody decides that you (whoever you are) are to young to own your house? Or have your children, or anything that you have decided and worked to achieve? Would you give in to such an abusive person? Would you give them your children to raise, or the keys to your house? The mother is abusive, wrong, and let's face it a coward.

To the OP: Dear, its time you took your life into your hands, if you consider yourself ready for sex, then you obviously have an oppinion on the matter. Sit your mom down, and explain yourself, without defending your decision. Just a statement of how things are, why they are, and that they are not going to change. If she changes her mind, or actually has something inteligent to say, then you have won a victory. If not, then you at least have made an attempt to be honest and open. But my final advice is: its your body and your life, to do with as you please, and since you obviously are carefull of how you please, more power to you.

P.S. pranks will not work, words and ideas work

If you're underage, you have no business having sex, it's illegal and your boyfriend could be arrested. Your mom's response is still heavy handed though. If not under age, put your contraceptives where your mom can't get them i.e. your own place.

Depends on how old you are. If you're like 13, just wait. If you're 18 or have already graduated from high school, go take some money out of your mom's purse. Replace it with a note: "Thanks for the money to buy condoms mom, that was really sweet. Love, Me."

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(+1)

I kinda agree with #1 but instead of getting pregnant just say you are pregnant to freak her out and tell her its her fault and jesus' ( ha that would piss her off) because she poked holes in your condoms. that is screwed up man.....oh i would be so pissed. i used to leave notes on my diary for my parents saying horrible things to make them mad and so they wouldnt read my diary.

Your mom is RETARDED!

I don't know how old you are, butgenerally, this is evil (in a good way) AND stupid (in a very bad way) of your mom.

f the condoms. its better w/o anyways.

what are "Jesus pins"? has some one actualy disined something fpr the spicific perpose of distroying condoms? thats sick

"Wow at these answers, except #30.

Her mom was just looking out for her. What if her mom hadn't done that and she had ended up pregnant or with a STD? Her mom knows better and you guys shouldn't judge the situation without full detail.

I love that her mom did that."

you are a dumb ass. condoms prevent that sort of thing. stop reading chick tracts. there full of lies

(0)

That mom is a genius

why not just buy more condoms?

(0)

So she doesn't want you to have safe sex...?

personally, i think what her mom did is hilarious. i'm pretty sure her mom realizes that simply putting a pin in them isn't going to be enough to stop her daughter from having sex if she actually wants to, and it was just a gesture on the mom's part to show that she knows what's up and doesn't approve, but isn't being over-bearing. i mean, jesus pins? that's damn funny.

(0)

I'd say "mom is there anything I'd need to know abotu having sex without condoms. You see I was going to use them but someone ruined them and i didn't have time to run and get any more so we just went without protection"

(0)

i honestly have sent this to everyone its hilariouss

(0)

If I were the mom, I would have just pasted pictures of Jesus on the condoms...... so it wouldn't ruin them, just give him/her something to think about. lol

(0)

WOW that sucksss! what a bitch! i would deff tell her that you got pregnant hahaha that would get her back good!

(0)

hahaha I kind of find that extremely funny, actually. I mean, it sucks. But it's funny.

(0)

i think i'm laughing more about the jesus pins. wtf?

(0)

Holy shit, Jesus pins. Priceless.

I would have definitely mentioned something about opting for anal/pull out method since she ruined your perfectly good condoms. ;)

(0)

Number 10 and 1 are the best.

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Teenagers are always going to have sex?

I'm almost seventeen. I used to be a bit of a skank and a tease and thought I would have sex in a heartbeat. I have had many opportunities to have sex, in many instances with guys I genuinely wanted. I have been convinced that I am ready for sex; I have planned and agreed to have sex. I have been sure that I am completely in love with my current boyfriend and have been on the verge of having sex when, in a split second beforehand, the conscience I generally ignored reared its head more than it ever had in my entire life.

I'm still a virgin. And after three years of those near occasions, I converted to Catholicism. Those are two of the things I'm the most thankful for.

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lmao thats totally something my mom would do

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Maybe you shouldn't of been screwing around then.

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Wow. Some parents crack me up...

