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By Anonymous - / Wednesday 27 July 2016 15:24 / United States - Coshocton
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By  cupcakekate9  |  24

You need to stop enabling your mom. She needs to learn that she can't keep using you as a source, and grow up. She's supposed to be the parent, not you. This path is going to be your life if you don't change it now. Your mom needs to learn the values of life and her lack of responsibility is wrong, especially when she is dependent on her child.

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Exactly. Paying her bills is enabling her. My dad is the same way, and my brother and sister always gives him money and helps him, because they feel "it is their duty as his children" and complain that he is so ungrateful and won't even help himself. They get mad at me when I don't help, but I tell them the same thing: Giving money to someone who is lazy is enabling, and they will never change or even be thankful if you give your financial aid so willingly. Stop paying her bills, OP, and don't let her guilt you or treat you that way. It's actually in her best interest to let her learn the hard way. You are not helping her at all with what you're doing. Sorry :(

By  cupcakekate9  |  24

You need to stop enabling your mom. She needs to learn that she can't keep using you as a source, and grow up. She's supposed to be the parent, not you. This path is going to be your life if you don't change it now. Your mom needs to learn the values of life and her lack of responsibility is wrong, especially when she is dependent on her child.

By  Papa_jpn  |  15

Like the others said, stop paying her bills --AND from the sound of it, move out. You will find that you can afford to pay your own rent when you no longer are paying her bills.

By  InfiniteSunshine  |  35

From what I see, she is the one being immensely disrespectful, 1) not respecting personal space and items that you provide for yourself, 2) taking away a grown man's phone when he's clearly on an important call, and 3) making her son do all the work simply cause she's too lazy to take responsibility as not only a grown adult, but as an older adult who's a fucking parent. She's using you and that's unacceptable. She took away your phone cause you were apparently disrespectful. Well, cut her off financially, and tell her it's for the exact same reason.

By  Jurbla  |  37

It seems like you're trying to do a good thing by helping your mom out, but in reality, you're hurting her by paying ALL of her bills. She's losing the ability to support herself and get along in life. Imagine if something happened to you and all of a sudden she has no support and two years, or more, of no practice of self reliance skills. The very fact that she still thinks she has enough power to take your phone from you, while you're doing your job which pays her bills, is proof enough that you've enabled her too much already. She seems to be starting to feel like she doesn't need to get her own job, which is really bad news It sucks, but you have to hurt her to help her. Cut off your support, it doesn't have to be totally at first, but just inform her that on a certain date, you will no longer be paying certain bills for her. You decide the date and which bills, if any, you want to continue paying. This way, she's forced to learn to care for herself again and you can still help her a little bit if you want while she becomes fully self reliant. Just make sure to cut more bills gradually until you're only paying for things you both use. Rent/mortgage, electric, etc. If she becomes angry or abusive, guess what? You have the money to live on your own if you're supporting her and yourself right now, so you can move away from her until she gets her act right. I know you have the power and the heart to make the right decision for both of you. Good luck

By  tido26  |  38

If you're paying the bills, it's definitely not her place to take your phone. A lot of people are saying move out and such, but that's not always practical so Shut off service to her phone; when she acts like a child treat her like one.

By  wisconsinfml  |  15

Too many negative votes, comment buried. Show the comment

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