Intimacy: Today, my girlfriend and I were going to get intimate, so I masturbated... - FML

By Anonymous - 14/03/2013 16:59 - Germany - Dortmund

Spicy

Today, my girlfriend and I were going to get intimate, so I masturbated before leaving my place, hoping it would help me last longer than usual. 10 minutes in, she shoved me off and started screaming at me, convinced that I've been cheating on her and practising with someone else. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 680

You deserved it 10 543

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Same thing different taste

By fuck russia and fuck georgia too - 09/03/2014 18:38 - Azerbaijan

Spicy

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me. She'd walked in on me jerking off, which she said is exactly the same as cheating on her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 57 985

You deserved it 10 354

By SimpleSimon - 01/07/2009 00:14 - United Kingdom

Spicy

Today, I went to work leaving my girlfriend asleep in my bed. Later she calls me demanding to know how long I've been cheating on her. We don't use condoms but she found several in the bin when she decided to empty it. I had to explain while my colleagues listened that I use them to masturbate. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 289

You deserved it 19 712

Time's up

By blueballed - 29/11/2014 21:08 - Germany - Kiel

Spicy

Today, after a huge fight, my girlfriend started coming onto me. I thought it was actual make-up sex and went along with it. It was great, until she suddenly shoved me off her just as I was almost ready to come. She smugly announced she was dumping me, got dressed, then left. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 879

You deserved it 8 262

You sad man

By Anonymous - 13/02/2020 19:00

Spicy

Today, my girlfriend sent me a revenge video of her having sex with another guy, because I cheated on her. I got angry with her, but later used the video to masturbate. FML

I agree, your life sucks 807

You deserved it 6 936

Sorry

By Anonymous - 23/09/2013 18:06 - United States - Olympia

Spicy

Today, I walked in on my girlfriend having sex with another man. Her main reaction was to get mad at me for not knocking. FML

I agree, your life sucks 63 848

You deserved it 5 075

No good

By :(( - 28/09/2013 21:24 - Australia - Brisbane

Spicy

Today, I was all set to lose my virginity to my girlfriend. I was ecstatic, until she threatened to "beat the fuck" out of me if I didn't make it good for her. The actual sex was 30 seconds of me being given death glares, causing me to lose my boner, and have to leave in shame. FML

I agree, your life sucks 69 404

You deserved it 8 025

By notsohandy - 03/01/2014 22:08 - Denmark - Hadsten

Spicy

Today, I woke up to my girlfriend masturbating beside me. I asked if she needed a hand. She called me a pervert and now won't speak to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 69 928

You deserved it 8 122

Denied

By Anonymous - 30/08/2023 22:00

Spicy

Today, I started coming on to my girlfriend, only to get a nasty rejection. I told her I would just go jerk off, to which she replied, "Don't you dare!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 483

You deserved it 124

By PerfectBoyfriend - 07/06/2016 16:38 - Belgium - Reet

Spicy

Today, my girlfriend got pissed because she thought she heard me masturbating in the bathroom. I was brushing my teeth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 379

You deserved it 1 911

By Anonymous - 18/07/2013 19:01 - Netherlands - Herkenbosch

Spicy

Today, I tried coming on to my fiancé. He just pushed me off and got out of bed, saying he wasn't in the mood. A half hour later, I caught him jerking off to several windows of porn. FML

I agree, your life sucks 62 464

You deserved it 6 664

Next

Top comments

Saone_fml 27

Friday 15 March 2013 1:11

So much for trying to please her... Next time she makes dinner, scream at her that she's cheating on you and practicing cooking for someone else.

cuponoodles34 10

Friday 15 March 2013 1:11

does she really trust you so little???

Comments

CanadianCutie22 16

Sunday 7 April 2013 22:20

lol she's insecure !!!!

Elfkid21 19

Sunday 5 May 2013 13:18

that's when u tell her about you masturbating before you get there.

Acid1260 21

Friday 7 November 2014 22:39

So I guess 10 minutes is longer than usual?

superguydude200 5

Friday 27 March 2015 20:05

Just say that you have been practicing with your hand

MattChristensen 14

Tuesday 31 March 2015 0:46

You should be practiCing your spelling

daemonsparta 16

Monday 3 August 2015 2:50

could she be projecting?

Keywords

Love Video games Gamers Health Weird Gross Smells First Dates Parents Technology Kids Annoying Jealousy Dogs Animals AITA Pranks Dreams Family Geek Relatable Gun control Money Amazon Birthday Cute Awkward Abuse Social Media Scams

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