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hahahahhahahaha #48

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@#161 - Yes, I'm sorry, everyone who posted above should learn some respect and curse out everyone who disagrees with them. Better yet, we should all just face these people head on and "blow your fucking head off." And of course, being spoiled and Jewish totally has some sort of bearing on what is being said... If you have a comment to make, at least make an effort to do so in a somewhat logically consistent manner, instead of spewing out hate-filled, ideological garbage. And of course, lack of sexual repression, openness in public dialogue, and free will are all signs of societal demise, and we should all go back to the days of tyrannical oppression of thought... Dolt...

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stupid bitch! she should be glad you're trying to be safe!

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You should tell her you're pregnant. Fucking bitch.

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#32 Who thinks of shit like that?

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way to go momeeee!

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dont get pregnant but screw with her head haha

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Yeah, why does your mom have jesus pins laying around?

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just do it without, its your moms fault for ruining your contraceptive, so you might as well enjoy it and do it without

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Hey mom? I had to use these condoms for a physics project, why do they have a hole in them? Brand new box, and an easy explanation.

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lol #76

and your mom is fuckin batshit. my mom is too, so i feel your pain

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Like that is going to stop you. Hah.

Talking is a better sex-stopper than jesus. Especially when jesus is in my condoms.

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man! i hate people who are Jesus freaks! dude, this is why I'm atheist. how dare she do that to YOUR condoms. yesh. evil mom.

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Sounds like MY MOM. Haha.
She'd flip shittt. xD

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what the hell is a Jesus pin?

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A Jesus pin is a pin with Jesus on it. What's so hard about this.

It's really, really hard to say what OP's mom was thinking. Was this a joke or is she always like this? Either way, stupid thing to do. Totally go pull a prank on her.

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wow... its so sad to see all these stuck up parents. i have no problem with religion, but some people need to put down the bible and have some nice pre-marital sex or a nice wank. breaking a few rules wont send you to hell

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#43 if you truly believed in something, would you not push it onto your children? Just saying.

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way to go mama!

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true #1

thats what happened to someone i know because his parents took away his condoms

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i dont know what's worse, that your mother is so overbearing or that she'd rather you have unprotected sex. D:

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i have to agree with #1 XD

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Wow #31, I don't think you can get either of those 2 things with out having sex now can you...Don't be silly.

# 181, I think her mom doesn't want her to have sex outside marriage at all, not unprotected sex.

Your mother obviously is one of the remaining parents with a brain in society.

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that's awesome!! my philosophy is... if you're too young or not financially stable enough to be living at home, you shouldn't be having sex. ahahah i would so do that if I were your mom too!

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time to buy new ones. sucks to be u. u should do the same to her condoms (if shes got any)

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Your mom did the right thing! I'm SO happy to see that there are still parents out there willing to do this. Go to your mom immediately, give her a hug, and tell her THANK YOU!

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that's weird and creepy

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Tell your mom just cuz her youth went dry as the Sahara doesn't mean she's gotta sabotage your attempts at responsible sex.

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ask her if she wants you to have unprotected sex and ask her if she wants a grand child or tell her to put you on birth control

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thats fucked up

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:( i was waiting for someone to say this but apparently im gunna have to. #10 is the best!

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Frankly that's what you get for ha\/ing sex and lea\/ing condoms in your room when you li\/e with your parents. next time go to his place, or wait until it's legal. :P

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HAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAAAA!!!!! LOL jesus ftw!

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i thoroughly enjoyed your fml moment.
and i'm enjoying the get back at her comments.
epic.

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lol, where'd your mom find the Jesus pins? Are they sold at Christian supply stores specifically to put holes in condoms?

haha, you should wait a month then pretend like you're pregnant and blame your mom for fucking with your condoms... then tell her you're going to get an abortion.

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Better yet, tell her you're "pregnant" by writing her this letter in a month:

Dear Mom,

Thanks for using Jesus to put holes in all my condoms. I used them anyway. I just took a pregnancy test and it was positive. I scheduled an abortion.

Love,
[Your Name Here]

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I really don't see why these people think that you're mom is a bitch. Wow, to think that parents who actually CARE are bitches these days? no wonder there are so many sucky parents who don't care what their kids do. I thought this was actually funny. Sex before marriage is a sinnn muthafuckas.
Oh and I'm 17. So don't tell me that I'm being and old school parent. xD

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your mom obviously wants to be grandma.

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Mom told me my grandma pierced holes on her condoms using Jesus pins the night she had sex with my dad. Now I exist. FML

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#1 you should soo do that!

