Intimacy: Today, my boyfriend described going down on me as being like... - FML

By Anonymous - 18/10/2010 04:10 - Canada

Spicy

Today, my boyfriend described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur.' FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 223

You deserved it 39 324

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Same thing different taste

By Wawawiwa - 21/07/2010 23:44 - Namibia

Spicy

Today, my boyfriend was going down on me. After removing my underwear, he started singing "In the jungle, the mighty jungle..." FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 814

You deserved it 53 748

Nomnom

By wow babe - 19/11/2012 17:46 - United States - Arnold

Spicy

Today, my boyfriend went down on me for the first time. He definitely killed the mood when, while down there, he started saying, "Nomnomnomnom." FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 074

You deserved it 5 616

By thetalkingvagina - 09/06/2010 11:34 - Australia

Spicy

Today, my boyfriend was going down on me. Suddenly, he grabbed my 'lower' lips and moved them in a talking motion, proclaiming that "the talking vagina declares war and wants to conquer the great penis." FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 903

You deserved it 18 531

Superfuzz Big Muff

By miiiiilk - 05/12/2010 11:12 - United States

Spicy

Today, as my boyfriend was about to go down on me, he held his breath and said, "I'm going in!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 644

You deserved it 9 529

By Anonymous - 19/01/2016 11:03 - United Kingdom - London

Spicy

Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend. It was all going great until he decided to try talking dirty. His idea of this was moaning loudly, "Just what the pussy ordered" as he entered me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 285

You deserved it 2 746

Great idea

By anonymous - 22/03/2012 04:46 - United States - Chelsea

Spicy

Today, my boyfriend went down on me with whiskey in his mouth. It felt like my genitals were on fire. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 891

You deserved it 6 937

By loldick - 15/11/2009 18:28 - United States

Spicy

Today, while my girlfriend was going down on me, she looked up at me and said, in a high-pitched voice, "Yummy yummy yummy yummy yummy!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 926

You deserved it 23 795

By lorrilanee - 20/11/2010 06:20 - Australia

Today, I finally made out with my boyfriend. Let's just say his idea of making out is moving his tongue like a lizard. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 184

You deserved it 5 083

Woof woof

By kjdhfakjs - 20/05/2010 18:32 - United States

Spicy

Today, while having sex with my boyfriend, he started pretending he was a dog. This included barking, licking my face, and scratching his ears. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 417

You deserved it 6 699

By Anonymous - 19/06/2012 03:33 - United States

Spicy

Today, I was getting dirty with my boyfriend. It was the first time he had fingered anyone, and the only thing he said was, "It feels like the inside of my asshole." FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 385

You deserved it 4 615

Next

Top comments

xxElle 0

Monday 18 October 2010 12:06

at least he added "deliciousness"...?

TheWhiteDemon 0

Monday 18 October 2010 12:05

...and? what is he supposed to say thar it was like "eating at a buffet"?

Comments

JackJack12 0

Wednesday 20 October 2010 5:34

i saw this one on TFLN.

jemjams30 0

Wednesday 20 October 2010 7:49

Go buy a razor girl! Maybe he'll have something better to say once you pull up the carpet & get tile.

haitilover 0

Wednesday 20 October 2010 10:53

wow

Obama_Sucks_Ball 0

Wednesday 20 October 2010 18:11

Fur... SICK!

tooLONGforYOU 0

Thursday 21 October 2010 6:26

Lets keep it gangsta baby, let's drink some gin and juice You know you want me baby, I got them sexy moves I drive those bitches crazy, cause I'm a sexy dude But don't expect I'm having sex unless you shave your pubes

jahmiarayven 0

Thursday 21 October 2010 19:56

Maybe you should shave that shit

sincerelyxmex7 3

Friday 22 October 2010 15:59

uhm yeah. if you hate it that much, shave.

t0m_fml 0

Sunday 24 October 2010 7:28

that's not too bad maybe he likes that kinda stuff some guys do.

Sh0wT1M3 0

Sunday 24 October 2010 17:32

lol did u cough up a hair ball

biagginoUSA 5

Sunday 24 October 2010 18:20

could have been worse he could have it's like u cleaned ur ****** with another dirty ****** lmao

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The Top

Today, I realized that I'm the only person in my house not getting any. My sister is sleeping with my ex. My roommate is sleeping with my brother, and my mom texted me, asking to make it look like she slept in her bed so that she didn't have to do the "walk of shame" in the morning. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 458

You deserved it 2 907

Today, my best friend’s girlfriend took his phone and blocked me on Facebook, all because I wrote him a heartfelt Happy Birthday message on his wall. I found out because he messaged me from another account explaining what happened. She refuses to understand that we’re strictly platonic friends. FML

I agree, your life sucks 440

You deserved it 141

The Top

Today, I was so excited to finally use my $45 gift card to a hair salon. I walk up to the doors to find them locked and to look inside to see that the salon was not only closed but out of business. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 906

You deserved it 4 867

Today, I went on a picnic with my boyfriend's family. I thought it would be nice to wear my sundress and cowgirl boots. The wind repeatedly picked up my dress in front of everyone, including my boyfriend's seedy grandpa, who I have to admit can do a pretty good wolf-whistle. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 982

You deserved it 6 943

Today, I was at my sister's concert. Some girls sitting behind me were cheering for someone and being annoying. Halfway through I yelled my sister's name, only to get called out, pointed at, and yelled at for being disrespectful. The other girls didn't get yelled at when they were being more disruptive than me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 661

You deserved it 193

Today, after spending at least two hours on the phone every day for the past week, my health insurer I pay a huge monthly premium to agreed to cover my life-sustaining insulin. But they won't contribute to the cost until after I've paid an unaffordable deductible first. I'm going to die even though I'm insured. FML

I agree, your life sucks 525

You deserved it 83

Today, my mom asked me to take my dad's mail to him. The "mail" was divorce papers. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 493

You deserved it 333

Today, my wife and I were going through a very amicable 50/50 divorce, until she found out I’m already dating. She’s only two years younger than my wife, but it upset her enough she’s now stalling the divorce until she gets 75/25 in her favour, including the holiday cottage. FML

I agree, your life sucks 845

You deserved it 1 842