Today, at work teaching a cooking class, one of the kids asked if they could use a knife to help me chop vegetables. I said no, because it was very sharp and only staff members are allowed to use them. Just as I said that, the knife sliced through the tip of my thumb. FML
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Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves!
Today, while working at a fine-dining restaurant, I was dicing veggies. I was paying such close attention to make sure the veggies were all the same size, that I managed to cut off the tip of my thumb. FML
Today, visiting my partner’s family for the first time, I offered to help cook, saying I could chop the vegetables. Five minutes later, I nicked my finger, dropped the knife, and instinctively said a very loud curse word in front of their very traditional grandparents. Everyone froze while someone went to get me a bandage. FML
Today, I was warning a girl in my art class to be careful with a Stanley knife, as she had managed to cut her finger quite badly. Just as I said it, I sliced my finger open with a Stanley knife. FML
Today, during a workplace safety exercise at work, I managed to cut off the tip of my thumb. FML
Today, I was telling my younger brother and sister how important it is to know how to use a knife properly, all while slicing potatoes. Just as I was saying how stupid people can be with knives, the potato slipped on the counter. I sliced open my hand while talking about knife safety. FML
Today, I'm a chef and I had a new set of knives delivered. My boss says to me, ''Be careful with your new knives, they're going to be sharp. You don't want to cut your nail off.'' Not 2 minutes later I chop my whole nail off my right index. He jinxed me. FML
Today, I was cooking dinner for my children, managing for once not to screw up and hurt myself. Then, while chopping vegetables, I accidentally sliced my finger open. The same finger that was still covered in juice from a lemon I'd just squeezed. FML
Today, I learned how to sharpen a knife. I sharpened it so well that it went through my finger like a lightsaber. FML
Today, while demonstrating our new meat slicer at work, and after sharpening the blade at the end of the demonstration, I noticed some metal powder. I grabbed a rag to wipe it off, not realizing the blade was still in the “open” position. I now have six stitches and a really painful finger. FML
Today, I was helping tidy up after my girlfriend's flat warming. I went to put a sharp kitchen knife in the sink while she was washing dishes, and stabbed her in the finger instead. FML
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Top comments
Welshite 39
And now you get to teach them first aid! You're such a good teacher.
MassiveBerry 9
Well, you were right. It was sharp.
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Comments (112)
Welshite 39
And now you get to teach them first aid! You're such a good teacher.
FangirlingAlways 14
Your sarcasm didn't go unnoticed.
EternalTime 7
7, that was the point...
FangirlingAlways 14
#15, I know, I was just pointing it out for the people who don't understand sarcasm. It's also hard to tell through the internet sometimes.
pinkster2014 25
Then the teacher would be like: "See kids, and that's what would've happened if I let one of you chop the veggies!"
Kamon97 23
Hey you learn from experience
FangirlingAlways 14
Why did I get down voted? -.- I just stated that some people might not understand sarcasm through the internet.
mcm_3 16
#62 lots of comments are sarcasim-based so I'll go out on a limb and say that FML users understand sarcasim
iamchron 4
You got down voted because you are 12 And your opinion won't matter for 6 years
emc0225 3
I'm not twelve but a twelves year olds opinion matter just not in the governments point of view
skate2125 4
I guess the internet doesnt like you today. Does it now?
XSimpleDesignX 18
#74 come back when you're not drunk and try that again.
piedpiper303 29
That's not very knife of it!
Pleonasm 35
OP cut right to the point with that one. I hope OP kept a handle on their forking expletives, though, or the kids might have learned more than they wanted to in that class, and a little too spoon.
vinny098 22
10# you sort of killed it...
Pleonasm 35
Oh well. No risk, no reward.
\ 28
You're a real cut-up, Pleonasm.
ShadowSneaker360 16
It seems everyone just loads up the pun gun for an upvote..
SgtAssCheeks 21
Or a shit pun for downvote. Works the same way!
TopHatNinja68 6
No more bad puns Plz my eye
False_Stupidity 41
What bad puns? Pleonasm's puns are always a cut above the rest, no matter which way you slice them.
Ziggyboo 10
I'm worried. Her condition may not be Stable.
MassiveBerry 9
Well, you were right. It was sharp.
buttcramp 21
if OP teaches in a real culinary school, then OP would know that a DULL knife causes more accidental cuts in the kitchen. This is because a sharp knife, in the hands of someone with proper technique, goes right through. Whereas, a dull knife requires the cook/chef to apply more pressure to the handle, making the blade more likely to slip. So I'd say OP wasn't using the right technique, the knife should have actually been sharper than it was, or the knife could have been old and lost it's shape (this happens if the knife is out in the dishwasher and an untrained eye can't see it). Not saying OP deserved this but these are definitely some things to consider.
FangirlingAlways 14
Wow, better be more careful next time. Try to pay more attention to the food that you're cutting.
coried91 28
They were only showing their student why that knife can only be used by instructors. I think they gave a very good example.
Morqan_Freeman 14
#4 Shouldn't a person who is cutting something pay more attention to what they are cutting with and what they are doing rather than what they are cutting? We are talking about vegetables here. Hope you don't cut yourself.
coried91 28
43- What the hell are you talking about?
mcm_3 16
#43- its combo
Morqan_Freeman 14
@53 and anyone else who didn't understand: #4 said for OP to pay more attention to the food that OP is cutting. As to say that the food will hurt OP if OP does not pay more attention. When actually OP should pay attention to the tool being used and the actions being taken. I am shocked nobody understood #4's mistake and my explanation lol.
BradTheBrony 19
My father was killed by carrots.
adyb 12
At least you proved your point, but I guess it wasn't worth your thumb
FangirlingAlways 14
The point of the knife that is. XD No? Okay..
MassiveBerry 9
It'd most likely be the edge of the knife. Not the point.
FangirlingAlways 14
#11, I know. I just... I don't know why I said that. Lol
AllieCat21 21
13, every comment you've made on this FML has been downvoted. Quit while you're already behind.
scottyspot 11
You gave them a demonstration they will not soon forget!
meggieeeee92 27
Well, at least you showed him what not to do.
EternalTime 7
You were simply demonstrating how sharp it really was
jasminetslater 13
Ouchie. I'd freak out.
breakinlegs 19
Was the food tainted?