Today, I was diagnosed with strep throat. My mom wasted no time accusing me of whoring around and claiming that most people get strep from performing oral sex. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my tonsils swelled to roughly the size of golf balls. My mom refuses to take me to the hospital because she's convinced I got it from kissing someone, and until I "fess up", she's not budging. FML
Today, my mom went through my drawers and found some antibiotics from Planned Parenthood. She immediately flew into a rage and told my whole family, my aunts, and her church that I was a “loose woman with a horrible disease.” The antibiotics were to treat bacterial vaginosis, not an STD at all. FML
Today, I got my very first yeast infection. Thinking she would help me, I went to my mom. Instead she began yelling about how I'm lying and it's an STD and I don't believe in the power of Jesus. FML
Today, I felt an intense pain in my abdomen, so my mom drove me to the hospital. When we were in the waiting room, she rudely said, "It's probably an STD since you're such a slut." And then she left me there. It was a kidney infection. FML
Today, after years of having seasonal allergies and months of having my throat close up, my mom agreed to see a doctor, only to insult me in front of the doctor, saying I just find new ways to make their lives harder and I'm probably making it all up. FML
Today, my boyfriend's jaw was swollen due to him not taking care of a cracked tooth. He's convinced it was actually caused by an STD, and accused me of giving it to him. FML
Today, I've been bedridden for 2 weeks. My mother, a very busy woman who lives 30 minutes away, took me to the doctor's office, which is barely 2 minutes across town. Turns out I have strep, and a bad ear infection. My loving boyfriend of 6 years, who lives with me, just told me to take a hot shower and I'd feel better. FML
Today, I went to the doctor's office, where my mother happens to work. When my doctor tried to prank her by saying I have chlamydia, my mother laughed and said she didn't believe it, adding, "Have you even seen the way she interacts with boys?" FML
Today, while I was getting a blowjob from my girlfriend in the shower, my mom stood outside the door the whole time, asking me about my day. My girlfriend never stopped going, and my mom, who was unaware that my girl was with me in the shower, is now getting me tested for speech impairment. FML
Today, after weeks of flirting with the hot guy at the gym, he finally asked me to meet up with him outside. I was diagnosed with strep throat just hours before our date. FML
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Top comments
AbstraktThoughts 13
Was she speaking from experience? ;)
xXHollowIchigoXx 17
Cough on your mothers food. Then accuse her of whoring around. Just for laughs though.
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Comments (109)
njgohard 16
Guess she's the prick, then.
thatkidhesh 11
so thaaaaats why your mom used to be so ill all the time. 'strep throat'. good one mom ;)
imaginaryvoice 18
Being a ***** gives you strep throat? That explains so much.
timelessone 16
Being a ***** can get you a lot more than strep throat in case your wondering ;)
bethers_ 22
So did that make me a ***** when I first got strep at age 6? Sad face I had no idea :(
Toasty283 8
Wow that just blows
AbstraktThoughts 13
Was she speaking from experience? ;)
xivoricbutterfly 25
I had strep throat and im a virgin
xXHollowIchigoXx 17
Cough on your mothers food. Then accuse her of whoring around. Just for laughs though.
jessBeAqueen 13
then fart on her pillow and when she is diagnosed with pink eye accuse her for her whorish behavior.....because everyone knows you get pink eye from watching to much ****.
thatkidhesh 11
intentionally giving your mom pink eye I'd just wrong no matter how illogical her step throat argument is.
LeFrogDog 27
@27 party pooper
knotcool 15
#51 I read this as "you're just my strep throat!" Lol
UsernameHere234 13
Or claim pink eye is from facials and getting cum in her eye too much.
thatkidhesh 11
32. let me rephrase. Next time when your mom has strep throat, give her an ice pack for her sore knees
chocolateisyum 12
Well someone had a miseducated, accusing mother. Maybe take her to the doctors and let them explain. Or just leave it. What a waste of breath.
Caitie_kid 8
For real. That's one of the dumbest things I've ever heard.
inthedopeshow 17
If this were true I would be terrified to discover why I had chronic strep as a child...
abukaramel 10
How would she know that?
challan 19
OP, have your doctor call her. You don't need verbal abuse, you feel crappy enough as it is. Feel better soon.
M3DIC4T3 29
I used to get strep throat all the time when I was around the ages of 3 - 5. Would OP's mom accuse 3 year old me of whoring around???
MidnaLink 35
…Quite possibly!
cmayer 20
What even???
thatkidhesh 11
OPs mom accused her off performing oral sex on multiple partners, which resulted in strep throat.
cmayer 20
I can read, I'm not stupid. But you don't get strep throat from that.
Nordrag 26
Your intelligence is still up for debate. I would ask that you not make any wild claims until after the final decision is made.
cmayer 20
That was needlessly rude. Why is my intelligence being questioned? I'm sorry no one understands that I don't understand how OPs mom is so dumb. But I guess some people just can't help but insult people they don't know.
Pordexel 5
That's the whole bloody point of the internet, to insult people you don't know. You don't have to know them.
Danielle7994 18
31, Welcome...to the internet, my friend.
Pyro_Wolf 17
37, if that's the point then you're a stupid bitch! Am I doing it right?
MzZombicidal 36
31, you don't know OP's mom and you just called her dumb. How rude!
Pordexel 5
#64 Yes, you are doing it right, you asshole.
escobar07 10
Takes one to know one
catwho 18
Hard to argue when hurting talks to. Some people need basic science classes.
timelessone 16
When talking hurts too?
showmeyourears 19
Because she has strep throat :P
showmeyourears 19
Because she has strep throat :P
BabyBear_1989 4
I'm guessing your mom us thinking of mononucleosis you know the kissing disease lol but I would get a doctors note like someone said earlier you feel crappy enough already you don't need her verbally abusing you too
graceinsheepwear 34
No she's thinking of gonorrhea of the throat, which you get from oral sex on someone who has gonorrhea of their junk, of whatever gender that junk may be.
militarybrat 21
Which is again not 100% true. I got mono at age 5 by drinking a coke from my sister, who also got it from drinking after someone else. Sharing utensils is another good way of getting it. Water fountains? Just gotta be careful
CharresBarkrey 16
Mono IS commonly called the kissing disease, because a lot of people get it that way. That doesn't mean you can't get it from sharing drinks or whatever, that's just what a lot of people call it. And I'd be willing to bet that's what OP's mom is mistaking for strep.
DracoSpirita 21
I got mono in second grade from the idiotic kids who decided that putting their mouths on the water fountain spout was a good idea. I was out of school for a month, and when I came back all the other kids shunned me because they thought you could only get mono from kissing other people. Idiots.
BrotherPhil 35
Maybe she's thinking of the Cox-Sackie virus, another one that causes sore throats.