Today, I went into the men's restroom and started peeing in a urinal next to a middle-age man. As he zipped up and walked away, he said to me, "Don't worry, it'll grow." FML
Collection
Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves!
Today, at the urinal a guy came up next to me to do his business. He stared over at me, looked down, laughed and then left. FML
Today, while using a urinal in a very busy mall bathroom, another man unzipped his pants and attempted to use the same one as me. FML
Today, I was peeing in a public bathroom when a guy walked in and passed by 4 open urinals to use the one next to mine. After feeling his gaze for a second, I confronted him with my own, in hopes he would stop. Instead, I stared into a stranger's eyes until I finished peeing. FML
Today, as a joke, my friends pushed me into the men's restroom and held the door shut. As I was trying to push the door open, I heard a voice behind me say, "Wow. Immaturity, huh?" I turned to find a guy taking a dump in one of the urinals. FML
Today, I was in the bathroom, when someone came up behind me. Instead of waiting for a urinal to free up, he wedged his way in between me and another guy, and promptly began peeing in my urinal, crossing streams in the process. FML
Today, a guy started taking a leak beside me at the urinal. Evidently he figured he wasn't being enough of a cockbite, because he looked at my junk, laughed, "HAH!" then broke down into hysterics and totally lost control of his stream. I smell like piss. FML
Today, I was at one of the urinals in a bathroom. A chubby kid goes to the urinal next to mine and starts peeing violently. Apparently, he was peeing so violently that it splashed onto my legs the whole time. I picked the wrong day to wear shorts. FML
Today, as I got out of the shower, my young stepson saw me naked. Later, he asked his mom why my "pee pee" is so small when everyone says it is supposed to get bigger when you become an adult. FML
Today, I walked into the restroom at work to see my boss standing at the urinal, pissing like a toddler. He had his pants around his ankles, ass fully exposed. Now I'm never going to be able to take anything he says seriously. FML
Today, I was peeing in a urinal at a bar. A drunk guy comes in, and seeing no urinals open, he decides to pee between my legs from behind me. He didn't have good aim. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
maryiah 21
At least he gave you hope.
iazy9 14
Anything is better than my 3 inch slanger.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (86)
maryiah 21
At least he gave you hope.
CheeseTron 15
Its true. I put on 16 inches in 1 year.
flockz 19
looks like someone mixed their numbers around again.
zingline89 18
Getting a boner 16 times with your one inch pinch doesn't constitute putting on 16 inches :)
sacmaster 11
There's always hope in jelqing ;)
iazy9 14
Anything is better than my 3 inch slanger.
friedpwnadge 25
I was somehow blessed with 7.5 inches. My girlfriend also appreciates it.
CharresBarkrey 15
25 - But... You're a beautiful strong black woman who don't need no man...
Pretty_reckless_fml 18
#25 come on dude nobody cares for your bragging -.- my boyfriends is 8/9 inches and i dont go rubbing it in people's faces! ...wait O_o that didnt come out as i'd wanted it to :L
MoronsAccount1 12
@#46- Ha. I saw that. Wait, what.
philbelfrage 13
25 - longer isn't necessarily better if you have the girth of a pencil, and I do not for one second believe that you have a girthy glunker. The ones who brag always seem to be the smallest.
j_cat187 19
#2 I lost my penis in Vietnam. Damn pit bull.
evan_7899 28
When I was 13 years old I had a 18 cm schlong which translates 8.5 inches roughly...I've got good genes but some people aren't as lucky .....sorry you had to encounter such a douche about the matter though
evan_7899 28
Oops sorry it actually is 6.6 inches not 8.5..sorry bad math the first time
philbelfrage 13
86 - One would think you had learned from 25's mistake..
haw008 14
How... Unfortunate?
kultyre 7
What a wise man.
woainishamu 21
Urine for some wise words.
DWT 18
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
Tell him that he should stop looking at your dick and mind his own business. What an asshole.
Welshite 39
Mind his own business? He was! He was obviously into the male enhancement industry and was just doing his job. Take me for example: I'm an amateur breast inspector. Sure, I haven't actually found a job yet, and sometimes the slaps I receive are a thankless response, but I won't give up.
CheeseTron 15
It's not about the size, OP. It's how you use it.
zingline89 18
To pee?
CrissyyyS2 22
Helicopter?
Grand_Cookie 21
It takes a long ass time to get to England in a row boat.
DDCA 24
That's just something guys with small dicks say to make themselves feel better.
Saikon1357 25
Oh come on, not even the people who say that believe it.
ltaper11 20
It's a game pass it on to the next unfortunate male.
itzkyle 5
Thank God I've never heard of this game before
Likian5 26
Ouch...
fatmcfatty 13
should've told him his wife loves his size haha