Embarrassing, Poopoo peepee, Cute and Kids: Well done!

Well done!

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2014 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I was at the mall with my young daughter. I hate pooping in public but I really had to go so I brought her in with me. Thinking we were alone, I started to go and my daughter yelled, "Good job Mommy, you're using the potty like a big girl!" I then heard laughing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 601

You deserved it 5 023

May weddings: Love and blunders
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Same thing different taste

Stranger danger

By shit - This FML is from back in 2010 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I was in a public restroom taking a dump. It's difficult for me to do it in public, so to make it easier I kept telling myself, "Nobody's here, you're all alone." I then heard, "No, you're not." I didn't realize I was saying it out loud, or that I wasn't alone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 719

You deserved it 31 734

Thanks for the info

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2017 but it's good stuff

Today, my mother told my boyfriend a cute story about me when I was little. The one where my cousin and I were caught pooping in a urinal in the church basement. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 843

You deserved it 611

Slippery when wet

By blewidstepr - This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff

Today, I realized that my 3 year-old son, who is being potty trained, has better aim standing up to pee than his 30 year-old father. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 881

You deserved it 6 519

By justsomesummer - 26/01/2016 18:09 - United States - Beaverton

Today, I got a new babysitting job. Every time the little girl goes to the bathroom, she screams and cries until I wipe her. She's 7 years old. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 903

You deserved it 1 664

Close encounters

By Pinkie - This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I had to announce to the whole house that I was going the bathroom, because the lock on the door is broken. Before I had the chance to wipe, my dad loudly burst through the door, stark bollock naked, to take a shower. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 281

You deserved it 2 715

Tough shit

By c.m.g. - This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff

Today, I was taking a dump in a porta-potty at a fair. I had the runs really bad. All I have to say is that it's tough to take a shit that seems never-ending while other people outside are bitching at you and hammering on the flimsy door. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 572

You deserved it 3 914

Self report

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I was with my 3 year-old son in the doctor's office. During the exam, he informed the doctor that he doesn't sleep in mommy's bed anymore because mommy sleeps in her underwear and farts all night long. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 695

You deserved it 8 756

Mommy milk time

By TheLastSerenade - This FML is from back in 2013 but it's good stuff - Australia - Sydney

Today, I saw a woman breastfeeding her child at the local park. That would have been just fine if the child wasn't at least 8 years-old. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 293

You deserved it 4 109

GrossAir

By Nolongeracriminal - 05/11/2023 06:11

Today, I was on a plane heading home from vacation with the family, when went to relieve my bladder and stepped on someone's shit. They seemingly decided the floor was a better then the toilet. I walked all the way back to my seat with shit on my sandal, my sister thought I'd shat myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 573

You deserved it 153

Yada yada yade

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, while waiting for my mom to pick me up from university, I took out my phone and pretended to talk to someone. I didn't think people still pointed and laughed, but apparently they do when your mom pulls up and shouts, "Stop pretending to talk to someone." FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 037

You deserved it 33 781

alyssabreanne90 16

Friday 24 October 2014 0:57

That's actually pretty adorable!

Flaming_Pandas 15

Friday 24 October 2014 0:58

Well, it sounds like you've gotten yourself into a shifty situat- *downvoted into the depths of hell*

Comments

davincidasecond 24

Friday 24 October 2014 2:52

Hahaha, she's adorable!

captainsmegma 12

Friday 24 October 2014 3:59

You should then yell "I'M DONE. SOMEONE COME AND WIPE ME"

bobdlawr 8

Friday 24 October 2014 4:49

#35 that's almost what I'd do except I'd look at my daughter and say that... Wait no I wouldn't cause my son would prolly try

superdom 12

Friday 24 October 2014 4:32

That's adorable mommy and daughter moment

NostalgiaFreak9 41

Friday 24 October 2014 4:36

I'm sorry, but I literally dropped my phone and almost died laughing.

NostalgiaFreak9 41

Friday 24 October 2014 4:39

You're daughter is gonna make a great motivational speaker one day.

hk1998 8

Friday 24 October 2014 4:49

Yay your daughter is proud of you!

TheyCallMeDamien 17

Friday 24 October 2014 4:59

Your daughter sounds sweet.

worldclassrager 39

Friday 24 October 2014 8:19

Family restroom...

misshaleyblake 8

Friday 24 October 2014 8:25

lol at least she knows it's right to go in the potty! Good job for praising her. My daughter does those things to me too, but mostly at home.

Britt125 16

Friday 24 October 2014 8:25

FYL. But LOL, that is hilarious... kids say the funniest things.

chidexy 21

Friday 24 October 2014 8:33

That's cute

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The Top

Today, I was finishing a cigarette outside of the mall when we heard someone fart. Turns out it was a little girl. They looked around, so jokingly I said, "We didn't hear anything." Her family giggled and so did we, until everyone realized the little girl was now sobbing. I'm a POS. FML

I agree, your life sucks 841

You deserved it 189

Today, I found out I have syphilis. I only slept with one person in my entire life, my boyfriend of 2 years. When I told him about it, he burst into tears and said, "It was one time at a company party" and "Maybe if you put some Vagisil or something, it will go away." Seriously? FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 941

You deserved it 137

The Top

Today, I bought $3 hair ties. I then spent the night at the emergency vet after my kitten managed to open the drawer and eat them. So today, I actually bought $1003 hair ties. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 827

You deserved it 296

Today, I got stood up by all five of my friends. I had to spend two hours getting hit on by a guy because I didn't feel safe to drive home. Their excuse? They didn't think I was serious when I said I was already at the bar. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 420

You deserved it 755

Today, my boyfriend finally answered my Snapchats. He was laying on a bed with purple pillows and sheets. His are gray. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 950

You deserved it 248

Today, my mom was going through the newspaper and cutting out coupons for me to use. She hands me two of them, one for tampons and the other for a pregnancy test saying "well, you're gonna need one or the other this month." FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 736

You deserved it 7 341

Today, my friend and I thought it would be funny if we could both fit into her big sweatpants. When we tried to take a step, she fell on top of me. She started peeing uncontrollably. We had to cut ourselves out of the sweatpants. FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 620

You deserved it 37 068

Today, my best guy friend set me up on a blind date. Almost immediately after the guy and I sat down, he excused himself to make a call. A couple of feet away from our table, I heard him say, "Come on, Justin, this is the best you could do??" Over the phone. Justin is the guy who set us up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 712

You deserved it 3 311

Same thing different taste

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