Work: Today, on my first day of work, my new boss treated me to lunch....

By niceboss - 25/11/2010 02:32 - Singapore

Today, on my first day of work, my new boss treated me to lunch. Thinking she was really nice, I thanked her for the treat. She fixed me with a cold, unsmiling stare and said, "Oh, don't thank me. I'm being paid to do this." FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 726

You deserved it 2 722

Labour Day: Rest or Disaster?
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Same thing different taste

Jekyll and Hyde

By Anonymous - 09/08/2021 10:01

Today, I found out my "nice" boss was only nice to me for my first month. She's now started yelling at me for every little thing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 831

You deserved it 81

How very dare you?

By FOXYgrandpa441 - 19/07/2012 00:41 - United States - Casper

Today, I was getting lunch at a fast food restaurant. My boss was in front of me, and in order to get on his good side I offered to pay. Instead, I got fired because I guess my boss assumed I was making fun of his salary, which I knew nothing about. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 531

You deserved it 3 168

By Anonymous - 14/12/2010 04:13 - United States

Today, at my new job, I took some food out to a customer. Walking away, I heard a lady mumble, "Oh my God, you could never pay me enough to wear that." FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 547

You deserved it 3 532

By scoobses - 02/10/2015 00:45 - United States

Today, my pain-in-the-ass co-worker is finally leaving. Unfortunately, I was chosen to do the bulk of her job. She has given me no training and on her last day, just smirked at me on her way out and say, "Enjoy doing my job too, fucker". I don't get paid enough for this. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 880

You deserved it 1 897

Goofs and gaffes

By Chelsea - 23/02/2023 12:00 - United States

Today, I called my new boss by my old boss's name during a meeting. My new boss said nothing, but just glared at me in silence. Somehow, I think he wasn't impressed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 598

You deserved it 220

Workplace etiquette

By Anonymous - 04/03/2024 15:00 - United States

Today, my new boss sat me down and told me he's seriously reconsidering my hire, all because I greeted him with, "Howdy, boss!" instead of, "Good morning, sir." Apparently this indicates a lack of respect for his authority. FML

I agree, your life sucks 404

You deserved it 452

Piss poor management

By God dammit - 27/04/2024 02:00 - United States

Today, my boss called on my day off and told me to come to work. She neglected to tell me that it was simply to give me my recent paycheck after it got lost, but then she said, "Since you showed up in uniform, you might as well clock in for today. The new guy no-showed again." FML

I agree, your life sucks 446

You deserved it 71

Someone thinks highly of themselves

By Anonymous - 20/04/2022 10:00

Today, on my first day, I tried to ask my new boss a question, she visibly recoiled and actually gave me the, “I already have a boyfriend” line, and shut her door in my face, then locked it. I still need my question answered before I can start working, so I guess I’ll just sit and do nothing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 056

You deserved it 84

By texasbest - 02/09/2015 02:39 - United States - Lindale

Today, at my new job, I walked into the office to hear my supervisor and HR manager talking about how, "the new guy isn't very smart, but we can get him to do the shit work for a couple weeks." Gee, thanks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 742

You deserved it 2 016

No ethical consumption under capitalism

By Anonymous - 20/02/2022 18:00

Today, I got fired. A woman, who'd been ignoring me at the workplace, told me I wasn't friendly enough. She turned out to be the manager. Apparently, she likes to test the new hires by being extremely cold and unwelcome. She never even introduced herself. Also, it only pays 70% of the minimum wage. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 224

You deserved it 127

green_eyes124 0

Thursday 25 November 2010 8:59

Hey, it was free right?! Lucky you : )

piepieburger 0

Thursday 25 November 2010 9:01

Well, technically, so are you.

Comments

Troll45 0

Thursday 25 November 2010 14:14

#5 looks like Justin beaver

brownlace 0

Thursday 25 November 2010 14:14

well congrats for having a job anyway

imahitu 0

Thursday 25 November 2010 14:39

it is a joke music is music, it's noises compiled together to make a sound. there's no theory to it retard

heyheywaddup 7

Thursday 25 November 2010 16:11

wat kinda boss gets paid for makin sandwiches???

triggerit 5

Thursday 25 November 2010 16:27

you got a job you got a ****... good news

Luckysam1984 0

Thursday 25 November 2010 20:02

Thats messed up and funny at the same time.

TeenieAmerica 9

Thursday 25 November 2010 22:28

Well, yeah, it is business, but she just said thank you. The boss could have been nice and said you're welcome.

zhengyu718 0

Friday 26 November 2010 7:46

Take it easy, she's not wrong about that

FrannyPackIt 0

Saturday 27 November 2010 8:26

...well was she hot?

TheRealMidnite 0

Wednesday 19 January 2011 14:43

Well, forewarned is forearmed, right?

Keywords

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The Top

Today, my wife and I got frisky in the living room, completely forgetting we recently gave our adult daughter access to our home security cameras for safety reasons. The cameras didn’t see anything but she now keeps making fun of my orgasm noises, which apparently she found hilarious. FML

I agree, your life sucks 115

You deserved it 398

Today, I realized that whenever I use emoticons, I tend to make the same face in real life. My coworkers gleefully showed me various pictures with my tongue out, face scrunched up, and so on, while staring at my phone. They've already made their way around the office. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 007

You deserved it 21 832

The Top

Today, I got yelled at for 30 minutes while on a date for using the word "bitch." I used it to describe my friend's wife, who will also yell at you for 30 minutes for using a word she doesn't like. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 028

You deserved it 1 903

Today, my proposal to my girlfriend was ruined when my brother was too cheap to iTunes the song I wanted playing, so he YouTubed it instead. It’s very difficult to propose while speakers are blasting an unskippable 30-second advert about formula being a healthy alternative to breastfeeding. FML

I agree, your life sucks 314

You deserved it 548

Today, I walked in on my boyfriend of 7 years with another woman. He panicked and blamed it on the "long distance" and how we "never see each other". We've lived in the same neighbourhood since we were 5 years old, and we've lived together for the past four years. FML

I agree, your life sucks 80 935

You deserved it 5 407

Today, I went to a family funeral. Talking to my grandfather, trying to chitchat, he said, "You're gaining weight, aren't you?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 124

You deserved it 4 271

Today, I finally got up the nerve to ask this really cute girl out I've had a crush on for over eight months. Turns out she isn't a girl. FML

I agree, your life sucks 97 168

You deserved it 34 555

Today, while I was working in a department store, two 15-year-old kids started having sex in a changing room. When I found them, the boy pulled out and said, "You want in, bitch?" I then had to prevent his jealous, half-naked girlfriend from murdering me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 325

You deserved it 198