Today, I had a terrible stomach bug. I quickly jumped off the toilet and crouched over the bowl. I vomited with such force that I splashed the shitty water back into my face. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26839) - you totally deserved it (3364)
On 10/31/2009 at 3:40pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Hampshire)
I would have freaked out if that happened to me.. :P
I hope you washed your face after? :l
#5 - On 10/31/2009 at 8:43pm by 4ddie
Eww, that is so disgusting but picturing it made me laugh so hard, FYL!
#6 - On 10/31/2009 at 8:46pm by Bloodknight
Ew....makes me thankful the sink is built right next to the toilet for when this happens. Became a very useful setup when I had food poisoning last year.
i always keep the bathroom trashcan next to the toilet for this reason.
#63 - On 11/01/2009 at 3:49pm by diet_otaku
Did anyone else immediately think of the South Park episode, where Kenny's dad had to keep throwing up and going #2 at the same time?
Yes, that was my first thought as well!... Ya know... after, "ew" of course.
#24 - On 11/01/2009 at 12:12am by LifeisFMLSnGMHs
you must have been shit faced (ahahaha, I am so funny).
I will have to keep this in mind if i get sick. thanks for the heads up and FYL for sure!
#9 - On 10/31/2009 at 8:54pm by smartass101
Why didn't you just throw up in the sink or tub? If I just shat in a toilet and felt the urge to throw up, I would have waddled to the sink or tub.
Just remember to get the order right:
Sit, squirt, flush.
Kneel, hurl, flush.
You'll have big problems if you sit and hurl or kneel and squirt.
Also, the "flush" is a crucial step. You almost got it right.
#18 - On 10/31/2009 at 10:40pm by Intoxicunt
I always have a fear that's gonna happen to me.
I'm glad it was you.
#20 - On 10/31/2009 at 10:54pm by fatherpunk
god thats bad, oh well. ur life sux like mine. (no offense) but really, thats bad. i hate when things splash at you in the toilet.
get a friggin bucket. they sell them at the dollar store so yes you can afford one. keep it in the bathroom for such emergencies, and also for cleaning the floor. you do wash your bathroom floor don't you?
That's why I ALWAYS ALWAYS ALWAYS sit on the toilet and vomit in the trash can.
#25 - On 11/01/2009 at 12:23am by scarletlily
When I read " I quickly jumped off the toilet and crouched over the bowl. I vomited with such force...." I thought that she was going to say she crapped all over the place. Haha.
But at the OP; That really sucks. I feel bad for you. But as #13 said, you should've puked in the trash can.
#26 - On 11/01/2009 at 12:31am by frenchboy95
Well, your vote obviously isn't the only one that counts. Lots of users vote on the FMLs, then the staff members pick the ones to actually go on the site. Representative democracy.
#34 - On 11/01/2009 at 1:32am by Intoxicunt
You should stand up and do it and watch dat shit bounce in the air.
#31 - On 11/01/2009 at 1:20am by manutd3287
the smell alone with your face emersed in the bowl should have made you to forcefully vomit, was there corn in there?
#35 - On 11/01/2009 at 1:53am by Reefer_Madness
I used to be bulimic... Vomit splashed in my face all the time.
#36 - On 11/01/2009 at 1:03am by hollywood123
Yeah, I hold the trashcan in my lap when I get that kind of sick... FYL, though. I'd puke even more after that happened.
#39 - On 11/01/2009 at 2:38am by clockworkrainbow
Who couldn't have seen that coming, not that you had much choice to begin with, but you know how that goes. Shit happens.
#42 - On 11/01/2009 at 3:49am by blastvortex
Why didn't you just puke in the bathtub? I have had the shits and needed to puke while shitting, so I just leaned to the side and into the bathtub it all went.
why the fuck didn't you at least flush?! If I knew it'd finished at one end I'd quickly flush it incase it come out the other end. throwing up in a toilet is just easier. but fuck man that's gross
And that, my dear, is why you have a bucket with you when you're ill. That way, if you do have the screaming shits, you can just grab the bucket and puke and poop at the same time. It works. Trust me.
#49 - On 11/01/2009 at 8:57am by The_Disturbed
hahah my boyfriend was so sick once he was shitting on the toilet and vomiting in the bathtub at the same time.
That's what waste buckets are for. Always keep them by the toilet. You never know when you're going to need it.
#54 - On 11/01/2009 at 11:44am by missgreenday
I feel ur pain....had a horrible stomach bug last year.....i had diariah and i was vomiting at the same time all day, every 5 mins.....
#55 - On 11/01/2009 at 11:51am by dvd175
do u know how to use a toilet? u could have flushed then while that was going down u could puke- problem solved.
#58 - On 11/01/2009 at 12:24pm by rachelbrianna25
Aww! I'm sorry. :(
Reminds me of the SP episode where Kenny's dad took too many BC Pills and was vomiting and sh*tting everywhere. XP
#59 - On 11/01/2009 at 12:42pm by xxXChiiXxx
*shudder* Don't share that kind of information, please! FYL, definitely though.
#60 - On 11/01/2009 at 1:42pm by TobyLuckhurst
@ all people saying she should of flushed it, chances are he had fulshed it recently (if he was that ill) and the systen (sp?) wanst full yet so he couldnt flush even if he had the time to.
Well, sorry about that. I have absolutely no solution to offer, since anyone who's ever had a bad stomach bug KNOWS some things can't wait even for a second to happen. Take a shover and eat some plain white rice for dinner, you'll feel better afterwards.
hahaha thats fucking great, however next time
1) shit in the toilet
2) puke in the bath tub / shower lol at least then you can just turn the shower on and wash it down the drain
#66 - On 11/02/2009 at 11:59am by kinkolicious
Advice that'll serve all of you well. Whenever I have a stomach bug I sit on the crapper and have a bucket in front for spew. I only needed to see diarrhea on the floor once before coming up with that idea...
#69 - On 11/03/2009 at 12:58am by DJ_Chutfield
LOL at #3 and i know i shouldn't laugh but i just gave a whole new meaning to the word ROFL. i ROFL'd at this then consequently rolled into my desk knocking a glass onto my face which smashed and gave me a nosebleed. damn karma.
#74 - On 11/08/2009 at 7:39pm by Sadistic_Spartan
that's why you put a trashcan in front of you while sitting on the toilet. then you catch whatever is coming out both ways.
#75 - On 11/09/2009 at 1:58pm by meebabo77
My response?EWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
#76 - On 11/09/2009 at 9:37pm by jessica171
I once crapped and vomited at the same time, crapping into my pajamas and, luckily, vomiting into the toilet
ALL IN MY AUNTS HOUSE
