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FML - The follow-up
jfanous Say more :
haha, yeah i'm the OP. didn't know you need an account to comment...but I just wanted to clear up something. I didn't want my parents to pay, a simple "you got in" would have been nice. I was planning on doing ROTC and letting Uncle Sam handle my tuition.
By jfanous - / Sunday 1 September 2013 10:40 / United States - Bakersfield
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  exlexx  |  11

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  TShaunik  |  12

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  aron666  |  25

Regardless of the entitlement the parents should've told him that he got accepted, and afterwards there could've been a normal discussion about future procedures. I wouldn't hesitate a moment supporting my child in education, and also in my opinion if one has higher priorities than supporting ones child parent-ship isn't for him/her.

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  captainmpg  |  9

No, what is selfish and immature is the parents not letting the OP seeing the letters or letting the OP figure out their own future. If they aren't going to pay for university, they can tell the op, and the op can figure out the rest. What they did is deny the op a future based on their selfishness, and inability to have the maturity or balls to tell Op that they weren't going to pay. FYL indeed op!

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  tjv3  |  9

I have a friend that graduated hs and didn't go to college. He brings home 200,000.00 a year. He spent 15.000.00 on technical certs. .

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  TogeBara  |  12

this is theft and you would probably go to jail for it with parents this selfish. It is selfish, but the point is they hid the acceptance letters and why. OP got in, all is fine.

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  scotty910  |  9

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76 - Let's say a child wants to go to college then. The parents could tell said child that they need to pay for their own education. By what right then, do these parents just not show their child that they got accepted to their two top choices?

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  SammyS2012  |  21

Jobs are hard to come across, especially without a form of higher education. Heck. even people with degrees cant find jobs. How then, are children meant to pay for college?

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  scotty910  |  9

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  TheDrifter  |  23

Canada averages between 5 and 7K a year in tuition, depending where you are. Most students should be able to cover that, or at least take a student loan and pay it off.

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  ellenjasmin  |  18

#97 that may be your opinion and what you'll choose to do when you're a parent but you can't say that if someone can't afford their whole tuition they don't "deserve to go to school". School is really tough to afford and I'm super grateful that my parents help me out. When I'm a parent, I'd be happy to sacrifice one of my luxury cars to help my child get a good education.

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  Rainbowjumper0  |  12

Heck, I'd sacrifice both luxury cars! I don't mind settling for a standard little Prius or something. And I come from Canada too, and i know some families who can't afford 5-7k a year. It really adds up. That's your opinion, which you are entitled to. But I think it's totally unfair to say they don't deserve an education. Everyone deserves an education

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As someone who pretty much supports them self at 16 with the exception of gas, electricity and food at home I totally agree with #97. Some people need to grow up and stop sponging off mummy and daddy to get anywhere in life.

By  Welshite  |  39

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  DocBastard  |  38

Oooh, you're playing with fire, Welshite. You dare state that adults should be responsible for their own futures and not depend on their parents to pay for everything? BLASPHEMY! I am now prepared to get thumbed down worse than gayboii talking about pens.

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  Welshite  |  39

Honestly, Doc, I don't see how having your parents pay for your education would be an advantage. I was recently job searching and my potential employers were extremely impressed that I worked my way through University with no financial aid or loans. It's a sign of hard work and dedication, in my opinion.

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  littlekellilee  |  41

My parents had $5 000 in a savings fund, which my grandparents matched for my grade 12 graduation. By the end of University, I left with an undergrad, two concentrations in my major, and a minor, totaling at seven years and about $25 000. Had I not paid for the majority of it, I wouldn't have appreciated it and wouldn't have worked as hard or gone to the classes. I worked throughout, which taught me not to procrastinate and how to manage my time and money. I live in Canada though, school is cheaper up here I think (if you do four years) so it's easier for kids to fund themselves.

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  Dr0n3  |  18

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  geekchick88  |  17

Welshite, I'm a student at King's College in NEPA. I could work two full time jobs in addition to school and still not have enough money to pay my tuition myself. It's a $30K a year tuition bill, but for my major, it's one of the top schools in the nation. Some students don't have the options you did, and for them, loans and grants are a godsend.

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  Welshite  |  39

So you automatically assume I went to a community college. I guess working two jobs on the side and not spending any money other than what was required for necessities means that my education isn't equal to others. By the way, you're wrong about the community college. All I'm saying is that mummy and daddy shouldn't be EXPECTED to pay. People need to take responsibility for their futures.

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  Shrike  |  22

Say what you want, but if you have children, surely you should be expected to give them the best chance you can in the world, if you can afford it, which OP's parents obviously can. You might say paying for everything isn't setting your kids up to be self-reliant, but considering how much a lot of university courses cost, it's not realistic anyway to expect them to cover it all. Don't confuse being a cheap-ass uncaring tightwad with making them take responsibility for themselves. TL;DR: Have kids? Look out for them. They're not dolls that you just toss out after 18 years.

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  DocBastard  |  38

Shrike - No, kids aren't something that you set free at 18 with no further responsibilities. But not everyone should go to college just for the sake of "more education". There are a lot of people who go and waste 4 years and a lot of their parents' money on worthless degrees. Do I think every college kid should pay his/own way through? No. But I also think expecting your parents to pay is unrealistic and a bit greedy.

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  ksks1234  |  33

Dr0n3--depending on your major, most employers could give a rats ass about which college you attended. What if wilshite went to community college? It is A LOT cheaper than a four year, and is a great way to get the basics out of the way. The local community college and the prestigious Ivy League both require the basic classes that are taught the same way.

