Miscellaneous: Why so serious?

Why so serious?

By DwarfFrog - 18/06/2012 11:38 - United States

Today, my grandmother threatened to kill herself with a banana. She then got angry with me when I didn't attempt to get the banana away from her. My mom punished me because I didn't take the situation seriously enough. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 436

You deserved it 3 384

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Same thing different taste

Quality family time

By really mature, GRAN - 25/12/2012 20:59 - United States - El Macero

Today, my psycho grandma yelled at me for being an "immature brat" by not offering to wash the dishes after dinner. I reminded her that when I offered last time, she raged at me for being "condescending." She responded by faking a heart attack and getting me indefinitely grounded. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 764

You deserved it 3 068

By aelia_oups - 31/12/2012 22:09 - France - Taverny

Today, as I have been for 10 years, I'm allergic to fruit. After an argument with my mother, she yelled, "Here, have a banana and go kill yourself!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 326

You deserved it 7 534

By lady_jeni - 09/07/2009 07:29 - United States

Today, I went to see my grandmother. She has alzheimers and doesn't remember me sometimes, and today she thought I was her sister and that I was trying to steal my grandfather from her. She hit me with a cane and called me a slut. FML

I agree, your life sucks 60 514

You deserved it 3 232

By Anonymous - 16/06/2017 06:00 - United States - North Olmsted

Today, my mom tried to ground me. In the apartment that I own. Because I didn't eat enough of the dinner that I'd made. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 799

You deserved it 387

By phonesmuggler - 18/04/2013 19:30 - United States

Today, I briefly left my laptop while I went to use the toilet. When I came back, I found "I" had posted on Facebook, calling my mom a "stupid cunt who should just stay in the kitchen." The only other person home at the time was my grandpa. She didn't believe it, and permanently grounded me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 878

You deserved it 5 814

Chill out

By Bruce - 01/12/2022 18:00

Today, I had to warn my wife not to kill her insane mother. I was serious. FML

I agree, your life sucks 807

You deserved it 87

It wasn't me!

By cantwin - 31/05/2013 13:54 - Belgium - Zwevegem

Today, I visited my grandma. Shortly after I arrived, she freaked out after finding a "snake" in her closet. It was a rubber snake that my brother must have put there yesterday as a prank. I picked it up and told her it was fake. She then yelled at me for playing such a disgusting prank on her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 482

You deserved it 3 715

By Anonymous - 10/05/2013 19:28 - United States - Warren

Today, my mother and I got into an argument, and she told me to go to my room. I refused, prompting her to slap the shit out of me. I'm 29, and she was visiting me at my own house. FML

I agree, your life sucks 63 656

You deserved it 6 452

By Anonymous - 17/02/2012 08:01 - United States

Today, I was in a grocery store with my great-grandmother. It would've been nice to know she hadn't taken her medication before she started beating the cashier with her umbrella. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 480

You deserved it 2 271

By Jaws - 10/02/2011 16:09 - France

Today, I got slapped in the face by my girlfriend with a banana skin, because I finished up the chocolate cake. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 770

You deserved it 38 581

arniebrah 8

Monday 18 June 2012 16:03

Lol that's like 3 FMLs in one

BuffaloSabres134 8

Monday 18 June 2012 16:03

I hate it when that happens.

Comments

YourMoms_BF 2

Friday 22 June 2012 11:19

Are you sure she is not trolling you?

kcbunny 2

Saturday 23 June 2012 20:42

That is sooo weird that would have been extremely awkward for you!

YourMoms_BF 2

Sunday 24 June 2012 16:34

You should have said "Grandma drop the banana and don't do anything stupid"

cartedor 18

Tuesday 1 January 2013 10:21

Just read someone was allergic to fruits so if granny there is also allergic, then she can really peel off her years right there and then

aardvarkish 15

Saturday 16 February 2013 2:26

I see what you did there!

rachelwho 9

Friday 22 March 2013 23:06

She's going bananas

Chris93Jones 20

Monday 30 September 2013 4:42

Sure if I'm the first person to say this, but that is just bananas.

worldclassrager 39

Sunday 15 June 2014 4:57

K overdose? (I have no idea how to spell it)

StupidityRising 9

Saturday 5 December 2015 2:05

How is that even possible? Death by banana.

StupidityRising 9

Saturday 5 December 2015 2:06

How is that even possible? Death by banana.

Keywords

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The Top

Today, my boyfriend and I had sex for the first time. I'm extremely uncomfortable with eye contact, but he kept staring into my eyes the entire time. I had to sing the F.U.N. song from Spongebob in my head to stop myself having an anxiety attack. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 206

You deserved it 6 457

Today, I was pulled over for not having my car inspection up to date. I had my car inspected two weeks earlier. Since I'm at college my sticker was mailed to my home. My mother didn't want to pay the 42 cent postage, so now I have to pay $250 because my mother is cheap. FML

I agree, your life sucks 64 447

You deserved it 4 464

The Top

Today, my sister looked prettier in her bridesmaid's dress than I did in my wedding dress. I love her to bits, but she won the genetic lottery out of the two of us, so even on my wedding day I feel inferior. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 052

You deserved it 257

Today, I broke up with my girlfriend because I felt unappreciated. She found it appropriate to sarcastically say, "Oh no, how will I ever be able to open my jars?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 163

You deserved it 4 869

Today, I spent almost two hours drawing a scenery. I was tired halfway in and took a break. Came back to my room to see it getting scribbled on. FML

I agree, your life sucks 967

You deserved it 116

Today, my sister is dressing up as a nerd for Halloween. She's using my clothes for the costume. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 683

You deserved it 7 887

Today, I went to take a dump at work, but the last person in the stall didn't flush. As I flushed for him, the shitty water splashed on my face. Some went in my mouth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 686

You deserved it 396

Today, while my mom was out, my family agreed upon the assumption that she has a "shopping problem." I argued against it for quite a while, until she pulled up minutes later with a what seemed like a life-time supply of canned condensed milk. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 568

You deserved it 4 931