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Get yourself a pair of these...
http://www.cafepress.com/landoverbaptist.14757126

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Ok so where to start:

1)Sex is your choice, BUT you are in your mother's house. Her rules. If you're under 18 respect them or at least have a MATURE conversation with your mom. If you are over 18 and your values and your mom's don't align then maybe its time to move out.

2)I doubt the mom figured she'd use them. If they have obviously come from a religious household, even if you ain't religious yourself, you'll still be turned off by both the unprotected nature, the fact your mom knows, and all those little Jesi. The girl, or anyone one in her situation, was not likely to have sex that day.

3)I hate how people always malign mothers as "passive-aggressive". It comes from pop "blame the mother" psycology. Maybe the mother realizes that the perfect use success of a condom is only 98% and the typical use success is only around 85-90%. It also doesn't protect against HPV and a few other diseases that can be located in other areas around the genitals that aren't covered. Yay, for non-abstinence Health Class that did WAY more to keep me from sleeping around than abstinence only would've done. Anyways, even if it were on religious grounds only, its a creative way to get the message across without being the stern lecturing mom.

4)And yes it is an FML. I might not think that the mother is an awful person, but I certainly would be going FML if that were me!

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Dude, your mom's a bitch!

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You should have gotten a used condom, put it on her bed with a note that said something like You have to try better or Love your grandson.

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what a bitch, like, WHO WOULD DO THAT

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OWNED!

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#197 your not being an old school parent. Your being a young religious retard, and if you absolutely feel the need to curse to try and prove a point made by your religion at least be smart enough to spell "mother f***er" correctly. I am semi-tolerant of most religions but people like you that think that pre-marital sex is a sin and think that god is going to damn you to hell for engaging in one of the most beautiful acts that a human being can take part in bother the hell out of me. Grab your bible and jump off a building if god loves you and thinks you deserve to live he'll catch you I promise ^_^

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I like how everyone here is trying to be a parent....It's really wonderful.

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Everyone on here seems to assume that the OP was a virgin. She never says that, just that it was to be the first time _with her boyfriend_ ...so all the arguments in favor of her mom may be a bit presumptuous..

On the other hand, at least she left the pins and the note, instead of just secretly piercing all the condoms.

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Sorry but your stories are way too inconsistent!

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Why the fuck would she do that? She should be extremely grateful you're trying to be safe about sex, even if she isn't supportive of you having it before marriage (which I'm assuming is the case here--Jesus pin and all).

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I'm going to have to go with 41 on this, hide them better.

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I think it's funny as hell, sounds like something my family would do as a joke... but seriously, that's why you don't keep your condoms in obvious places.

As for payback... go get on the pill (you don't even have to take it, just put it on her credit/health insurance card) when she asks about it just say that the condoms didn't work before and you never wanted to have another abortion again.

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To bad that story was poster on another website as a joke.

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Wow; she sounds like my mom. She should be happy that your trying to be safe; my mom can't get it past her friggin head that I want to be safe and get on bc. She sees it as a window to be a slut.
So go you if you got her back! Hide them condoms better next time!

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That really sucks and I agree with the first comment, but Im sorry your mom is a freakin' genius.

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haha christian values, I agree with comment #1 Still use protection, hide them in a better place.

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I can respect people who believe in it, but fuck I hate the idea of religion

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#73, she has more than 1 condom in her room because you don't buy condoms one at a time.
THey come in packs.What are you, 12?

And seriously, that sucks that your mom would do that.
Sure, she wants to show how she dissaproves, but I'd rather know my daughter is having safe sex than to be unsure if she was going to get stds or pregnant.

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Everyone thinks your mom is a bitch, but since I don't believe in sex before marriage, I find this hilarious.

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Your mom is awesome. I agree with 220.
I also don't believe in sex before marriage, and loooool.
I laugh every time I see this one on the random page. It's hilarious, you have to admit.

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I hate religious freaks like that. You should be able to make your own choices.

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Go buy more condoms and keep them somewhere else. :P

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LOL!! I agree with 223 though or have your boyfriend buy them.

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Guys should have condoms. It's not just a girl's responsibility to prevent pregnancy.

Also, your mom sounds like a psycho. If you don't have condoms, but decide to have sex anyway, what's she gonna do? Tell her you had sex without them and got pregnant and had multiple abortions. That ought to piss her off.

