Work: Today, I lied and said I was late for work because my car's tire...

By M to the line - 11/01/2009 03:57 - France

Today, I lied and said I was late for work because my car's tire was flat. Two hours later, some of my friends came in and said something along the lines that "We should do brunch every saturday, (like this morning) it was awesome!" in front of my manager. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 072

You deserved it 32 472

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Same thing different taste

By viabbey - 24/08/2019 16:00 - United States - Cadillac

Today, after waking up in a panic since I slept through my alarm, I hurriedly got ready and started speeding to work. On the way, I texted my boss to apologize for running late. His response? "It's Saturday." FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 497

You deserved it 697

Liar !

By Anonymous - 14/03/2020 09:00

Today, I lied and told my friends I was a compulsive liar. Well, I think I lied. FML

I agree, your life sucks 490

You deserved it 1 262

By AGB10 - 23/06/2014 18:11 - United Kingdom - Tunbridge Wells

Today, I made an excuse and didn't turn up at work. Little did I know my boss did the same. We both bumped into each other at the shopping centre across town. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 862

You deserved it 25 848

By Fml - 22/04/2018 15:00

Today, a co-worker called in sick due to a family emergency. I ended up working an unplanned 12-hour overnight shift. After I clocked out, I dragged myself out to the parking lot to go home. Someone had smeared tacos all over my car. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 469

You deserved it 211

By RandomTurtle109 - 19/03/2016 12:40 - United States - White River Junction

Today, I woke up late, got ready within 10 minutes, and drove to work. I walked in and apologized to my boss. He said, "Go home, it's your day off…" Walk of Shame. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 975

You deserved it 3 620

By nightfall8705 - 17/08/2017 19:30 - United States - Walhalla

Today, I had to make my boss believe that I was late to work because my sick dog shit all over my bedsheets and I had to clean up the mess before work. The truth is, I don't have a dog, and I wrongly trusted a long fart this morning. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 359

You deserved it 1 150

By Shitty Boss Shitty Job - 15/06/2013 05:41 - United States - Davenport

Today, I woke up at 5:30 and made the half hour drive to work only to find out that it was my day off. After finally getting back home and into bed, my boss called, requesting that I come back to work since I was "already up". FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 016

You deserved it 6 565

Classic

By Daniel - 09/08/2021 16:01

Today, at work, I casually mentioned I was meeting some friends for dinner. My co-worker's response was, "You have friends?!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 867

You deserved it 90

You wish!

By Anonymous - 22/04/2012 02:22 - United States

Today, on my first day of a new factory job, I discovered that my new boss had lied to me about my hours. I found this out when my coworkers burst out laughing when I mentioned having the weekends off, and talking about my recreational plans. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 804

You deserved it 2 477

By Ilovelife07 - 14/01/2010 15:14 - United States

Today, I snuck out of work 2 hours early. As I was speeding away so I wouldn't be seen, I rear-ended my boss as he was leaving the lower parking lot for a late lunch. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 730

You deserved it 46 514

CammyGal 26

Monday 17 September 2012 16:19

"Today, I lied..." YDI.

nafiul93 0

Thursday 26 March 2009 3:56

lol what dumbasses hope u got em back

Comments

nafiul93 0

Thursday 26 March 2009 3:56

lol what dumbasses hope u got em back

tyler907 10

Friday 27 March 2009 3:38

why are you working at a place where you have to work saturdays?

fakedsincerity 32

Monday 9 December 2013 2:23

for the money?

ravens42 8

Thursday 12 June 2014 17:09

Dumbass. For money or they work less on weekdays

ohhhhshizzz 0

Saturday 2 May 2009 16:32

ydi.

TheSickness 0

Thursday 18 June 2009 7:40

Uh. Agreed with number 2 and 3.

YeTi_MaNN 0

Thursday 13 August 2009 21:56

hah smooth.

fuhrer 0

Monday 2 November 2009 23:23

You're tire still could have gotten flat...?

jakeidk 0

Tuesday 29 December 2009 8:53

brunch is duh bomb screw your manager (not literally) and get a weekday job and have brunch on Saturdays

happyhak 5

Tuesday 19 January 2010 22:40

YDI so badly words cant describe it...geez, if you are gonna skip work for brunch at least hang out with friends that will keep their mouths shut!

tb15 0

Tuesday 2 February 2010 4:11

YDI lazy dude

FMylifeAlltheTim_fml 0

Sunday 16 May 2010 6:40

ydi man

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The Top

Today, while I was making out with my boyfriend, he left my dorm suddenly without telling me where he was going. A few hours later, he texted me to tell me that being with me made him feel dirty and he had gone to confession. He then called me a sinner. FML

I agree, your life sucks 83 513

You deserved it 7 847

Today, my daughter is not only an expert in escaping her diaper but also in leaving her mark on every surface possible. Today's masterpiece: a poop trail on the hotel room rug. It was like a modern art installation, but with a distinctive smell. FML

I agree, your life sucks 378

You deserved it 173

The Top

Today, the 86 year old guy next door told me I needed three things in life to succeed: a cook book, a boyfriend, and a boob job. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 226

You deserved it 4 868

Today, I had to address a flatulence issue with an employee. Other employees are complaining about the smell. I have to continue addressing the issue until it stops. So far, I've talked to her about it 4 times. No end in sight. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 424

You deserved it 3 148

Today, I got locked out of my car for an hour in frigid weather at a busy gas station. Every time I tried to use the key, the alarm went off and the locks wouldn't work. The car company claims they've never heard of this happening. I just bought it last week after taking out a 5 year loan. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 887

You deserved it 2 738

Today, while serving drinks at work to a group of people getting tipsy on wine, I joked about it being obvious who the designated driver was to the only gentleman who'd been religiously sticking to Coke all night. He coldly informed me that he was a recovering alcoholic. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 819

You deserved it 15 711

Today, I was suspended from work. Some lady went to the manager and told them that I was stalking her, all because I would kindly greet her everyday at the grocery store. I'm the cashier. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 941

You deserved it 2 170

Today, I was at work and a lady screamed at my manager for about 15 minutes, saying I needed to be fired because I couldn't get rid of all the flies buzzing around her food. She was the one who chose to eat on our patio. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 290

You deserved it 2 499

Same thing different taste

Liar !

Classic

You wish!

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