Intimacy: Today, my girlfriend asked me how big the Sun would be compared... - FML

By Anonymous - 27/08/2010 12:23 - United Kingdom

Spicy

Today, my girlfriend asked me how big the Sun would be compared to the Earth. I didn't have anything on me to help demonstrate, so to imitate the Earth, I made a small hole with my index finger and thumb and said "Okay, imagine a ball this small." She then looked at my crotch. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 906

You deserved it 12 693

May Day: Lily of the Valley and Misunderstandings
When lilies of the valley bring good luck... or not! Discover the stories behind every little bell! More…

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Same thing different taste

Unwarranted

By Ryan - 20/12/2011 17:57 - United States

Spicy

Today, my girlfriend and I were getting hot and heavy. She had her shirt off, and commented on the small size of her breasts. Trying to make her feel better, I said I'd dated girls with smaller breasts. She replied by saying she'd dated bigger penises. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 651

You deserved it 60 063

By Anonymous - 09/10/2012 08:38 - United States - Murrieta

Spicy

Today, I noticed that my penis looks tiny in my girlfriend's hands. Without thinking, I pointed it out to her. Now she thinks I have a small cock, and I think she has man-hands. Either way, we're both turned off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 134

You deserved it 36 889

By Mike - 21/02/2009 22:24 - United States

Spicy

Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend for the first time, and she asked me if I ever get made fun of in the locker room for my small penis. FML

I agree, your life sucks 100 903

You deserved it 7 649

Common myth

By Anonymous - 01/04/2014 06:06 - United States - Eugene

Spicy

Today, my girlfriend and I were snuggling and we placed our hands together, palm to palm. I can bend the tips of my fingers over hers, which apparently surprised her because she commented, "Huh, so big hands AREN'T related to penis size." FML

I agree, your life sucks 61 765

You deserved it 7 949

By Anonymous - 03/02/2013 16:27 - Serbia

Spicy

Today, my girlfriend and I were having a casual conversation, when the topic suddenly became my penis. Before I knew what was going on, she said, "It's not the size that matters though. It's how you use it. So I guess you're ok." FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 779

You deserved it 5 451

Humblebrag

By Anonymous - 01/02/2023 06:00

Spicy

Today, I learned that my insecurities regarding my dick size were unfounded, as my girlfriend gushed over my dick and said it was amazing. We then got down to business, and almost immediately heard, "Ow! Fuck, that's my cervix! This hurts! Stop!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 642

You deserved it 1 145

By anon - 18/01/2012 18:29 - United Kingdom

Spicy

Today, my boyfriend referred to his penis as 'The Eye of Sauron'. It didn't help when he pulled down his foreskin, pointed it in my direction and said 'I see you'. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 557

You deserved it 5 599

Observational comedy

By JackOLantern2099 - 17/12/2019 18:00

Spicy

Today, my girlfriend and I saw each other naked for the first time. She said my balls looked like little acorns. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 528

You deserved it 363

Backhanded

By wtf - 14/09/2011 18:11 - United States

Spicy

Today, my girlfriend told me that if my penis was on any other body it would be considered small, but on me it's "cute." FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 034

You deserved it 4 497

By what - 25/09/2013 14:42 - Canada - Edmonton

Spicy

Today, I asked my boyfriend about his views on personal growth. He replied, "What, you mean dick size?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 916

You deserved it 8 828

Next

Top comments

killabee 0

Friday 27 August 2010 18:56

So? Maybe it's just me but giant testes really aren't a must-have quality in a man.

just_nicole 1

Friday 27 August 2010 18:54

pahahahaha tht sux, but it made me laugh(:

Comments

astroid714 0

Friday 27 August 2010 20:35

lmao dude ...be lyk "honey my feace is up here" still pretty sad

unmadebed 0

Friday 27 August 2010 20:37

She was joking.

Takashiro 0

Friday 27 August 2010 21:02

rofl what a win! :D

CovertMilitance 0

Friday 27 August 2010 21:02

Maybe she was horny?

Xavi89 0

Friday 27 August 2010 21:17

wow! sounds like she was setting you up from the start!

hottie2hottie 0

Friday 27 August 2010 21:26

hehe(;

timmytim1984 0

Friday 27 August 2010 21:26

That was funny as hell.. But I like what the one guy said about how old is your g/f asking about the moon ! LMFAO ! Grow up FML'rs ! Bahahahaha

kittiexrawrz 0

Friday 27 August 2010 22:17

your girlfriend... is an idiot.

rwctkd95 0

Friday 27 August 2010 23:09

no ****

babygurl753 0

Friday 27 August 2010 23:11

haha loser

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Keywords

Social Media Stalker Love Instagram Spiders Ironic Phobias Animals Embarrassing Transportation Bikes Health Ecology Work Drunk AITA Poopoo peepee Geek Facebook Weird Mysterious Vacation Gamers Video games Gross Smells First Dates Parents Technology Annoying

The Top

Today, my wife and I got frisky in the living room, completely forgetting we recently gave our adult daughter access to our home security cameras for safety reasons. The cameras didn’t see anything but she now keeps making fun of my orgasm noises, which apparently she found hilarious. FML

I agree, your life sucks 140

You deserved it 477

Today, I found out that morning after pills don't work if you're already ovulating. I also found out that I might become a father wayyyy sooner than expected. FML

I agree, your life sucks 131

You deserved it 563

The Top

Today, I was pushing my wheelchair-bound grandpa back home, when a pretty girl walked past us in the opposite direction. He made me stop and turn him around, just so he could check her ass out as she walked away. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 978

You deserved it 5 006

Today, my boss called me in to tell me I had got a raise. I bought a $1500 Chanel bag. Two hours later he called me in to tell me he was kidding. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 903

You deserved it 44 979

Today, I checked on an uncle following his surgery. I got a two-hour monologue of how the internet doesn't really save paper, because he has to print the bills and receipts, plus pay for ink and staples, and that utility companies are really just shifting costs to the consumer by going "paperless". FML

I agree, your life sucks 766

You deserved it 126

Today, I was taking a shower and I saw a new body wash that said "Radiance Ribbons." That sounded a little effeminate, but it smelled manly enough and the only alternative was normal soap, so I used it. Just now, I stepped out into the sun and found out what "Radiance Ribbons" means. I sparkle. FML

I agree, your life sucks 65 903

You deserved it 33 567

Today, I left 20 minutes early for school to get a good seat in class. I sat in traffic for 20 minutes before I even got on the thruway and for another 25 minutes once I got off the exit for school. Then I couldn't find parking at my university. I missed class. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 930

You deserved it 803

Today, I walked in on my grandma playing with herself. Every time I close my eyes, I see things that no mortal was ever meant to see. FML

I agree, your life sucks 77 286

You deserved it 7 245