Health: Today, my brother asked me if I wanted to see a magic trick....

By cuntocracy - 21/01/2014 22:27 - Australia

Today, my brother asked me if I wanted to see a magic trick. I stupidly said yes and now have a black eye from where he punched me. My dad thinks it's hilarious and my mum says he didn't know any better. He's 13. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 227

You deserved it 6 061

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Same thing different taste

By vreenya - 08/04/2014 20:13 - Chile - Santiago

Today, my little brother was feeling like the god damned bratty douchebag he is and hurled a basketball at me. It missed, hit the wall, and rebounded straight into his face. He burst into tears, and I'm now grounded because my parents believed him when he said I threw it at him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 606

You deserved it 4 038

By NaomiMadison - 30/07/2011 05:15 - United States

Today, my little brother came into my room and hit me over the head with his baseball bat. He then dropped the bat onto my floor and ran crying into my mother's room proclaiming I stole his bat and beat him with it for fun. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 101

You deserved it 3 138

By tsakashvili - 26/05/2009 04:38 - United States

Today, I decided to scare my 10 year old sister for fun. I hid behind a door and leapt out, shouting "Boo!" when she walked by. She burst into tears and ran screaming to my mom. My mom thought I'd hit my sister, and was so angry that she punched me in the eye. FML

I agree, your life sucks 59 852

You deserved it 18 905

Iron Man

By Anonymous - 14/12/2009 23:46 - United States

Today, my little brother punched me in the stomach. When I didn't flinch and he asked me why, I thought it would be funny to tell him I was Iron Man and that nothing could hurt me. Two seconds later, he took a step back and kicked me in the nuts as hard as he could. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 673

You deserved it 38 459

By Normal - 13/12/2009 04:39 - United States

Today, my brother and I got in a fight and he told my friends that I am mentally disabled. They believed him. Apparently, "everything makes sense now." FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 000

You deserved it 3 872

No touching!

By Noname - 27/01/2009 19:36 - United States

Today, at the mall my brother and I went to look at a vendor's items when my mom said not to touch anything. Thinking my brother was standing next to me, I saw him touching stuff so I smacked him in the arm and told him to stop. I turn to see that the old lady to my side was giving me a mean look. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 011

You deserved it 23 322

By mochiko - 09/08/2009 07:28 - United States

Today, I was at the mall with my little brother. I saw him touching some expensive objects, so I slapped his arm. I noticed he wasn't my brother when he started crying and his real mom slapped me in the face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 478

You deserved it 56 311

Jedi mind trick

By Anonymous - 02/10/2019 04:00

Today, my stepdad punched me in the face after I told him I hated him. He and my mom came in 10 minutes later to try to convince me that I'd made it up in my head that he'd punched me. My face was still red. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 251

You deserved it 197

By WickedRene - 02/08/2014 01:57 - United States - Rochester

Today, I was watching my 3 year old brother. He asked me to get him a cookie and I said, "What's the magic word?" He looked at me angrily and said "Bitch, please." FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 935

You deserved it 8 217

Fight Club

By MyFaceHurts - 03/08/2010 10:40 - United States

Today, while at a local bar, my friends and I were approached by an overly intoxicated man who asked us each politely if we wanted to fight. Thinking it was a joke, I said yes. It wasn't a joke, I now have a broken nose and a black eye. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 855

You deserved it 55 499

Welshite 39

Wednesday 22 January 2014 2:11

Now you see him...now you don't.

jnanderson 16

Wednesday 22 January 2014 2:11

I guess that's what they call black humor.

Comments

StzaCrack666 18

Wednesday 22 January 2014 12:58

kick him repeatedly in the testicles... hard

ZorroRooster 19

Wednesday 22 January 2014 16:08

Asl him if he wants to see a vanishing act and then kick him in the crotch so hard his balls go back up from whence they came.

ekwinoks 5

Wednesday 22 January 2014 19:19

Shoulda hit em back, that'll stop his interest In magic

shanannygians07 28

Wednesday 22 January 2014 19:24

At least you're not bald now..

DanielleinDC 33

Wednesday 22 January 2014 20:39

Unless your brother is mentally challenged, he should know by 13 not to hit other people. What is it with all these rotten parents showing clear favoritism to one sibling at the deep expense of another?

Axel5238 29

Thursday 23 January 2014 0:41

I think all to frequently they were the same shitty kids that got older but never matured past 15-24 so they end up raising kids that in a few cases kids are gonna be man/woman children. Though, I find it hard to believe some of the FML that the parents are actually doing stuff like that and people submit it just for because they can and they like the attention.