By Dxxk Biter - 20/02/2018 06:00

Spicy
Today, the first guy I tried to have sex with at university got his foreskin stuck in his zip and had to go to hospital for stitches. He told all his friends I did it on purpose with my teeth during a blowjob. I now have a reputation, so I guess I'm staying single for the next 3 years. FML
I agree, your life sucks 7 186
You deserved it 703

Same thing different taste

Top comments

Tbh he sounds like the sort of guy who’s going to have a few sexual mishaps and fumblings in his life, so people will soon figure out that he’s full of shit and you’ll get your rep back. Honestly, just tell the truth if anyone brings it up, but otherwise try not to worry about it. Going on the defensive will just look like you’ve got something to hide, so people will believe him as a result. Dw OP, this will pass.

Don't worry, rumours pass. Just tell the truth about what actually happened, and anyone who believes him over you isn't worth your time anyway.

Comments

Now do it for real and send him back to the hospital.

Tbh he sounds like the sort of guy who’s going to have a few sexual mishaps and fumblings in his life, so people will soon figure out that he’s full of shit and you’ll get your rep back. Honestly, just tell the truth if anyone brings it up, but otherwise try not to worry about it. Going on the defensive will just look like you’ve got something to hide, so people will believe him as a result. Dw OP, this will pass.

own it, say he said something bad during the ********. turn it back on him

giving him the reputation of a sexual assaulter is not ok or legal. he should not have lied and that hurts OP but these things are dangerous. Please don't do that to another human being and falsely accuse. It also wouldn't be fair on people who have suffered assault. I am assuming by 'did something bad' you are referring to sexual assault

I am so sorry I misread you comment. i thought it said 'did' rather than 'said'

I am so sorry I misread your comment. I thought you wrote 'did' rather than 'said.' I take it back.

Don't worry, rumours pass. Just tell the truth about what actually happened, and anyone who believes him over you isn't worth your time anyway.

Why don’t you transfer to a different university? Once your nickname on campus is “The Mohel,” you really have to go elsewhere! Did you hear the one about the mohel who didn’t charge a fee for ritual circumcisions? He only took tips.

Chris_1163187222 15

Does he not know you can tell the difference and well teeth would do damage elsewhere than a zip

Does your campus have anyone you could talk to or register a complaint with? This is slander, and if people are actually treating you differently over this, it affects your education. Does your uni have counseling available through the school? If so, and if those services have a good rep (not all do), maybe talk to them about your experience, and see what they say. Perhaps they can make suggestions about how to deal with this through the school. That guy's behavior is gross and despicable. And if someone seriously asks you what happened, tell the truth: He hurt himself by accident, then afterwards told everyone you did it. You don't know why he did this, but it is presumably some flaw in his character, and you can say that. He's lied in a way that affects someone else's reputation, and he made that someone else's first, and aborted, sexual experience. Unless mad terrorists are holding his family hostage unless he tells everyone you bit his penis, it is obvious he has severe flaws in his character. He is inconsiderate. He was callous. He's probably cowardly and can't even admit he accidentally hurt himself. He is knowingly lying, and more than lying he is telling lies that are hurtful, and which could tarnish your reputation. He is dishonest, plus some combination of cowardly, cruel, and callous. Those are character flaws. So if you say he has lied about you, and clearly has some flaw in his character, you probably won't be slandering _him_. But I don't know what the atmosphere is at your university, or whether that sort of fight is one that won't be impossibly difficult for little reward. If nothing else, we can wish penis-leprosy on him, right?

Aren't you the girl who told her circumsized boyfriend that he has too much foreskin? Guess you were right.

At least you don’t have to deal with his smeg. If there’s foreskin there is smeg. No exceptions.

Lobby_Bee 17

If any guy were smart, they figured you are willing to put out and all got to do is wear sweats. All the benefits and non of the dangers.

Donut_Wizard 23

Sounds like his foreskin just got reduced to a threeskin.