Miscellaneous: Today, my boyfriend was buying a new hockey stick; to test it...

By Anonymous - 21/03/2011 03:34 - United States

Today, my boyfriend was buying a new hockey stick; to test it out he started hitting a ball around the aisle and decided to shoot it back into its bin. Instead the ball hit me dead in the mouth, giving me a fat lip. Instead of consoling me, my boyfriend yelled "GOAL!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 936

You deserved it 6 691

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Same thing different taste

Boing

By lily - 18/08/2019 12:00

Today, I was about to kiss my boyfriend in a courtyard when a soccer ball hit me in the head, hard. My boyfriend remarked that it made a "hollow sound" when it hit me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 602

You deserved it 191

By bruised - 19/05/2016 20:54 - Australia - Sydney

Today, while playing hockey, one of my teammates decided to swing her hockey stick like a golf club. She missed the ball, but managed to hit me right in the vagina. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 308

You deserved it 1 238

The name of that old man?

By thisblows - 11/04/2009 20:42 - United States

Today, I was at a professional hockey game. I wasn't paying attention and a puck was shot into the stands and hit me in the face. My mouth was bleeding and I lost two teeth. As I was trying to cough up my teeth the old man next to me shoved me over and stole the puck. Everyone cheered. FML

I agree, your life sucks 73 179

You deserved it 5 579

By anonymous - 18/12/2010 09:11 - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I were playing around. He threw me over his shoulder and turned around, smacking my face against the wall. Then he smacked my head into the fridge after turning round to see "what that loud bang" was. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 404

You deserved it 4 468

By Anon - 08/11/2010 18:34 - Singapore

Today, I was making out with my boyfriend. He got a text and reached over to get his phone. In the process, he elbowed my face and busted my lip. He laughed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 028

You deserved it 4 182

By Username - 22/02/2010 05:44 - United States

Today, my boyfriend was telling me about accidentally punching his best friend in the face. As he was acting it out he ended up punching me and giving me a bloody nose. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 097

You deserved it 3 316

By Vicky - 26/12/2009 20:47 - United Kingdom

Today, my boyfriend went to kiss me as we were walking home. It was very icy and he slipped. His teeth went through my lip. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 160

You deserved it 2 927

Ballshot

By Anonymous - 02/12/2022 14:00

Today, I shot my boyfriend in the balls by mistake, twice. First it was a paintball gun I was using with my nephew, then it was a slingshot I use to scare away the bird who keeps eating fish from my pond. He is now sat icing his groin acting like I did it on purpose. FML

I agree, your life sucks 294

You deserved it 964

Fight Club for Dummies

By Jeff - 23/05/2019 22:21

Today, my boyfriend and I were play fighting. He said, "I should stop trying to hurt you," before punching me in the face. I lost a tooth. He found it hilarious. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 995

You deserved it 263

I'M SORRY!

By Anonymous - 25/08/2023 04:00

Today, I got back at my boyfriend for sticking the hoover nozzle in my mouth as a prank by doing the exact same thing to him. Unfortunately, it must have burst a blood vessel in his lip because it swelled right up and his entire lower jaw on the right side is just one massive bruise. FML

I agree, your life sucks 353

You deserved it 572

ManBearP1g 0

Monday 21 March 2011 8:37

Take a tennis racquet and whack him and say deuce.

sweet_candy_ 17

Monday 21 March 2011 9:00

Kick his balls and then say GOAAAAAAL.

Comments

jadenstigman 0

Tuesday 29 March 2011 6:47

Pow! right in the kisser Pow! right in the kisser Pow! right in the kisser

bazyx187 0

Thursday 31 March 2011 19:00

good man!

PantThief 0

Thursday 7 April 2011 20:20

T_T You're lucky. I've gotten cut on the cheek from a hockey ball, and started bleeding everywhere. I've been hit in the mouth and it chipped my tooth. Both my front teeth are chipped (now fixed) one has a fracture, and the roots are dying. A fat lip would be bliss.

IvoryDragon 0

Thursday 14 April 2011 4:41

boyfriend 1 - bitch 0

steelerzwoot 0

Sunday 8 May 2011 3:49

jerk off

SpikedKnuckles 8

Thursday 12 May 2011 3:42

he obviously not that good at hockey

goneawol 1

Tuesday 21 June 2011 17:54

Now get your ass back in the kitchen

Voldy_fml 16

Monday 16 January 2012 17:19

kick his balls. fyl

stevenmx86 7

Sunday 18 March 2012 0:23

Maybe you shouldn't be a drama queen? Not that you're not allowed to show that you're in pain but he had to console (sp?) you? Why couldn't he just say "sorry" and move on?