Work: Today, was my first day of work in my life. I was excited, and...

By sheisselluv - 11/05/2014 20:30 - Germany - Gera

Today, was my first day of work in my life. I was excited, and so was my dad, who saw me to the door and ruffled my hair as he wished me luck. I didn't notice until half an hour after arriving at work that he'd stuck his gum in my hair. Nobody bothered to tell me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 349

You deserved it 4 201

Labour Day: Rest or Disaster?
Find out how a day off can turn into a series of hilarious, unexpected events. More…

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Same thing different taste

Surprise!

By BAMashleyx3 - 06/06/2019 06:07

Today, my dad texted me while I was in the dentist's chair getting my teeth cleaned. The dental hygienist jumped at the notification sound my phone made and split my gum open. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 894

You deserved it 661

By Anonymous - 11/08/2014 17:24 - Czech Republic - Prague

Today, I was walking to a job interview. I needed to get rid of some gum but there were no trash cans in sight, so I spat it out on the ground. Next thing I know, some guy grabs me, sticks the gum in my hair, and walks off, muttering curses. I couldn't get it out in time for the interview. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 698

You deserved it 51 455

By Anonymous - 31/03/2015 03:52 - Netherlands - Utrecht

Today, it was my first day working as a dental assistant, leaving me in charge of all cleaning. The first patient was so scared, he peed his pants. Which might have been understandable if he hadn't been a fully grown man. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 485

You deserved it 2 471

Minty freshness

By Sergie - 04/06/2010 09:28 - Ireland

Today, I was getting ready for my first day at work. Right before leaving the house I brushed my teeth thoroughly one more time to have a fresh breath. While cleaning my tongue, I went too far, which made me throw up. I was 20 minutes late for work. Good start. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 198

You deserved it 28 363

Unforgettable

By Anonymous - 25/10/2019 12:00 - Australia - Perth

Today, it was my first day of work at my new job. I got dressed and arrived early, only to find out that the store had closed due to a power outage. Then I found out that the person who'd hired me had totally forgotten about hiring me anyway. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 928

You deserved it 115

It's called a calendar

By Anonymous - 19/05/2021 17:31 - India - Mumbai

Today, it was my first day at my first job, I got up early, got ready, waited an hour for HR to call. I called them instead and they didn't answer, so I wrote an email to the partners. It turns out I got the first day date wrong. Some first impression. FML

I agree, your life sucks 739

You deserved it 431

By Anonymous - 26/10/2010 00:22 - United States

Today, I went to my first day of work in over 2 years. As I approached the boss, he asked me what my name was. Turned out they hired the wrong person. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 631

You deserved it 2 377

By Eyalsh - 30/01/2015 04:53 - Germany - Greifswald

Today, I came back to my dormitory after a long shift at work. After using the toilet, I looked at myself in the mirror, only to find a huge piece of food stuck between my front teeth. I work at one of the fanciest restaurants in town; nobody bothered to tell me anything. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 399

You deserved it 2 799

By Anonymous - 19/08/2015 05:49 - United States - San Jose

Today, my mom kissed me goodbye before I went to a big job interview. I got weird looks on the way there, but I figured it was just because I look like a massive douche in formal wear. Turns out my mom had smeared lipstick all over my chin. The person who finally let me know was my interviewer. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 975

You deserved it 2 743

First day at work

By dumbass724 - 13/01/2020 14:00 - Canada - Brampton

Today, it was my first day of work, and I was wondering why everyone was staring and laughing at me. I looked down and I realized that the fly on my jeans was open. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 934

You deserved it 473

Melodija 19

Monday 12 May 2014 1:38

Oh god, can you get it out or do you have to cut it out? That's a great first impression though :P

harrypotter955 19

Monday 12 May 2014 1:38

Well that's a sticky situation...

Comments

ishchandan 14

Monday 12 May 2014 5:19

What flavour was it?

Echosnow 15

Monday 12 May 2014 6:32

You can't pick your family.

worldclassrager 39

Monday 12 May 2014 6:46

That shouldn't be held over you too long...better yet let's hope not at all...hope the rest of you day went well

KevenV 10

Monday 12 May 2014 6:54

Well at least people will remember you now :D

alexfai3619 8

Monday 12 May 2014 8:15

oh.

Mat2000_1 4

Monday 12 May 2014 11:21

That's a sticky situation...

vichu86 1

Monday 12 May 2014 13:31

something worth remembering on first day at work. one of the days n ways to remember ur excited dad

chosha_fml 26

Monday 12 May 2014 15:44

SO not funny. God I hate asshole parents.

thewife5 19

Monday 12 May 2014 16:23

You need to crush up a Viagra and put it in his breakfast so he can walk around with Woody at work.

TopHatNinja68 6

Monday 12 May 2014 19:50

Ur dads a dick

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The Top

Today, one of my roommates bought new cowboy boots. He insists on wearing them indoors. Every morning he paces up and down the linoleum areas of the apartment with the boots on until he absolutely has to go to work, waking us up with the clomping noises. I and my other roommate work night and graveyard shifts. FML

I agree, your life sucks 401

You deserved it 70

Today, there's a stray black cat in my apartment complex. It had badly bitten me two months ago and I had to get several injections. Today the same cat barged into my flat when I opened the door to receive a delivery, and it attacked my cat. I barely managed to fight and push him out of my flat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 403

You deserved it 73

The Top

Today, with words of encouragement from my mom, I vacuumed my room. After finishing and admiring my job well done, I went to put the vacuum away. It caught on the plug for my electric razor which was dangling below the dresser and yanked that and everything else that was on top of it off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 404

You deserved it 1 288

Today, I heard crashing noises coming from my dining room. I got up to see what it was; my asshat cat was flinging himself at my chandelier. He'd figured out how to grab the ceiling fan from the other room, build momentum, and launch into my expensive chandelier. Hooray. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 682

You deserved it 5 362

Today, I watched Change-Up with my dad. He made us leave half-way through the movie, because he thought I was too young to watch a movie this explicit. I'm 25. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 788

You deserved it 3 262

Today, I had an ingrown toenail cut out, and the pain medication I received doesn't actually help with the pain. Instead, it makes me high, which results in me losing my balance and slamming my injured toe into objects, and then getting sick from that new pain. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 346

You deserved it 4 726

Today, I found out I'm pregnant. Last week my coworker, who I sit next to 5 days a week, returned to work after bereavement maternity leave. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 551

You deserved it 175

Today, I decided to spice up my lunch by adding hot sauce to my sandwich. Little did I know, the hot sauce bottle had a faulty cap, and as I squeezed it, the entire contents shot directly into my eye. Now, not only is my lunch ruined, but I also look like I just auditioned for a role in a tear-jerker movie. FML

I agree, your life sucks 429

You deserved it 104