Miscellaneous: Today, once again, I explained that yes, I'm Russian. No, I'm...

By Anonymous - 11/05/2015 06:59 - Canada - Maple Ridge

Today, once again, I explained that yes, I'm Russian. No, I'm not a communist. No, I don't pray to a picture of Putin riding a bear. And no, I don't have any vodka on me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 301

You deserved it 3 554

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 14/03/2012 06:15 - Australia

Today, a Russian guy came up to me on the train and informed me that I look exactly like a typical Russian woman. He then went on to explain that I even had enough fat to survive their cold winters. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 066

You deserved it 4 394

By StudentAbroad - 18/02/2016 13:27 - Ukraine - Kiev

Today, several Ukrainians didn't believe me when I said I was American. Apparently I'm not fat enough. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 003

You deserved it 2 736

By Anonymous - 09/05/2019 20:00

Today, I had to explain to a coworker that even though, yes, I’m Polish and, yes, my family’s from Poland, that, no, we’re not from The North Pole. We’re not from Antarctica either. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 926

You deserved it 117

You wouldn't get it

By FourMoreBeers - 22/08/2022 14:00

Today, my now-former friend explained in extreme hyperbole that the only reason Russia invaded Ukraine is because Zelensky is a zionist agent meant to make Putin and Trump look bad. He stopped taking my calls after I asked him to explain this. FML

I agree, your life sucks 888

You deserved it 156

Is this a recurring thing?

By Wayne and Friends - 23/03/2022 16:00

Today, we had to sit our friend down and explain that President Zelensky is not a Mossad agent/US puppet who forced Putin to invade Ukraine. He responded by talking about Hunter Biden for an hour. FML

I agree, your life sucks 925

You deserved it 251

By communistgirl - 24/01/2012 16:42 - United States

Today, I had to do community service work, so I helped out at a senior center. One of the confused elderly patients, who believed the Cold War was still on, thought I was a Soviet and started screaming about how I was going to nuke his country. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 915

You deserved it 4 061

Supportive

By ChubbyAmerican - 22/05/2010 23:24 - United States

Today, my very handsome, fit, Russian boyfriend tried to make me feel better about being a little overweight by telling me, "It's okay, you're American, everyone expects you to be fat." FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 923

You deserved it 15 905

By Anonymous - 07/04/2017 04:00

Today, for the fifth time this month, I had to explain to a group of people that yes, my name really is Donald Trump. Like all the other groups, they burst out laughing and did some Trump impressions for 15 minutes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 603

You deserved it 671

By happy birthday to me - 05/12/2013 05:14 - United States

Today, I had to explain to half of my class that yes, my birthday is on the same day as Hitler's, but no, it does not make me a Nazi. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 741

You deserved it 3 125

By Claudine - 30/06/2015 06:18 - Belgium - Liège

Today, my boss is on the phone with a Russian customer, who keeps saying, "Speak Russian please!" My boss asks me to translate, as he hired me for my knowledge of Russian. He says something, I translate in Russian, then the customer says, "Speak English please!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 349

You deserved it 2 083

MrConcise 34

Monday 11 May 2015 16:52

No vodka on you? What good is being Russian? I'm sincerely disappointed, OP.

Wizardo 33

Monday 11 May 2015 16:49

As any well trained sleeper cell is meant to do buddy.

Comments

sybe112 14

Tuesday 12 May 2015 7:49

Ну, вы должны.

daemonsparta 16

Tuesday 12 May 2015 10:55

putin was top in times 100... get to prayin comrade

Fas4wd 13

Tuesday 12 May 2015 11:50

I'm gonna guess you're in the USA. Right?

Shade1982 20

Wednesday 13 May 2015 12:48

It says BC, Canada...

EnderHorse 17

Tuesday 12 May 2015 13:26

Oh my god! Thank you! I am Russian as well and everyone assumes I do the same -_- I'm thirteen.

xcllla_ 27

Tuesday 12 May 2015 14:55

I know that feeling.

battlehamster 8

Tuesday 12 May 2015 15:57

Lies.

battlehamster 8

Thursday 14 May 2015 4:26

Wow I got moderated? I guess someone didn't understand the joke. It's a line. Chill out.

gtkt1 12

Tuesday 12 May 2015 18:15

I go through this all the time too. I'm Russian, and live in the southern U.S., so you can imagine the looks and questions I get.

MyScurvy 22

Wednesday 13 May 2015 1:00

How disappointing ?

derpygirl4 0

Wednesday 13 May 2015 2:16

Why no vodka?

chickypie1987 23

Wednesday 13 May 2015 2:31

I'm sorry, your Russian .. But have no vodka ... Wtf kind of BS is that! Get to your local liquor store ASAP! Like a good Russian vodka is there!

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The Top

Today, my boss made me run yet another stupid errand. When I delivered the paperwork to his office, I saw an email printout on his desk. Apparently, he has a plan in the works to get me "fried" next month. I'm not sure whether to give him a letter of resignation or a bottle of barbecue sauce. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 360

You deserved it 2 739

Today, I was stuck in a window seat next to the biggest/angriest man I've ever seen. During the trip, I reached down to pick up what I thought was my pillow but instead managed to pull off his huge sock. I couldn't put it back so had to pretend I had no idea why he was glaring at me when he woke up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 158

You deserved it 1 136

The Top

Today, in health class we were watching a documentary about anxiety. My teacher asked if any of us often feel anxious. I was too anxious to raise my hand, and went into a minor panic attack. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 438

You deserved it 4 810

Today, I was told by my manager to make sure the supervisor on shift does his job. Last month I was told I couldn't be a supervisor. Apparently I can supervise someone who earns more than I do though. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 714

You deserved it 1 729

Today, I walked face first into a near-invisible spiderweb. There's nothing worse than the feeling of a spider web wrapped around your face. Except maybe the feeling of the spider that saw my screaming mouth as a good hiding spot. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 000

You deserved it 2 178

Today, I ate some amazing homemade brownies that my best friend's wife made for us. She waited till I'd shoved a third one into my mouth before she mentioned she made them with breast milk. Knowing her, I don't even doubt it was true. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 264

You deserved it 5 062

Today, while playing a game, my girlfriend told a bunch of our friends that she's never had an orgasm. News to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 392

You deserved it 5 108

Today, my boyfriend once again asked me if I could “not get so wet down there” when we have sex, because it “feels funny”. Ummm, even if I could control it, I never knew it was a problem. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 393

You deserved it 167

Same thing different taste

You wouldn't get it

Is this a recurring thing?

Supportive

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