Animals: Today, my dog found out how to turn my Xbox off. So whenever... - FML

By Z3R0G5 - 06/01/2014 23:00 - United States - Indianapolis

Today, my dog found out how to turn my Xbox off. So whenever he wants attention, guess what he does. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 171

You deserved it 19 254

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Same thing different taste

By honeybunny90 - 28/12/2013 08:23 - United States - Richmond

Today, my dog has found a new game he likes. It involves him rolling around on my new bed sheets to build up static electricity and run and poke me with his nose so I get shocked. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 507

You deserved it 5 884

By Cedar Buero - 05/03/2017 19:00 - United States - Cape Girardeau

Today, my dog thought it would be a good idea to use my phone as a chew toy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 395

You deserved it 678

If I fits, I sits

By Dumbass Cat - 28/07/2022 15:00 - United States - Steele

Today, my cat got mad at me because I wouldn't let him sit on my Xbox. Jeez, sorry that I care about your safety, and I don't want my Xbox to overheat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 704

You deserved it 191

Clever boy

By Anonymous - 28/01/2023 02:30

Today, I found out my dog can open the fridge. Now I have no food left. FML

I agree, your life sucks 688

You deserved it 118

By Crystal_Nicole - 14/12/2013 05:05 - United States - Wichita

Today, my dog played dead just so I would leave him alone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 511

You deserved it 7 044

By Anonymous - 21/11/2012 05:00 - United States - Casselberry

Today, my dog climbed onto the dining room table to eat the cat's food. Then whined until I showed him how to get down. He does this every night. My dog is a genius. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 955

You deserved it 5 099

Bad boy

By Anonymous - 05/10/2013 20:23 - United Kingdom - Manchester

Today, I realized that my dog is an evil genius. As I sat down to have a snack, he barked as if he saw someone outside. I went to check it out, but nobody was there. When I returned, I found my dog on the table finishing off my bacon sandwich. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 078

You deserved it 8 755

By luni - 26/06/2011 21:17 - United Kingdom

Today, when my boyfriend said it was time to play with his baby, I figured he was talking about me. He meant his Xbox. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 842

You deserved it 8 891

Who's a good boy?

By Hey buddy - 10/11/2022 10:00

Today, my dog celebrated my coming home by slapping me in the junk repeatedly with his tail. FML

I agree, your life sucks 605

You deserved it 180

Clever boy

By Lisa87 - 21/05/2024 09:00 - United States

Today, I came home to find my dog had learned how to open our fridge. He ate the birthday cake I was saving for a friend's surprise party, and to add insult to injury, he'd also apparently thrown the barely digested cake up all over my bed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 460

You deserved it 73

Next

Top comments

purebliss_fml 19

Tuesday 7 January 2014 14:10

So turn the Xbox off and take him for a walk!

Jacksparrow72 21

Tuesday 7 January 2014 14:09

Should have gotten a PS4.

Comments

Khogz 2

Wednesday 8 January 2014 7:07

Funny how the power of anonymity makes everyone think they're Cesar Millan...

44skull44 6

Wednesday 8 January 2014 7:54

The dogs are evolving

bigNaKeD 9

Wednesday 8 January 2014 8:24

Smart dog

FalconWhitaker 20

Wednesday 8 January 2014 9:09

FYL, but at the same time, that's a heck of a smart dog you've got there. Any way you can put the XBox where the dog can't reach, or is he too tall for that?

crazyhorseranch 4

Wednesday 8 January 2014 15:48

my dog can turn on/off both the 360 and the xbox one - though he prefers the 360 - he is amused by the noise! we just turned the 360 sideways so its inconvenient for him to put his nose in front of the sensor..

lousms 6

Wednesday 8 January 2014 16:30

Well? What does he do? The suspense is killing me.

T1gerwolf 8

Wednesday 8 January 2014 18:30

That bitch!

poisongirl708 11

Wednesday 8 January 2014 19:11

Then start paying attention to him more. Many researchers have shown that you have a happier and fulfilled life when you don't stay in front of the video games most of the time.

cutemouse 3

Wednesday 8 January 2014 20:17

That's cute!!!!

Blahblah9921 4

Thursday 9 January 2014 2:32

thats a sign pay more attention to ur dog

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The Top

Today, my friend, who I'm moving in with, flew up to drive from Pennsylvania to Texas, where she lives, with me. I went to the airport to pick her up and we discovered she accidentally flew to the wrong airport. On the other side of the state. I'm driving through the night to rescue her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 130

You deserved it 1 350

Today, it's now exactly one year until I turn 30 and I’ve never been with a woman before. I know that it’s over for me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 286

You deserved it 211

The Top

Today, I ordered ramen to go. I looked at my order and discovered a cockroach. Disgusted, I showed it to them, and they apologized by "replacing" it for free. Later on, while I was enjoying the delicious food, I once again discovered a cockroach buried under all the noodles. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 707

You deserved it 6 827

Today, I took my father to a hockey game. He always has to get pictures with the girls, so while in bag check, he used his breath spray. He got me in the eye, and I was temporarily blinded through most of the first period. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 719

You deserved it 148

Today, right before a huge snowstorm hit our area, I broke up with my girlfriend. In her fury, she decided to grab my car keys and roll down all four windows in my car. I now have 2 feet of half melted snow in my backseat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 006

You deserved it 11 824

Today, I was racing some mates to the beach and I decided to take a short-cut by jumping over a low wall. I didn't realise the wall was to stop people falling into the stormwater drain. Which is 3 metres deep. And has razor-sharp oysters growing at the bottom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 386

You deserved it 40 014

Today, I was using the urinal at work when an old guy started using the one next to mine. All of a sudden, he used that Ghostbusters' line, "Cross the streams!", and tried to pee into my urinal. I had to wait 4 hours in pee-drenched shoes until my shift was over. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 926

You deserved it 1 294

Today, I hacked into my best friend's Facebook account to message my mother about organizing a surprise party for myself for my 21st. She ignored the message for two days before replying, "I don't think so. No one would really show up and I think that would hurt her feelings." FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 578

You deserved it 20 541