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Maybe your mum DID wanted you to get pregnant? |D

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God.. Grown ups imaginary friend =D

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overprotective much? seriously though, i'd do what # 1 said. im not kidding but you know, # 10 doesnt that have that bad of an idea either.....

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tell ur mom she needs to stfu and she is a jesus freak...oh btw jesus is dead and ur worshipping dirt right now...u have one life...live it.

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lol@christianity.

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OMG I LOVE YOUR MOM AHAHAHAHAAA

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#42- but what if she's dumb enough to have sex without a condom anyway? then her mom just made it even worse. and besides, you can just go to walgreens and buy some more condoms, it's not like they're hard to get. all her mom did was waste time and money. if they want to have sex, they will.

yeah your mom is a dumbass, hope you didn't get pregnant

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Shit...all I hear from my mom is "are you being safe"? "Are you using condoms?" "Don't forget the condom!"

Its just beyond my comprehension why a mother would do that. Oh wait...maybe because she's an insane bible-thumping bitch.

:D

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go with #1. Dont actually get pregnant, just tell her you did. Then a couple weeks later let her know it's all good cuz you aborted it using a rusty coat hanger.

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Holy SHit! hahahha. Wow i would hate your mom but thats hilarious i would so get her back though!! I love the condom and egg white things that would make her freak and make sure it has a hole in the condoms so it drips all over her bed. HA! FYL :]

p.s. wow your mom bitch. But Genius

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Your mother is clearly a fundamentalist Christian fuckwit. Confront her and tell her that you are having sex whether she likes it or not, then offer her the choice between you using condoms or doing it unprotected. Then see if she goes sticking Jesus pins in them all.

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I can only imagine how terrible the world is going to be when half the people on here have children. Apparently parents can't stop their children from doing anything anymore?! So many people said that a kid is going to have sex anyways. Not necessarily. A parent should be able to set rules for their house and for their children and there should be consequences. Are you people just going to let your children rule your houses when you're older because apparently they'll go against whatever you say anyways?! What happened to respecting elders, listening to their advice and being responsible?
Oh and by the way I'm only 20 and I find you people rediculous sometimes lol

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well the bright side is abortion is legal so just have sex anyways and get one problem solved

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why do moms ruin everything?

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JESUS FUCK! I don't understand parents nowadays. It's GOOD you were trying to be safe. If your parents take away/ruin your ways of protected sex then you'll probably have sex anyway, unprotected, get pregnant and/or an STD = Life down the drain. FYML, the fucking bitch, damn.

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So according to your mom Jesus would rather you have unprotected sex? Did the pin read Jesus Christ: if your going to have sex you damn well better risk pregnancy or a potentially fatal disease.

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But I still found this FML hilarious.

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Again with the waiting until marriage bullshit. Fucking tards.

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that thought that if you didn't notice that she had stabbed the condoms, used them anyway, and gotten pregnant/an STI really didn't occur to your mum, did it?

i'm young, but i know if i was parent of a teenager who was sexually active, i would at LEAST want him/her to use protection!!! some parents just need to lay off and stop worrying! it's understandable that she's caring and trying to protect you cos you're still her baby girl in her eyes, but what she did was moronic! you should talk to her!

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What's your mom's third most prized possesion? Stick a Jesus pin in it. (if it's electronic, throw it outside on a rainy day)

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i think its the fact that all the condoms are broken now XD

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lol, but I like ##1s idea

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I agree with 243!!! u should wait dude..

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just use them, get preggers, and make her take of the baby while you're in school. serves her right

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lol that sucks

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good of her. but also stupid when you end up preggo

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I'd be like bitch replace these now.!

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I don't think that parents teaching abstinence works that well... teens are gonna have sex anyway, it's totally natural..instead parents should teach about stds and how to prevent them and birth protection.. and teach kids to make their own reasonable healthy and smart and right decisions...not push morals on them. there's nothing wrong with waiting till marriage it's just that some ppl find it unrealistic...so really parents should ask their kids whether that person is worth giving it up for and how it will affect u emotionally and healthwise and teach to put on a condom and stuff...because totally ignoring and condeming sex won't make it go away it will make sex unsafe.

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seems like jesus wanted to get in on the action, putting his "pin" in the condom and all

here's what you should have done:
1. collect evidence in photographic form
2. do what #39 said and secretly videotape it
3. put together a movie with the story
4. put it in the internet
5. fame

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