When it's cold outside By Lewis - 12/12/2018 18:00 It's duck cold! I agree, your life sucks 255 You deserved it 63 Share Tweet Share
Today, me and my girlfriend were watching some show about sex on the discovery channel. The topic of female orgasms came up and she said, "Wow, I wonder what that's like?" We've been dating and sexually active for three years. FML I agree, your life sucks 47 263 You deserved it 19 210
Today, I heard my sister masturbating in her room. I took the dog around the block to get out of the house, and I came back to see her leaving her room. She had my electric toothbrush in her hand. FML I agree, your life sucks 842 You deserved it 66
Today, my elderly coworker was telling me about a long-lost friend, so I helped her use the Internet to look the friend up. We found her. Specifically, her obituary. FML I agree, your life sucks 13 332 You deserved it 1 043
Today, at my annual checkup, the doc looks down at my foot and says, "Oh, you have an extra toenail. Six, huh?" Then sort of scraping at the side of my foot below the pinky toe, he pulls off a long piece of dead, dried skin and says, "Oh." FML I agree, your life sucks 22 083 You deserved it 6 397
Today, my dog started limping as we were walking home. I thought she'd hurt herself, so I picked her up and carried her home. Once we arrived, I put her down, at which point she ran around and played as if nothing had happened. I fell for my lazy dog's plan to get me to carry her home. FML I agree, your life sucks 33 198 You deserved it 8 359
Today, my dad refuses to let me inherit all of his money, which might just put a roof over my head when I’m older. *His* money? Well, actually, he inherited it. FML I agree, your life sucks 1 259 You deserved it 954
Today, I learned that there are people who actually, unironically believe that Danny Masterson is innocent. Faith in humanity: Gone. FML I agree, your life sucks 470 You deserved it 265
Today, I was reminded that I'd submitted a short story to a writing competition months ago when I got an email saying I'd won second place. I excitedly forwarded it to friends and family. A few minutes later, another email arrived, explaining they'd contacted the wrong person. My celebration lasted exactly eleven minutes. FML I agree, your life sucks 375 You deserved it 70