Kids: Today, my five-year-old daughter asked me why moms don't swallow...

By -___- - 14/09/2012 23:06 - Sweden - Stockholm

Today, my five-year-old daughter asked me why moms don't swallow clothes, so that their babies won't be born naked. My husband burst into derisive laughter, and has now trained her into responding to the name "Derp-Derp." FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 657

You deserved it 3 352

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Same thing different taste

By Fatty - 06/03/2010 13:05 - United States

Today, my six year old daughter cut out the stomach area of four of my favorite shirts. When I asked her why she had done so she replied, "So that they fit your tummy better, Mommy." FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 170

You deserved it 6 206

By Lax - 12/01/2009 09:37 - France

Today, my 5 year-old daughter watched me getting dressed in the bathroom and asked, "Mum, when my boobs grow, will they droop like yours?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 921

You deserved it 3 488

By KittyKat - 03/11/2013 14:22 - United Kingdom - Milton Keynes

Today, my husband was getting undressed. I told my 2-year-old daughter not to go in our bedroom because he was undressing in there. I turned my back and she instantly ran off to my bedroom. I heard her shout "I can see daddy's tail!" Now, she points to everyone's crotch and shouts "TAIL!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 934

You deserved it 7 085

By numbnuts - 23/09/2013 05:48 - Canada - Nanaimo

Today, my 2-year-old daughter overheard my wife and I arguing and fixated on one particular insult my wife threw at me. Now my daughter won't stop saying "Daddy a numbnuts", always with a big smile on her face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 492

You deserved it 6 051

By Joanne - 24/02/2012 13:26 - Australia

Today, my mother-in-law thought it would be appropriate to give my five-year-old daughter some bedclothes with the Playboy logo all over them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 254

You deserved it 3 428

By Bailey - 22/08/2010 06:58 - United States

Today, I was in a public restroom with my 4 year old daughter. I took her in the stall with me, and as I was using the restroom she looked down and loudly asked, "Mommy! Why do you have a beard on your peepee?!!" Then I heard everybody in the stalls next to us laughing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 748

You deserved it 14 092

Mommy Goes Commando

By Anonymous - 03/08/2017 13:00

Today, I went to a restaurant with my family. My five year old goes under the table and says "Mommy! You forgot to wear underwear!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 286

You deserved it 2 812

By Jess - 30/05/2009 12:48 - United States

Today, I overheard my 5 year old daughter call a girl in her dance class a slut. Shocked, I asked her where she heard that word. Her response: "I heard you and Daddy say it about her Mommy." FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 366

You deserved it 71 826

By anonymous - 28/07/2011 05:39 - United States

Today, my 4 year-old daughter's favorite expression became "shit balls." FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 431

You deserved it 16 955

By Anonymous - 27/05/2013 22:15 - United States - Lehi

Today, my in-laws came for dinner. My 5-year-old son chose that as the perfect time to say, "Good girls always swallow!" when my daughter coughed up some of her food. I have no idea where he heard it, but my mother-in-law blamed me, and my wife had to convince her not to call CPS on me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 037

You deserved it 3 747

Danny0522 8

Saturday 15 September 2012 5:05

So I'm not the only one that wonders...

missababgaga 19

Saturday 15 September 2012 5:08

Remind him that he is the father of your "Derp-Derp"

Comments

jillpower 0

Sunday 16 September 2012 15:02

You should be proud that your daughter is using her cognitive skills to think of something most kids just ask "Where do babies come from?" Your husband is an ass and I find it hilarious that your daughter seems to be more mature than your husband.

MissLizWolf 8

Sunday 16 September 2012 15:33

I actually told my family this one, it's hilarious! Favourited!

CarouselHeart 11

Sunday 16 September 2012 16:02

Jeez, what a jerk. Most five-year-olds don't even know where babies are from, so a question like that is prettyimpressive.

Negroification 7

Sunday 16 September 2012 20:05

Why FML? You're lucky to have such a hilarious husband

cougar41 8

Tuesday 18 September 2012 21:09

Sorry but your husband needs to grow up. He's a big dick

SuperDuperJuice 3

Tuesday 18 September 2012 22:09

I find this hilarious.

ItsThisGirl 17

Tuesday 18 September 2012 22:41

Your husband is an ass.

infinitron 7

Saturday 22 September 2012 8:00

Okay...I feel like a bitch for laughing so hard at that. "Derp-Derp"...oh, my sides...XD But in all honesty that was a pretty interesting question from a five-year-old. It just shows she's clever and inquisitive, and there's absolutely nothing wrong with that.