Intimacy: Today, the real estate guy came with potential buyers to visit...

By rmL - 13/10/2008 08:31

Today, the real estate guy came with potential buyers to visit my house. He opened my bedroom while I was wanking. FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 998

You deserved it 41 585

May Day: Lily of the Valley and Misunderstandings
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Same thing different taste

By visn - 17/06/2009 05:15 - United States

Today, a real estate agent showed my house to some buyers. I found out when I exited the shower, fully nude, to them in the hallway. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 922

You deserved it 5 288

Hi there!

By anon - 26/07/2010 00:07 - Canada

Today, I was showing a house to a couple who were interested in buying. At least they "were" interested until they opened the blinds, looked out of the bedroom window and saw the neighbor on the toilet taking a dump. He was naked. He was hairy. He smiled and waved. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 833

You deserved it 3 532

Why hello there...

By Shocked - 28/01/2018 19:00

Today, while looking at a house to buy, I opened a bathroom door. There was a naked man on the toilet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 688

You deserved it 430

By Anonymous - 19/10/2018 14:00

Today, I was in the middle of a wank when my home's back door, which is always locked, suddenly opened and someone walked in. I’m not sure who was more surprised: me or the new maintenance guy who saw me wanking. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 327

You deserved it 639

Burglary [gone sexual]

By Anonymous - 01/12/2010 05:11 - United States

Today, two guys broke into my apartment to rob me at gunpoint. While I was wanking. FML

I agree, your life sucks 65 243

You deserved it 11 843

Offensive people work in TV? What a surprise!

By Anonymous - 18/05/2016 14:50 - United States - Frisco

Today, a TV crew filmed my house for a real estate show. They got an actor to pretend he owned the place but wanted to move. The host kept saying how shit my house is, and while talking about me with his producer, he said, "Know how I know he ain't a fag? Fags can actually decorate." FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 933

You deserved it 1 174

Check this out

By Roger Quimble - 24/05/2019 00:04

Today, after taking a refreshing shower, I found out that due to a newly-built platform, people in the apartment underneath can see right into my bedroom. While I was standing there completely naked, some guy smiled at me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 914

You deserved it 255

By Lewis - 04/09/2010 11:02 - Australia

Today, I walked in the door and heard my husband calling me to the bedroom. I got a little excited, took my clothes off, and walked into the bedroom. I forgot our mortgagor was inspecting our house today. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 249

You deserved it 34 478

By Ophelia - 08/06/2016 04:05 - United States - Hudson

Today, a realtor came to take a look at my house. I had worked all morning to make it look lovely. When they took pictures, I explained a number of ways I could change things so everything would look as good as possible. After the house tour, they told me it should be bulldozed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 871

You deserved it 1 063

By Nicoleanne - 20/11/2016 14:08

Today, I hosted an open house. I forgot about it and arrived as they were leaving. There were dirty dishes and laundry everywhere, and my dildo was on my dresser. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 484

You deserved it 13 256

ubbiejames 0

Wednesday 15 April 2009 21:00

#5, the only person he knew that was coming was himself.

pommeblossom 0

Wednesday 18 March 2009 3:34

Why would you do that if people were coming?

Comments

CottonCandyCum 0

Friday 16 July 2010 1:37

Locking the door would have helped.

boydee 0

Friday 16 July 2010 9:30

wow you are really pretty # 66 and 21 also # 17 just cause your a **** addict doesn't mean the rest of us are

randomviolet 0

Sunday 1 August 2010 4:18

panda bearz and pudden zebra horsez and nail polish

Hozay 0

Friday 24 September 2010 10:42

you should have started jackin off

toastedgrapes 0

Wednesday 21 September 2011 13:47

that's the whole point of this - he WAS

biass 0

Friday 1 October 2010 16:58

idiot boy

SadinSherman 16

Monday 25 October 2010 13:59

Next time use a lock on the door

urdirtyolduncle 15

Monday 6 December 2010 22:36

SOLD !

magicstar 0

Wednesday 29 December 2010 9:00

AWWKKWWAARRDD

truehitman2010 0

Tuesday 4 January 2011 6:18

fake!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

sexylol_fml 4

Saturday 9 April 2011 0:58

Wow! How dis you not know they were coming? Why would you be wanking anyways when you knew they were coming?

Keywords

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Today, one of my co-workers, who I secretly hate, announced she and her husband were expecting. She's rather big. Without thinking, I said, "How did he manage to find your vag under those fat rolls?" I got placed on suspension and now have to attend a training on sexual harassment in the workplace. FML

I agree, your life sucks 288

You deserved it 3 755

Today, I found out that my toxic mother-in-law's retirement plans include moving in with us when she gets old. The death glares I’m getting from my wife right now are so worth the satisfaction I got from telling that evil old bat I’d burn the house down first before I let her move into it with us. FML

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The Top

Today, I was giving a presentation when my voice cracked like a teenage boy going through puberty. The audience giggled every time it happened. FML

I agree, your life sucks 606

You deserved it 66

Today, I dropped my phone in the frying pan whilst cooking my steak. I had to rinse off the oil immediately and clean the phone, then had to eat a cold steak. FML

I agree, your life sucks 287

You deserved it 1 028

Today, my mother cooked breakfast for everyone at my house. Then I later found one of my sex toys in the sink. I “casually” asked her what she used it for, and turns out she used it to make everyone’s scrambled eggs. She thought it was an electric egg whisk. FML

I agree, your life sucks 248

You deserved it 490

Today, a water snake slithered into our pool. He can have it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 538

You deserved it 518

Today, my husband, who didn’t even cry when his father died, got angry and cried for an hour all because I put a 1 cm scratch on his classic car. FML

I agree, your life sucks 513

You deserved it 719

Today, my roommate read an article about unplugging appliances to save on electricity. Too bad the fucking moron also unplugged the fridge. We came home to a corpse-like stench and a fridge full of moldy food. We were gone for two weeks while the sludge marinated in the California heat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 267

You deserved it 207