Miscellaneous: Today, my grandfather showed up at my house in a panic. He rushed...

By notanightowlanymore - 05/01/2016 17:44 - United States - Clyde

Today, my grandfather showed up at my house in a panic. He rushed over, with a gun, because I wasn't answering his texts and he thought something had happened to me. I was asleep. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 311

You deserved it 2 124

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Same thing different taste

Not funny

By Anonymous - 09/10/2015 18:02 - United States - Colorado Springs

Today, while having lunch with my grandparents, my grandpa's eyes glazed over, his head fell and he slumped in his chair. I started panicking and almost cried, thinking he was dead. Then he laughed and said "Just kidding. I'm fine." FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 166

You deserved it 2 696

By hellphone_fml - 01/07/2019 20:00

Today, someone knocked on my door. I yelled "Yeah?" while getting up, since it was locked. My grandpa walked in, as I apparently didn't actually lock it. I was naked. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 366

You deserved it 648

By ToxicSuicide - 08/03/2011 06:47 - United States

Today, my babysitter called to inform me that my grandfather is stalking her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 876

You deserved it 2 950

By anonYmous - 26/02/2017 08:00 - United States - Boca Raton

Today, I received a phone call from my 91-year-old grandpa. He was lost driving somewhere in my town. I then spent the next few hours trying to teach him how to send his location until his phone died. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 033

You deserved it 769

DON'T MOVE!

By Miller_Time - 18/03/2009 18:45 - United States

Today, I woke up at three in the morning when two cops busted in the door to my apartment and a frantic voice on my cellphone saying "Sir? Sir? Are you all right? Sir?" Turns out I had been having a nightmare and dreamed I called 911. I actually did. FML

I agree, your life sucks 73 822

You deserved it 8 697

By nipman - 25/04/2011 19:12 - United States

Today, my grandpa who is staying with us mistook me for a Japanese soldier and started to hit me with a bat. This is the second night in a row. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 200

You deserved it 3 854

By badgrandchild - 16/03/2009 21:01 - United States

Today, my phone rang while I was home alone. When I picked up, all I could hear was heavy breathing. Convinced it was one of my friends playing a joke, I said loudly, "Get off the phone, you fucker, and don't call back!" It turned out it was my grandma. She had been having a stroke. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 610

You deserved it 92 117

By tazthespaz - 29/12/2016 03:18 - United States - Comstock Park

Today, a telemarketer called my house phone and asked for my grandpa. We were in the middle of having his wake. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 189

You deserved it 387

By FathersDay - 22/06/2009 05:27 - United States

Today, I told my dad I couldn't make the trip to see him this weekend because I had to work. I surprised him by driving ten hours, and while he was out, I let myself in with my key and hid behind the couch for when he came in. He walked in. I jumped out. I then had to call 911. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 407

You deserved it 21 051

By Sean - 27/10/2010 10:04 - United States

Today, we surprised my grandpa by being at his house when he arrived. We haven't seen him in seven years. He had a small heart attack. It was his birthday. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 146

You deserved it 8 054

may14th 26

Wednesday 6 January 2016 1:19

He just cares about you

Zelphoric 25

Wednesday 6 January 2016 1:19

No better alarm clock than a crazy old guy with a gun!!! You'll be out of your bed and out the door before you can say "Don't shoot me Gramps!"

Comments

domolovesyoshi 33

Wednesday 6 January 2016 2:46

Aww that's awesome

spicyburrito 18

Wednesday 6 January 2016 2:54

yo gramps got no chill

Hilda_x 25

Wednesday 6 January 2016 2:56

At least he cares about you!

becca1998 22

Wednesday 6 January 2016 2:58

At least you know someone will protect you and cares about you

lalalalololo_fml 2

Wednesday 6 January 2016 3:03

Hate to say this, but it appears to be early signs of Alzheimer's disease. Please do take him to the doctor's, just in case.

empav 16

Wednesday 6 January 2016 4:48

That's a drastic jump. Forgetfulness and random anger sure, but unnecessary fear for a loved one doesn't scream onset Alzheimer's to me.

Etweens96 25

Wednesday 6 January 2016 3:07

Look at it this way, he loves you and will protect you no matter what

anna31899 16

Wednesday 6 January 2016 3:12

Shows that he cares

anavickers 9

Wednesday 6 January 2016 3:12

Aw. It's slightly extreme but it sounds like your grandpa cares a lot about you.

ThrottleJockey 35

Wednesday 6 January 2016 3:21

Is your grandfather Liam Neeson?

LittleRed79 39

Wednesday 6 January 2016 3:47

That's sweet. Gramps is there to protect you...or shoot you in the head if you've already turned.

Keywords

Awkward Cars Embarrassing Transportation Family Babysitter Relatable Kids Thief Money Health Depression Mental health Wanker Work Bodyshaming Love Annoying Vacation Students Parenting Intimacy First Dates AITA Singing Animals Cats Weddings Public freakouts Cops

The Top

Today, I came back home after a year studying abroad. Imagine my surprise when I found out my mom had gotten breast implants while I was away. All through dinner, I kept catching myself staring at them. No wonder my dad was so much happier than when I left. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 776

You deserved it 5 102

Today, I found out my psycho ex also reads FML. She called me at work, pissed that I'd "publicly humiliated" her on here. I haven't posted about her at all. I'm sure the brick I found thrown through my window a few hours later has nothing to do with her, though. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 737

You deserved it 1 428

The Top

Today, I was at work at Panera. A blind woman came in, ordered, and said other blind people were going to come in soon, because they were having a meeting. Later, a man came in and asked if any other blind people had showed up. I told him there was just one in here wearing a blue shirt. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 207

You deserved it 91 043

Today, while I was teaching my chickens to eat out of my hand, one of the hens bit my finger and I dropped the entire handful of treats. Result: bonanza for the bird. The rest decided they could get more treats by biting me rather than by behaving. I now have a flock of fingerbiters. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 308

You deserved it 7 431

Today, I saw the coronavirus news this morning, all about the new variant. I've been working 100% remotely for past year and a half. Here we fucking go again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 951

You deserved it 164

Today, while giving a brief presentation at work, I blanked out on what I was going to say. I tried to make a joke and tell them I'd had a brain fart, but all I managed to say was, "I farted." Well, at least they all laughed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 064

You deserved it 8 687

Today, was teacher appreciation day at my school. They played a slideshow of all the teachers. The students cheered wildly for every teacher. When my picture came up, nobody clapped. The whole room was quiet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 60 028

You deserved it 26 761

Today, I asked my wife for her computer password because my computer crashed. After minutes of begging she finally told me. Turns out that her password happens to be her ex's name. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 102

You deserved it 3 720

Same thing different taste

Not funny

DON'T MOVE!

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