By MarkQ95 - 21/07/2013 23:58 - Ireland

Spicy
Today, trying to flirt with a girl, I was trying to make it out as if I had a great sex life. I got stuck between saying "100% customer satisfaction" and "no complaints" and blurted out "100% customer complaints." FML
I agree, your life sucks 30 836
You deserved it 59 745
May Day: Lily of the Valley and Misunderstandings
When lilies of the valley bring good luck... or not! Discover the stories behind every little bell! More…
Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

Next

Top comments

Narcoterrorist 6

What makes you think she would be attracted to you if she was under the impression that you ****** herds of ***** with no rhyme or reason?

244 11
Infamous_Tora 12

Complaining about how you are too good, right?

222 8

Comments

azwethinkweiz87 11

Yeah, I love it when a guy talks about the other women he's had sex with.... what the hell were you thinking!?

26 0
joea21 21

Even if you would have said it the right way you're still an idiot for thinking talking about sex if flirting. Grow up a little

17 0
puffleprincess 7

Major YDI, dude. Women don't want to have sex with men that are currently having sex with another person/other people, unless they're awful easy tramps, and you don't want that kinda girl anyway. Plus, women tend to instantly disbelieve braggarts and think them amusing fools. Just so you know...

23 3
sammyjanette 17

You know what's funny? I've seen two comments saying that you don't want the kind of girl who likes a guy who sleeps around. Um, isn't the OP purporting himself to be that type of guy? Why is it OK for OP to be like that, but not the girl he was talking to?

8 3
tiernang 21

He is saying that the only people who would want to have sex with OP are ******, but only because OP put himself out there to look like one too.

10 2
puffleprincess 7

#35-yeah, I was basically saying what #41 said. Most women don't wanna sleep w/ a guy that's sleeping around, & on the other hand, most men don't wanna sleep w/ women that sleep around. OP was trying 2 make himself sound like a manwhore, so ****** r probably the only type of girl that would want him

2 0
8born8 18

That's what happens when the little man inside your head leaves his post to go and get a coffee.

13 1
xblaine 17

You shot yourself in the the foot with that one.

4 1
zandalee 19

Funny how when we lie we often **** up... Just be yourself, be modest. It's far more sexy. ;)

6 1
Stephy94 9

And the girl's reaction was probably to think, "100% of an STI..."

12 1
Goblin182 26

Sexually Transmitted idiocy?

1 6
tiernang 21

You spelled it wrong in the comment that you tried to fix it, too...

0 8
tiernang 21

Unless you are saying infection... But then there's no need to fix it.

0 8
tiernang 21

Ya, I realized that all too late. My apologies.

0 2
hiholls 13

If you came within .00001 seconds of even thinking of using such a thing to impress me, I'd immediately be uninterested. Never mind your embarrassing fail :/ sorry OP just not my thing. FYL

9 0
buddy51 23

OP- did you break up with your last GF because she told you she had diabetes and you were afraid of catching it? You're doing a fine job of self-selecting women who are seeking he-******- Keep it up and you should find just the kind of girl you're looking for- lying, cheating, un-trustable and moronic- a match made in heaven just for you!!

8 5
miaoucore 13

bragging about "how good you are" and the "many" ladies you get wont get you anywhere. it just makes you look like a douche. but it just depends who youre talking to but really. dont

4 1