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  perdix  |  29

#32, from a parents' perspective, I feel that if you are not prepared to pay for your kid to get the best college education they qualify for (at least to a bachelor's degree), you should not have kids. If you abandon them after high school, they are much more likely to be dependent on you far longer anyways. It's very admirable that you were able to get through college with no parental assistance, but I think your folks made it harder on you than it had to be. However, in all of the job interviews I have had, I never remember the issue of how my education was financed coming up.

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  Welshite  |  39

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Woah woah woah guys, let's take a step back for a second. All of you make very valid points; On one hand, children shouldn't expect their parents to pay for EVERYTHING and should be responsible about their expenses, but as a post-secondary student money IS going to be tight, and if the parents have the financial means to give assistance, they're not necessarily obligated to, but should if they can. I think that's the bottom line. In OP's case s/he shouldn't rely entirely on his parent's salary, but that isn't the FML. It's that they appear to be more concerned about keeping their luxury cars than they are with assisting their child with furthering his/her education.

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  Soloman212  |  28

Welshite you're arguing this from the bottom up. Yes it's admirable for the child to make it on their own, but that doesn't mean it's admirable for the parents to put them in that position. Difficulty builds character, but no one should yearn for it. Crash landing on a desolate island and surviving there alone for ten years may prove your merit, but pilots shouldn't be crash landing on to desolate islands. That said I'm not saying you have to be rich to have children, but OP makes it clear that his parents had TWO Mercedes, I think they could have afforded it. But really if they didn't want to pay they don't have to, but a much more reasonable and mature response would be to inform OP that he made it in to the universities, but that he'd have to finance it if he wants to go through with it.

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  siggy_mcsigx  |  16

I think OP would have applied for grants and scholarships if his parents had specified earlier that they would not pay for his needs... It doesn't sound like they had a family discussion about his tuition, and while it may have been naive of him to expect it, it wasn't inherently wrong of him to expect it (seeing as they had the resources), but it was cruel of them to do what they did.

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  leocockle  |  11

Well, in America, if you don't pay for your higher education completely as you go, you'll end up with $50,000 in debt and no jobs available to help you pay it off. Welcome to the Land of the Free, and by "Free" I mean debt that we'll be paying off until we die.

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  G_Man91  |  3

That's a very ignorant response Doc, and I feel sorry for any children you might have in the future, which is unlikely however, judging by the comments of this site I've seen from you. Parents aren't obligated, or even supposed to pay for their children their whole lives. But right out of highschool is a very rocky time for a young adult. And parents should indeed want to help their child out during this time by helping them achieve the means to succeed. And this case is even more insulting, considering how the parents obviously have excess money to spend.

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  Caitie_kid  |  8

I paid for most of my college. My parents helped me with the first year, I took out student loans paid for the rest on my own. If you pay on your loans like you're supposed to, you can get them down pretty fast. I will start a college fund for my child yes, but will I pay for all of it? Probably not.

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  G_Man91  |  3

I can respect that, I mean, at least your parents helped, and you'll be willing to help. Though, personally, I call BS on your statement about student loans. Those are the worst things in existence and I know several people who have been put into debt late into their lives because of them.

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  jfanous  |  5

I'm trying to be a Cardiologist (is that a meaningful enough degree for ya?). Plus, I wasn't expecting them to help me pay, and was already talking to ROTC recruiters in my area about getting through college without any debts other than the 3 years I'd owe the Army.

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  Caitie_kid  |  8

Idk, I guess it makes a difference on how much you take out and how often/much you pay on it. I'm basically done with mine, but I have a friend who's getting her doctorate through 3 different schools and also studied abroad. She will probably be paying for a long LONG time.

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  mikepzz  |  27

I think the op would be more offended that the parents would place a Mercedes over their child. Regardless what it's for. If it was my kid, the Mercedes would be gone if that meant my kid could go to a school that's just a little better.

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  DocBastard  |  38

G_man91 - Not that you'll ever read this, but I have two kids whom I love more than life itself. So go fuck yourself and your stupid fucking assumptions about me and my personal life. I hope you feel appropriately shamed.

By  Brayson  |  12

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  billionair11  |  20

Well considering op is probably trying to go to collage for money and or a good job their really isnt that many jobs for a high school diploma that could cover the tuition and books and room

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  MrSassypants  |  31

I agree. I mean seriously, college tuition is very inexpensive, and cheap, and not expensive at all making it very easy to just get a job and pay for it. Simple..... wait a second, holy fuck college tuition is expensive as hell. I think something went wrong here.

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  DocBastard  |  38

Too many negative votes, comment buried. Show the comment

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  ohSNAPyall  |  26

If you're accepted to a "top" university, you're probably also a "top" student. Unfortunately, the parents hid the acceptance letters, and thus blocked OP's chances of investigating options for scholarships, grants and jobs.

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  eksyneet  |  23

25, what is the logic behind your statement? if parents can afford top college tuition, why can't the child expect them to if not cover all of it, then at least help? why ambition to go to a prestigious university automatically means obligation to pay for it on your own (which is in that case basically impossible)?

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  SammyS2012  |  21

Doc, that statement isnt entirely true. My sister went to a community college and still couldnt afford the entire tuition. And I go to one of the cheapest universities in the state and it's still $6,000, which I cant afford with my part time job. Luckily, i got scholarships to pay off the rest

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