Miscellaneous: Today, my mum suggested that I should take self-defense lessons...

By Username - 28/09/2010 16:16 - France

Today, my mum suggested that I should take self-defense lessons just in case I ever get attacked. Jokingly, I said, "As long as I walk under street lamps, no one is going to touch me." She replied, "Well, you never know, they might mistake you for someone good looking." FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 370

You deserved it 4 849

Mother's Day: Sweets and Bummers
Between disastrous breakfasts in bed and unusual gifts, Mother's Day is an inexhaustible source of laughter. More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

By anonymous - 01/06/2009 07:05 - Korea Republic of

Today, I asked my mom if I could join my friends in getting lessons in self defense. My mom told me that I didn't need them because my face was a better weapon to repel anyone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 71 208

You deserved it 5 298

By Anonymous - 14/02/2013 00:00 - Canada - Coquitlam

Today, I was walking down the street in the dark, and the woman in front of me kept looking back nervously. I jokingly assured her that I wasn't a mugger. She then took out a knife and mugged me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 358

You deserved it 5 094

Mom of the year

By Bianca - 19/02/2024 09:00 - United States

Today, my car’s at the mechanic's so I called my mom and asked her to come pick me up from class, since it ends at 9pm and I was scared to walk home at night. She told me, “Oh honey, you have nothing to worry about, you’re too fat to get raped, plus you need the exercise.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 666

You deserved it 182

By Anonymous - 23/11/2014 17:10 - United States - San Diego

Today, I have to deal with being laughed at by my mother and sister, because they keep making sharp movements towards me, causing me to flinch. This is because I got mugged and beaten last night. They think it's hysterical. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 850

You deserved it 3 061

'Murica

By Maryann - 08/02/2018 01:30

Today, I told my dad I started taking jiu-jitsu lessons. He responded by laughing and saying, "Martial arts are for pussies, you should just get a gun." FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 332

You deserved it 650

By Female Struggles - 16/05/2014 23:20 - United States - Denver

Today, while I was waiting at the bus stop, a car that looked like my mom's pulled up. Thinking it was actually her, I walked up and jokingly asked what she was into. The guy inside now thinks that I'm a prostitute. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 550

You deserved it 17 026

Badass

By batter--up - 17/02/2010 02:54 - United States

Today, in a sporting goods store, my mom was over on the other side of the store, when a cute guy came over to talk to me. When she saw this she grabbed a bat, walked over to us and said, "If you ever even look at my daughter again, I will beat you shitless." She was serious. He ran. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 709

You deserved it 2 697

Fast response

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, my mom bought me pepper spray in case anyone tried to "mess" with me. I put it in my purse. Later, a guy snatched my purse before I even had the chance to take out the pepper spray. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 560

You deserved it 4 252

By Duckie W - 13/02/2009 01:24 - United States

Today, I was complaining to my sister about how jealous I was of her looks. Her response was "Sometimes it's okay to be the ugly sister. Like, you have less of a chance of getting raped." FML

I agree, your life sucks 57 673

You deserved it 6 226

Toxicity

By Emotional Man - 13/10/2022 02:00

Today, I've realized years of my mom and my grandma constantly "jokingly" touching me inappropriately has caused me to develop a defense mechanism where I jump out of my skin whenever anyone touches me unexpectedly, or gives me physical affection in any form. No one believes this when I tell them, because I'm a guy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 577

You deserved it 106

Cinn_fml 22

Tuesday 28 September 2010 23:30

That's a little harsh, but she was probably joking. Your mum is concerned for your well being, I'd recommend getting some self defence lessons as well, as who knows how desperate any potential attackers will be. However, you also have an excellent point, OP, if you keep to well lit streets, you are less likely to be attacked on the basis. That's common sense, which is also helpful in these kind of situations.

staciieee_x3 0

Wednesday 29 September 2010 0:01

LOLLL owned! PS. She was probably joking, so relax yourself.

Comments

MemoriesBloom 0

Tuesday 28 September 2010 23:59

That was kind of harsh for no reason = Horrible mean mother you have there.

staciieee_x3 0

Wednesday 29 September 2010 0:01

LOLLL owned! PS. She was probably joking, so relax yourself.

perdix 29

Wednesday 29 September 2010 0:04

Rapists go for the fugly ones. Instead of getting arrested and put in prison, they get thanked and are handed whatever cash the ugly ***** has on her.

stronghand0331 17

Wednesday 29 September 2010 0:24

oh how quaint...

stronghand0331 17

Wednesday 29 September 2010 0:29

oh snap! who has the audacity to moderate you? rude

Frenchtony 17

Wednesday 29 September 2010 0:09

hell yeah

sourgirl101 28

Wednesday 29 September 2010 0:11

I don't understand why some parents find humour in insulting their children. Yeah, it's probably a joke but how is being called ugly (reading between the lines) by your mom funny?