Intimacy: Today, my boyfriend's idea of foreplay was to offer to make lunch,...

By fuckadaisical - 06/12/2013 20:23 - United Kingdom - Pontypridd

Today, my boyfriend's idea of foreplay was to offer to make lunch, leave the room for a few minutes, then come back with no clothes on and offer me a "cockmeat sandwich". FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 418

You deserved it 8 896

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Same thing different taste

By sandwichsex - 08/08/2009 22:39 - United States

Today, me and my boyfriend were fooling around on my bed when things started to get heated. I said to him, "Do what ever you want". He got up and said he'd be right back. I thought he went to get a condom. He came back with a sandwich. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 133

You deserved it 11 980

Dirty talk

By Username - 24/02/2010 15:06

Today, as I was in the middle of giving my boyfriend head, he looked at me and said "Eat that cockmeat sandwich." He seriously thought it was a turn on. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 769

You deserved it 4 763

By fmysexlife - 27/07/2009 05:06 - United States

Today, I told my boyfriend I was really horny. He then gave me the link to his favorite "porn". He said I should do it for him. It was a youtube video of some girl making a sandwich. FML

I agree, your life sucks 58 613

You deserved it 15 433

Sensual world

By Anonymous - 16/10/2015 15:05 - United Kingdom - Eastleigh

Today, I had to explain to my boyfriend about the importance of foreplay, and that attempting to get me "in the mood" by whipping his cock out and air humping was roughly equivalent to throwing a dry teabag at me and claiming he made a cup of tea. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 211

You deserved it 3 007

Hangry sex

By Krissy - 06/04/2012 02:11 - United States

Today, during sex, my boyfriend stopped and asked if he could eat a sandwich while we do it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 169

You deserved it 4 849

Break time

By Samantha K - 19/10/2020 20:08

Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend when he stopped and got dressed. Naked and confused, I figured he’d be right back. Yeah, 20 minutes later with a plate of food for himself. So much for sex. It would've been nice if he told me though. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 587

You deserved it 198

How could you?

By datingmrpicky - 22/08/2011 03:44 - United States

Today, my boyfriend told me he wouldn't have sex with me because yesterday I ate a sandwich in his bed and got crumbs in it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 501

You deserved it 36 963

By sissydlk - 02/12/2010 15:54 - United States

Today, my wonderful boyfriend asked me if I wanted him to cook me scrambled eggs with sausage for breakfast. When I said yes, he pulled out his junk, and started shaking it violently in my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 265

You deserved it 10 371

By Patricia - 01/10/2011 23:30 - United States

Today, I tried to have sex with my boyfriend three times, but every time he insisted that he wasn't in the mood. I left to get food and when I came home, he was masturbating. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 538

You deserved it 5 710

By notsohot - 25/08/2019 00:01

Today, I showed up at my boyfriend's house with nothing under my coat but some sexy lingerie. He told me he was working on an assignment, and made me wait three hours before he'd have sex with me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 314

You deserved it 2 272

niatross 16

Saturday 7 December 2013 1:54

Well did you like it

Nyx_fml 23

Saturday 7 December 2013 1:56

It's sweet that he cares about keeping you well-fed.

Comments

SkoomAddicted 17

Saturday 7 December 2013 4:02

Does his nickname happen to be "Big Bob"?

kingkevin2001 9

Saturday 7 December 2013 4:04

A wise woman once said: " Close your eyes and pretend it's a banana,".

Tressa1982 18

Saturday 7 December 2013 4:07

Lol that would be awesome!

countrygirl109 11

Saturday 7 December 2013 4:14

It could've been worse..

maggiefox 25

Saturday 7 December 2013 4:17

I'm still waiting for the bad part in all this???

martin8337 35

Saturday 7 December 2013 4:17

It has a protein filling.

martin8337 35

Saturday 7 December 2013 4:19

Was it a meal or an appetizer?

jeffsaint 3

Saturday 7 December 2013 4:24

I fail to see the problem

speakersboom 19

Saturday 14 December 2013 4:11

plot twist: she's vegetarian.

blayzie420 7

Saturday 7 December 2013 4:28

did you eat it at least? its not nice to turn food down..

weveallbeenthere 30

Saturday 7 December 2013 4:28

hope you enjoyed your meal

Keywords

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The Top

Today, my step-dad was talking about how he was raised in Las Vegas, telling stories about him and his buddies, until he stopped, looked right at my mom and said, "Find her, feed her, f*ck her, forget her. But I never forgot your mom, that's how I stole her from your dad." FML

I agree, your life sucks 59 384

You deserved it 4 153

Today, despite the fact that we are well off and desperate to be parents, my sister refuses to let us adopt her unborn baby, and intends to “raise him on her own.” We earn twice what she does and have been trying to conceive or adopt for 7 years, and she doesn’t even have a husband. FML

I agree, your life sucks 114

You deserved it 2 200

The Top

Today, my step-sister asked me what an organ donor was. I told her it's someone who delivers pianos. She believed me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 303

You deserved it 415

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me because I don’t have a life outside of him. I don’t have any friends other than him, nor do I have any hobbies or interests; he’s the centre of my world. Apparently this makes me too available, needy, and codependent. FML

I agree, your life sucks 213

You deserved it 1 156

Today, my parents still think they can control me. I’m 27, married, and have a son. Even after all the abuse and trauma over the years, they still think that everything is fine. That they did their “best”. Why do they think this is right, and think they should have any right to my son or even see him? FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 125

You deserved it 143

Today, I was basically treated to, "Hey, you're laid off by the end of the month. Oh, and would you mind training your replacement? We have budget cuts, and he works for less." FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 683

You deserved it 107

Today, I turned in an overdue English assignment at college. My instructor accused me of plagiarism, writing that my sentence structure was "TO" good. Seriously? FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 036

You deserved it 4 399

Today, I found out my 15 year-old daughter is sexually active. I found out by finding her in our bedroom with a boy from her class, using one of our condoms. Her dad hasn’t spoken or moved from the kitchen table in over 30 minutes. I think he’s so mad his brain glitched and got stuck. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 310

You deserved it 240